Aspiring writer. Genshin and HSR addict. Pro-jedi. LOTM nerd. Obsessed with Pride and Prejudice. Link Click fan. This blog does not support slander for any of the batfam
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: åē„ | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Lohen & Varka (Genshin impact)
Characters: Lohen (Genshin Impact), Varka (Genshin Impact)
Additional Tags: varka's appearances are brief, Lohen's Story Quest: Lepus Miles Act I: A Knight's Legacy, Spoilers, Character Study, Light Angst, Dissociation, descriptions of recovery but not of the injuries, Knights of Favonius (Genshin Impact), Wild Hunt (Genshin Impact), Lohen is a Menace (Genshin Impact), Fear of Death, Powerlessness, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, just in the mentioned nightmares
Summary:
He had been powerless. Weak. With no one to defend him. So he had to grow into his own protector, spending years honing his power and abilities, by whatever means necessary. Yet it wasnāt enough.
It would never be enough.
Not in a world with true protagonists, favored by fate itself. Not in a world with powerful villains, whose destructiveness must be shown at the expense of the side characters.
Not in a world where he was one such side character.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: åē„ | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Illuga (Genshin Impact), Ying | Lumine (Genshin Impact)
Additional Tags: she only shows up briefly at the end, Dreams and Nightmares, Character Study, Minor Injuries, mentions of blood and death, Survivor Guilt, some self-destructive behavior, Wild Hunt (Genshin Impact), a given in an Illuga fic, Lightkeepers (Genshin Impact), No Beta We Die Like Everyone Illuga Cares About, One Shot
Summary:
He ran, monstrous roars chasing after him. Past his burning childhood home. Past his comrades falling one by one. When will the coward look at his reflection and not see a trembling child?
Once upon a time, there lived a family of Nightingales in a cold, lawless land. One day, wild beasts attacked their nest, leaving the child who fell out of it as the only survivor. Winter Iceleas found him and, full of pity for the young bird, took him in as one of their own. He watched as the wind and frost constantly attacked his newfound family, yet they never wavered.
The Nightingale wasn't blinded by their courage. Instead, he wished they hadn't needed to be courageous in the first place. But only the warmth of a sun could thaw the frost and combat the cold. And if the sun would never rise for them, he would replace it. If he had no wicks to burn and carry, he would set himself ablaze. If he couldn't soar into the skies to spread the sunlight, he would bind himself to the earth to keep it warm.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
About Crunchyroll and TBHX, and why I feel the situation is hypocritical.
The fact that they are excluding donghua is well known, and that is why in the first place I never cared about their nominations. It pains me to think that when season 3 of Link Click comes out (which I am sure will be a masterpiece) will not get any awards, because well, donghua. Same way for LOTM (Lord of Mysteries) not being included in the nominations. Like okay, it is donghua, already lesson was learned that Crunchyroll hates donghua, no surprise, but very sad.
Situation with To Be Hero X is a bit different. Crunchyroll was promoting TBHX as an anime, Crunchyroll was posting short videos with TBHX and saying it is from anime for more people to watch it. Also Crunchyroll listed Japanese as the original audio for THBX, while the original is actually Chinese. And then, when it comes to nominations, suddenly it is a donghua? When it was convenient, it was an anime, and now not. So playing "donghua card" does not work here because of Crunchyroll.
Moreover, TBHX is a joined product from Chinese Bilibili and Japanese Aniplex. By excluding TBHX from nominations, Crunchyroll also disvalues work from Japanese animators, Japanese VAs (who are credited on official TBHX website), and other Japanese people who worked on the project.
TLDR; Imo Crunchyroll is just a hypocrite when it comes to TBHX. They say TBHX is anime when it is convenient and then donghua when it is convenient.
Donghuas deserve as much recognition as animes. A lot of people skip donghuas just because it is Chinese. But after all, anime comes from "animation", and donghua means "animation" in Chinese. Donghuas are not worse than animes by any criteria.
It does not matter to me whether TBHX would win any nominations, the same for LOTM or LC. TBHX is the show of the year for me, and it deserves to be in the nominations as much as animes (as all other donghuas too).
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
I wonāt be theorizing here, this is how I interpret the character based on the episodes and my personal experiences. My point is neither attacking nor defending him. I repeat a few things at different points to reinforce ideas that are connected but explained in separate parts. Iāll talk about the technical aspects of the episodes (direction, atmosphere, cinematography, etc.) in a separate post.
Iāve been active in the TBHX fandom since the very beginning of the project, and back when Ghostbladeās first PV came out, most of us were led to believe that Wang Yi had been experimented on as a child, possibly as a reason why he became a hero and an assassin. So when his episode was released, many of us were surprised by how different, yet deeply compelling, he actually is. Itās now obvious why Li Haoling, the director, was the most anxious about how this character would be received by the public. Wang Yi is complex, not only difficult to understand, but also hard to depict in a way that allows for that understanding.
First of all, he has an affective disorder, and we also see signs of sensory overload. Later, he says, āI donāt know how to express emotions, because I canāt even tell what emotions are,ā which possibly points to alexithymia, a condition where someone struggles to identify or describe their own emotions. This is common among autistic or otherwise neurodivergent individuals.
Itās important to distinguish terms here: affective disorder refers to a mental health condition that affects mood and emotional regulation, while neurodivergence describes naturally occurring differences in brain function and behavior, not deficits or disorders. Sensory overload is a neurological response that can result from neurodivergence, affective dysregulation, or even momentary stress. In Wang Yiās case, itās very likely that these traits and conditions are co-occurring. Iām not a doctor, so I wonāt diagnose him, Iām just interpreting what is shown.
Secondly, Wang Yi grows up in a multi-generational household, a close-knit family with constant activity, background noise (TV, meals, conversation), and little privacy. While this can feel warm and supportive for some, for a neurodivergent or sensory-sensitive person, it can easily become overwhelming or emotionally exhausting. In many families, especially those that run a business, itās normal for children to help out early and learn the trade hands-on, often with the unspoken expectation that theyāll eventually take over. But this can overlook the childās individual temperament, interests, and needs, especially if the child is neurodivergent, which can already make daily functioning more difficult in overstimulating or socially demanding environments.
In such households and cultures, neurodivergent traits have often been misinterpreted, ignored, or pathologized. Sometimes thereās an intense pressure to āsave faceā and maintain the familyās reputation, and symptoms may be brushed off as ābad behaviorā or āpoor manners.ā Iām not blaming his family or his culture, but itās fair to say that his environment didnāt support him in the ways he may have needed.
In Ghostbladeās original PV, it was hinted that he may have been tested or evaluated, though the show hasnāt shown that. Itās possible his family noticed he was ādifferentā and had him checked out, but since that would be speculation, I wonāt dig into it. What we can see is that he didnāt receive the kind of early support that could have helped him better manage his internal world.
In the flashbacks, Wang Yi seems to be about 13ā16 years old. We see him helping with the family business, and while we donāt watch him explicitly kill the pig, itās heavily implied through his narration and body language (heās also holding a knife). His description even includes a series of chemical reactions that happen in the pigās body, which suggests a functional understanding of biology/biochemistry. This may reflect his present knowledge being layered over the flashback narration, or it could just be that he learned things through practice. Either way, the point is clear: Wang Yi, as a teenager, is used to the idea of killing.
More than that, and this is crucial, if he is both neurodivergent and dealing with a mood disorder, his entire perception of life, empathy, and identity may function differently. For someone like him, the boundary between humans and animals may not be emotionally or philosophically distinct. People with overlapping neurodivergent traits often interpret the world through patterns, emotional consistency, and nontraditional moral logic. He may not see killing a person as worse than killing an animal, not because he lacks empathy, but because he values life in a fundamentally equal way, outside of social norms.
Thatās not coldness, thatās consistency in his own worldview.
Iāll take a slight detour to explain this further...
He says: āI come from a family of butchers, but I always thought they couldāve done better. A proper butcher should be like an assassin, minimal talking. Because the more you talk, the more people will know. And even if pigs donāt have the power to take revenge on you, they could still curse you after they die. So I swore to become the coolest assassin.ā
In the first part, heās not demeaning his familyās work as butchers. When he says they ācouldāve done better,ā heās referring specifically to how they talked too much while performing their duties, not to the profession itself. The next sentence makes that clear: āA proper butcher should be like an assassin, minimal talking.ā To him, taking life, even animal life, is something that demands seriousness, silence, and restraint.
Why silence? Because āthe more you talk, the more people will know. And even if pigs donāt have the power to take revenge, they could still curse you.ā This is where we see how thin the line is, in his mind, between animals and humans. He equates butchering animals with killing people, not in a casual or careless way, but with a strange kind of solemnity. To him, both are morally weighty acts, and while he still chooses to do them, he understands there's something inherently āwrongā or āshamefulā about it.
The idea that the dead can curse the living implies that he feels some guilt or spiritual consequence, something a person completely lacking a moral compass wouldnāt worry about. This belief points to an internal code: he may not stop killing, but he knows it isn't āright.ā He copes with this by treating the act with ceremony and silence, dissociating from it emotionally.
Silence becomes his way of self-protection. If he talks about it, he risks acknowledging the wrong, and with that comes vulnerability, shame, and guilt. To speak of it would be to āconfess,ā to let that guilt materialize and solidify into a part of his identity. If he says it out loud, heās no longer just doing something wrong, he becomes someone wrong. This is why he sees doing it quietly as the ācoolā way, not because he enjoys killing, but because heās figured out the most emotionally manageable and ācleanestā method for it.
When he says, āSo I swore to become the coolest assassin,ā itās not out of a childish desire to murder people or a belief that violence is glamorous. Itās about performing that violence in a controlled, silent, āproperā way, unlike the noisy chaos he grew up in. Silence, for him, is discipline, escape, and a shield against the internal and external noise that triggers his distress. And if he was being trained to take over his family business as a butcher, which to him equals the work of an assassin, then why not just become an assassin instead, when presented the option? That's why he took the offer from Mr. Shang, in his head he'd be doing the same thing, but in a different environment. And living with his family was so traumatizing that the change in his routine, although scary, was worth the effort.
So why doesnāt he say any of this outright? Because he doesnāt fully understand his own emotions. He experiences things deeply, but he canāt express them clearly or in neurotypical terms. Heās not explaining his thoughts to us, weāre watching them unfold as they occur in his head. His emotional logic makes perfect sense to him, even if it isnāt explicit. The words he uses and the words we might use for the same feeling are different, but the emotion underneath is the same.
TL;DR (Short Scheme):
He likely has at least one mental health condition and may be neurodivergent.
He experiences sensory overload and was raised in a chaotic, noisy, overstimulating butcher shop.
He may conflate butchering animals with killing people, not out of coldness, but internal moral consistency.
He shows signs of a moral compass (worry about being cursed) ā suggests he feels guilt.
He believes talking about the killing turns it into a āconfession,ā which threatens his emotional detachment.
He does it silently to avoid triggering distress or moral/emotional chaos, and this ācoolnessā is a protective, dissociative style, not actual pride in killing.
He struggles to verbalize emotions, so his thought process isnāt cohesive to us, but internally, itās fully consistent.
Now, back on track. Because Wang Yiās family couldnāt provide the support he needed as a child, he likely never went to therapy, didnāt take medication, and lived in an overstimulating environment with a lifestyle that offered no accommodations to help him cope. Naturally, he didnāt develop effective coping strategies or self-awareness.
He struggles to connect with others, not because he doesnāt want to, but because he simply doesnāt know how. Others donāt know how to approach him either. He becomes easily overwhelmed by noise (not just any noise). To speak to his family, he wouldāve had to raise his voice just to be heard, and even then, being heard wouldnāt have meant being understood. So, why speak at all?
Maybe he did try when he was very young. But gradually, after repeatedly being misunderstood, or realizing that his words didnāt convey what he felt, he stopped. Perhaps even the sound of his own voice, forced louder than he was comfortable with, became unpleasant to him. Like I mentioned earlier, speaking could also feel like a kind of confession. Imagine if every time you opened your mouth, you felt like you were revealing guilt, even when you werenāt guilty. That kind of vulnerability is incredibly heavy.
There are many, many reasons why a person may stop talking. And when it comes to neurodivergent individuals, selective mutism is a common response, not because they donāt feel things, but because theyāre often not taken seriously, are made fun of, or dismissed entirely. Talking becomes burdensome. Whether mutism becomes disabling depends on the person, their environment, and what support they have. In Wang Yiās case, with an overstimulating home and likely no support, he shut himself off.
The Launch of FOMO (Year 19 AC)
When Wang Yi was 19, the social media platform FOMO was launched.
This is when the showās critique of our society becomes loud and clear. Wang Yi quickly became one of FOMOās first top stars, not for something he chose to do, but for simply existing: being handsome, being silent. His quietness was seen as a "cute little quirk."
Finding someone attractive isn't inherently bad, and misunderstanding a stranger isnāt either, in isolation. But it becomes a problem when someoneās privacy is stripped away without their consent.
FOMO is basically our real-world social media. On platforms like this, anyone can go viral, often without knowing, sometimes just for being in the background of someone else's video. I have my own reasons for disliking this reality, and I imagine many people do too. Most of us donāt appreciate having our faces or lives shared publicly without consent.
With Wang Yi, it goes further. People donāt just stop by his shop to gawk, they film him, take photos, and post them online, crafting entire made-up stories about who they think he is. Itās heartbreaking to watch him see those numbers climb, realizing that not only does he have to deal with his existing struggles, but now thereās a whole new challenge, forced upon him without warning.
Even his family doesnāt handle it with care. They comment on his āsuccessā without considering how he feels. They didnāt mean harm, but the truth is, intent doesnāt erase impact, and itās likely theyāve been doing this, unintentionally hurting him, for 19 years. If the people closest to him donāt get it, how can we expect strangers who only see him through a screen to?
To many, going viral might seem like a dream, but for Wang Yi (and for people like me), it would be terrifying. And Iām not even talking about Trust Value yet. Just the unwanted attention alone would be suffocating.
Even for someone who wanted to be famous, it would still be disturbing to have that happen at the hands of strangers, without agency. This is ultimately about consent, or rather, the lack of it. Itās about how predatory our imaginations can become when we stop seeing people as people, and instead view them as products of our own fantasies.
Isnāt that what the show is really about?
When Wang Yi asks, āBut who was doing the deceiving?ā, the answer is: us. People. We deceive ourselves constantly, because nothing can compete with our own imagination. Often, the wondering brings more satisfaction than the actual truth. Expectation versus reality will always be a losing battle, and Trust Value is a system that capitalizes on that very gap.
And then there's this: who likes being reduced to a single moment, action, or trait? No one. Human beings are much more than what can be seen through a narrow lens. But more often than not, that one trait is all other people choose to, or can, see, and everything else gets erased.
Itās worth emphasizing again: Wang Yi was 19 at this point. He had been struggling in silence for years. And when the world finally noticed him, it wasnāt for who he really was, but for a version of him they invented, without his consent.
At 20 years old, Mr. Shang invites Wang Yi to join Mighty Glory.
In this scene, it's telling that Wang Yi doesnāt reply. Instead, he begins stuffing his mouth with food over and over until he chokes. This moment speaks volumes. The idea of change triggers his anxiety, and paired with possible sensory sensitivities to texture or light, it becomes physically overwhelming, even nauseating. We see him nearly vomit twice in the series, both times when heās confronted with the pressure of change.
His sensitivity to light becomes more apparent later, when we see him alone in his apartment. He keeps the lights off, something we can assume he didnāt do before, when Zhang Lan and Nuonuo were still living there. Now that heās alone, his environment reflects his personal comfort: low light, minimal stimulation.
Food texture is another clue. A family memberās comment about pork jelly, and Wang Yiās own diary entry complaining about the ārubberyā texture of squid, both hint at textural aversions, something very common in neurodivergent individuals with sensory processing differences.
This moment also marks the beginning of his work as an assassin, and thereās a lot to unpack.
When he says, āI never searched for any information on my mission targets, because I know that they are definitely the ones in the wrong,ā he isnāt expressing certainty, heās expressing avoidance. By refusing to learn who they are or why theyāre targeted, he spares himself the moral complexity of the act. Itās a way to emotionally detach. No backstory means no empathy. This is both a coping strategy and a form of dissociation, a way to protect himself from the psychological weight of what heās doing.
His internal moral code, āGreed is wrong, weakness is wrong, violence is wrong, lying is wrong, betrayal is wrong, and knowing too much is also wrongā, isnāt shaped by universal values. Itās rigid, heavily filtered through personal trauma and an urgent need for psychological control. To Wang Yi, the world is overwhelming, unpredictable, and hostile. He craves clarity and order because ambiguity is unbearable. Moral absolutes give him a framework, a simple rulebook to survive in a complex world. This is especially clear in the line āknowing too much is also wrongā, which reveals that he equates knowledge with danger. Silence becomes a form of safety. The more you know, or allow yourself to know, the more vulnerable you become.
Later, he says: āSheng knows that I'm not the one who wants him killed. So I hope he won't curse me in his death.ā This line is key to understanding his psychology. He doesnāt enjoy killing. He sees it as a job, a task he dissociates from. But he still hopes the person dying wonāt blame him, emotionally or spiritually.
He knows heās the one pulling the trigger, yet he clings to the hope that he wonāt be cursedāa concept rooted in the guilt and superstition we saw earlier in his butcher-family origin story.
This isnāt just emotional distance, itās a compartmentalized conscience. He wants to be absolved, even while he continues doing the very thing he believes is morally questionable.
Do I like the fact that he killed Sheng? Of course not. Sheng seems like a great person. But that doesnāt make Wang Yi a villain to me. He already learned something from the encounter: āI also understood what was left behind in Shengās words and eyes right before he died.ā And something tells me he will learn much more, soon. A lot of people want Ghostblade to pay for what he did, but honestly, I think he already is.
Wang Yi is an unreliable character, not because he lies, but because he misinterprets or avoids his own emotions. His self-narrative is warped by trauma, possible neurodivergence, and an affective disorder. He presents the world through a distorted lens, one that makes perfect sense to him, but might not to us.
His rationalizations are not deceitful, they are protective. They shield him from collapse, but also prevent growth and insight. He speaks sincerely, but the ātruthā of what he says is often buried under layers of emotional detachment, black-and-white moral logic, neurodivergent processing and trauma adaptations.
All his defenses, like silence, detachment, and strict moral boundaries, arenāt about power or cruelty. Theyāre about survival. Heās not evil. Heās someone who has made intense, morally grey adaptations to navigate a world that has consistently overwhelmed and misunderstood him, a world that has not been kind to either his brain or his heart.
Wang Yi with Zhang Lan and Nuonuo
When they meet, we already know Wang Yiās background, but we know almost nothing about Zhang Lan. What we do see is that sheās constantly on her phone. Her reasons are never made explicit, maybe it was a form of escapism, maybe she was struggling emotionally, maybe it was just a phase or a habit carried over from her teenage years. The important thing is that despite their differences, she and Wang Yi connected strongly enough to build a relationship, though not necessarily for the same reasons.
I donāt want to over-speculate, since weāre not shown Zhang Lanās internal world, but to me it never felt like she preferred silence or struggled with interaction the way Wang Yi did. Rather, it seemed like she didnāt want to be bothered, like she wanted to remain in the digital world she found comfort in. That doesnāt mean she was disengaged all the time; itās just that the show emphasized her screen use to signal she was often emotionally absent. Life happened around her more than through her. Still, she did look at Wang Yi. He didnāt demand much, and she didnāt either. In that mutual lack of pressure, they found a kind of ease. Their silence wasnāt cold, it was comfortable. If they hadnāt wanted to be together, they simply wouldnāt have been. But they did, and in their own ways, they loved each other.
Eventually, they even got married. That couldāve been for any number of reasons, legal, cultural, personal. Since I donāt share the cultural context, I wonāt assume the exact motivation. What matters more is that a year later, when they discover Zhang Lan is pregnant, itās the first time we see her fully present. Itās as if she wakes up from a long, dreamlike state. Interestingly, Wang Yiās first reaction isnāt focused on the pregnancy itself but on Zhang Lanās unexpected emotional shift. Her intensity confuses him, and as with all other major changes in his life, it scares him.
Thereās some debate about whether they shouldāve talked about the possibility of having a child beforehand or taken more precautions. But honestly, given the state they were in when they met, is it really surprising that the idea of a baby might not have even crossed their minds? What seems āobviousā to some people isnāt always obvious to others, especially for those living in dissociative or emotionally withdrawn states. And isnāt that exactly how it often goes in real life? All around the world, children are born to people who werenāt prepared, caught off guard by a reality they hadnāt anticipated. Whether it was ārightā or āwrongā is beside the point, the baby is here, and thatās what matters. The focus has to shift to what happens next.
By Year 23 AC, Zhang Lan and Wang Yi divorce. Nuonuo was around two years old by then, so they clearly tried to make things work for a while. We donāt know much about what their life looked like as a family, and we still donāt get any real insight into Zhang Lanās point of view. But based on what is shown, itās not hard to understand her frustration. She changed, he didnāt. Itās possible she ended up taking care of Nuonuo mostly on her own, effectively living as a single mom despite being married. That kind of dynamic can wear a person down.
That said, I donāt think she was supposed to āparentā Wang Yi. But once she had a shift in mindset, could it have helped to gently encourage him toward professional support? Maybe she tried and he wasnāt ready. Maybe she didnāt know how. Because we donāt see her attempt to truly understand or support him on that level, itās easy to frame her as the āvillain,ā but I donāt think itās that simple. Even if she had taken him to therapy, it would have required immense time, patience, and a total unlearning of the only survival strategies heās ever known. Therapy isnāt a quick fix, especially not for someone like him.
From Wang Yiās side, the divorce clearly disturbs him. As we've seen before, abrupt shifts in routine or environment arenāt just inconvenient, they can be physically and emotionally destabilizing. He likely depends on predictability to feel safe. Sudden change can trigger anxiety, panic, or shutdown. For someone who struggles to identify and regulate emotions, the emotional fallout from change can feel overwhelming or even paralyzing. He canāt always process or verbalize what heās feeling in the moment, and without tools or external support, even small changes can feel catastrophic. Thatās why he clings to Nuonuoās bunny after Zhang Lan leaves, just like a child would. Itās a regression to a comfort behavior from earlier stages of development.
But itās important to recognize why he struggles this way. Wang Yi was already silent for most of his life. He never developed speech, and when someone canāt or doesnāt speak, whether due to selective mutism or another condition, they miss out on key experiences: emotional expression, social negotiation, and the feedback loops that support emotional growth. Without verbal interaction, it becomes so much harder to name, process, or regulate feelings.
Emotional maturity doesnāt just happen. It usually requires modeling from caregivers, practice in safe social environments and support in understanding oneās own inner world. Without those things, a person may stay stuck in developmentally delayed ways of reacting, struggling with boundaries, engaging in black-and-white thinking, or withdrawing completely when overwhelmed.
And when a neurodivergent person is repeatedly misunderstood, dismissed, or punished for their struggles, the result is often the same: they shut down even more, stop trying to explain themselves, and rely on self-protective behaviors, like staying silent or acting like they donāt care. It can make them seem emotionally immature or detached, when in fact they may feel very deeply but have no safe way to show it.
Wang Yiās silence isnāt passive, itās protective. Itās the safest place heās known his whole life. So when Zhang Lan tries to push him out of that silence, even if it comes from a place of care or desperation, it shatters him. Heās left raw and vulnerable, because he doesnāt know another way to exist. And when someoneās only coping strategy is stripped away, it doesnāt create growth, it creates panic.
I think that if she isnāt happy, then yes, ending it is for the best. But if you love the person youāre with, wouldnāt you at least try to understand them a little? The truth is, Zhang Lan never really knew Wang Yi. In fact, they probably never truly knew each other. And they didnāt have to, not at first. Ironically, their bond as a couple was built on a connection that didnāt rely on deep understanding. But once she changed, what once wasnāt a problem became one.
And Iām glad she changed, otherwise, Nuonuoās childhood might have been a lot worse. Zhang Lan became a caring mother who gave her daughter warmth and love. None of them are villains here. Theyāre like real people who made mistakes and, sometimes, the wrong choices, āwrongā according to each of their perspectives.
Wang Yi couldnāt be a father, not because he didnāt want to be, but because he didnāt know how. People grow at different paces, and some carry issues so deeply rooted that even realizing something basic can take decades. Thatās just reality.
The heartbreaking part wasnāt Zhang Lan leaving Wang Yi. That was probably the right decision, she wasnāt happy, and forcing things wouldāve made them both miserable, which would have affected Nuonuo too. What was heartbreaking was Zhang Lan telling Nuonuo that her father was dead, denying both of them a chance to connect, something Wang Yi already struggled with.
His means werenāt perfect, but his brain works differently, he lives by an entirely different set of internal standards. In the scenes where he follows Nuonuo, he says, āI began to understand why my father observed more than participated when teaching me to butcher pigs.ā I think thatās his way of realizing that, like his own father couldnāt connect with him, heās now unable to connect with her. So all thatās left is observation.
Zhang Lan rejecting the plushie he brought for Nuonuo also broke my heart. Honestly, Iām 27, and Iād cherish anything my dad gave me, especially a plushie. But after telling Nuonuo that her father was dead, itās not like she could give her that gift without unraveling the story or pretending it was someone elseās gift.
In real life, what Zhang Lan said at the park could be extremely damaging to someone like Wang Yi. āSheās already an adult, and you picked that as her birthday present.[...] You donāt know a damn thing about her![...] Did you ever really care about her at all? Have you ever really understood her?[...] Itās fine, youāre already dead to her, anyway.ā But within the show, Zhang Lan had to serve as the catalyst for Wang Yiās development. This role unfortunately casts her in a āvillainā light, not because she is one, but because of how her actions serve the narrative. And to be fair, many people in real life act just like she did, some might grow from the fallout, like Wang Yi did, and others may not.
Wang Yi didnāt take it lightly. Remember when he went home, visibly in pain and frustrated? He says: āIt appeared to me that I really didnāt know anything about my daughter anymore. Not what she was thinking, nor what she wanted to do. Turns out there are some questions that can only be answered when theyāre answered out loud. At that moment, I felt the urge to open my mouth, but I still couldnāt manage to say anything.ā
He realizes that just when he thought he was starting to understand things, he isnāt. Itās disorienting and painful. And heās right, some questions can only be answered out loud. Verbalizing thoughts often reveals what we really think or feel. Until we speak it, we might not fully grasp it ourselves. Speaking something makes it real and invites understanding from others. But for people who struggle with self-expression, like Wang Yi, this is incredibly difficult. Verbalizing isnāt just expression; itās a tool for clarity, and itās one he doesnāt have.
Thatās why, in his own way, he tries to know Nuonuo through observation, following her, mimicking her. Itās not ideal, but itās what he can do.
Also, we need to remember that speaking and expressing yourself are two different things. Even if he started talking, he likely wouldnāt be able to communicate whatās in his mind clearly or comfortably. At 39 years old, after at least two decades of silence, itās unlikely heād regain expressive speech easily, if at all.
The same goes for writing. Iāve seen people ask, āDidnāt he ever think of writing down what he means?ā ā but that misses the real issue: he canāt express himself. Not verbally, not in writing, not even through drawing. He doesnāt know how to make himself understood, and sometimes, he doesn't even understand himself.
Is it really that hard to grasp?
The reason he writes in his diary is because itās something only he is supposed to see. Writing to someone else is entirely different. He does know basic gestures, but unfortunately, people often talk over his gestures or put words in his mouth, so theyāre not very effective.
Ironically, he canāt willingly express his emotions, but his facial expressions are very expressive. He didnāt seem like this in the past, but now he is. What changed? Many things. As time passed, he probably developed new coping mechanisms, and his desire to connect with Nuonuo only grew stronger. By following her, mimicking her actions, and doing other things we probably didnāt see, he naturally became more expressive over time. Itās still not a change that helps him communicate clearly, and itās mostly subconscious, but it shows that gradual change is, indeed, possible.
Also, and this may sound strange, itās actually very common for people with selective mutism to be talkative in their heads and keep a personal diary like his. These are just two of many coping strategies that help neurodivergent people organize their thoughts and maintain a sense of control and order.
Because his brain needs a strict sense of order to function, he clings to his rituals and actions. That can come across as controlling, even toward others. Thatās why heās so overprotective of Nuonuo, and why he sees Luo Li as a threat, she brings unpredictability, which makes it harder for him to process and increases his anxiety.
And yes, it should be obvious to us and to Nuonuo that heās the ācreepā she and Luo Li are talking about. But itās not obvious to him. Not even close. Heās never been taught how to āread the room.ā Thatās just one more way his childhood neglect left lasting damage. Had he been supported growing up, he couldāve developed into a functional adult. But in many ways, he didnāt, and thatās not his fault.
Could he have sought help later in life? Sure. But when you donāt even understand what emotions are, when you canāt tell what youāre feeling or whether your actions are problematic, you donāt have the foundation to seek help. Thatās what makes it so hard for him.
His acts of service, like protecting Nuonuo from afar, gifting Zhang Lan whisper flowers, or eating the squid so Nuonuo wouldnāt have to, show us that even if his methods arenāt perfect, his intentions are full of love. Whatever love means to him, he loved Zhang Lan, and he loves Nuonuo more than anything.
Iām so glad Nuonuo read his diary. He couldnāt have expressed those feelings directly if he tried; it likely wouldnāt have come across as genuine. But in his diary, writing just for himself, he could finally be honest. No pressure. No fear. Just the truth. Thatās why what she read felt so real. It wasnāt meant for anyone else to see.
Nuonuo didnāt just bring joy into his life, she gave him a second chance at experiencing the basic things he missed as a child and teenager. Through her, he learned things that should have come naturally but didnāt, simply because no one showed him.
Iāve seen people online say Ghostblade is hilarious, an āedgy middle-aged boy failure.ā And yeah, I get that a lot of it is said in jest, I laugh too, sometimes, of course we're allowed to. But honestly, I donāt find him funny. Yes, some scenes with Nuonuo are cute or awkward in a charming way. But the intentional exaggeration, despite funny, also feels unsettling, a direct contrast to the loneliness and pain underneath. It makes it less funny and more melancholic to me.
Sure, heās got cute things about him, but heās also deeply traumatized, and to me, trauma isnāt cute. I see fans treating his behaviors as endearing quirks when, in reality, heās a product of lifelong neglect, and thatās exactly part of the showās critique. But again, everyone is entitled to their interpretation. Some hate him and think he deserves to die alone. Youāre free to think that too. I just, personally, disagree with treating him either like a baby or a monster, the extremes.
Iām not saying heās excused for destroying other peopleās lives just because he doesnāt know better. He still has to face the consequences of his actions. And by āface the consequences,ā I mean emotionally dealing with the weight of what heās done once he chooses to confront it, itās a kind of self-inflicted punishment. Some people might think he deserves to be punished directly, but thatās not the point here. The goal isnāt to frame or absolve him, but to explain why he does what he does, regardless of whether those actions are seen as good or bad.
The very idea of āgoodā and ābadā is already quite arbitrary; neurodivergent or not, everyone is different and will have their own opinion about what those terms mean. In other words, Wang Yi isnāt excused for doing harmful things, but he absolutely has the right to be human and make mistakes, like all other characters do. All of them are very realistic and relatable in one way or another.
Itās really sad that his intentions arenāt bad, yet they sometimes lead to actions that are irreversibly destructive. Talk about realistic...
I wish heād go to therapy. I love him so much. It breaks my heart.
To be quite frank, all characters could benefit from some therapy.
Ghostblade is THE character of all time. He has no hobbies. He spends his entire free time stalking his daughter. He had no tragic reason for becoming an assassin and his job doesn't bother him in the slightest, he just likes people shutting up because he's autistic. He fell in love at first sight. He manages to be a boyfailure despite being a middle aged man. His main method of contacting his boss is via phone call even though he is mute. He doesn't turn the lights on in his own home. He still thinks the name "ghostblade" is the coolest. He's a trained assassin but gets noticed repeatedly by his citizen daughter. He never once thought to send her a letter. His wife left him for reasons totally unrelated to his job as a killer. He's incredibly hot.
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: åē„ | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Flins (Genshin Impact)
Additional Tags: Fae Flins (Genshin Impact), Creepy Flins (Genshin Impact), My First Fanfic, fae legends, how do I tag this?, beta'ed by my one and only sister, inspired by Flins's teaser, and also a post about fae culture
Summary:
A hand extended, a name requested. Yet legends whisper of not giving nor taking.
Or: What happens when a young lady who grew up hearing warnings about the Fae actually bumps into one?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming