“Die before you die. There is no chance after.”
— Till We Have Faces, C. S. Lewis (1956)

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“Die before you die. There is no chance after.”
— Till We Have Faces, C. S. Lewis (1956)

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The man who has God for his treasure has all things in One. Many ordinary treasures may be denied him, or if he is allowed to have them, the enjoyment of them will be so tempered that they will never be necessary to his happiness. Or if he must see them go, one after one, he will scarcely feel a sense of loss, for having the Source of all things he has in One all satisfaction, all pleasure, all delight. Whatever he may lose he has actually lost nothing, for he now has it all in One, and he has it purely, legitimately and forever.
A. W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God (1948)

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Anything that’s alive must constantly regenerate. Everything that’s stagnant is by definition dead. That is why yesterday’s manna or filling doesn’t do. To be alive you have to daily be filled and emptied out, you cannot ever hold onto that which you currently have because it will spoil both itself and you. To be stuck is to be dead. To be alive is to let go and make space for the new. To grow is to let go of the old and allow the new to come in. To be alive is to move forward, to be dead is to stay in the same place. Therefore, to stay comfortable is to die and to allow discomfort is to live.
when we pursue the Giver, we often get the gifts, but when we pursue the gifts, we get nothing.
it’s okay to walk around with a broken heart

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Those days of blistering cold are almost always accompanied by a kind of light that is so pure and crystallized it feels like salvation, if salvation could feel like anything. There is a type of winter light, a cold light seeming warm, a light that, when beamed through a windowpane, feels like it clears whatever it touches, maybe even forgives it. It is a light that makes you forget death, a light that makes you wonder if death is even possible. It is a light like water, as beautiful as it is full of life.
— Devin Kelly, Ordinary Plots: Jenny George’s “Reprieve”

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I have learned that when the low winter sun shines through the window into your room and into your soul, it is mandatory to sit and bask in it for as long as it wishes to stay. Much like the other blessings in life, they have to be caught in the moment for the knowledge that they shall not stay forever, or at least not continuously. Only those who are empty can be filled, only those whose palms are open can receive, only those who hunger and thirst can be satisfied. Blessed are those who lack, for they shall be filled. Blessed are those have not what they wish to have. Blessed are those who mourn. Blessed are those who wait. Blessed are those who hurt. Blessed are those who are confused. Blessed are the patient. Blessed are the wounded. Blessed are the empty.
— journal entry (23/11/2025)
laura hettich