just a little gob

my phone isn’t charging even though i plugged her innnnn dramatic ass bitch. YOUR PUSSY IS FILLED! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT

i see now that i shouldn’t have made this post on tumblr. specifically.

Finally, I can stop thinking about Sherlock when I plug in my phone charger.

I hate everyone in this post.

real love is spitting in each other’s mouths

Let's do it the old fashioned way. Spread it far and wide.

crabs are so gentle, they can be so kind. their claws? precise little things, so careful in the sand, so careful with food. they do what they must to live and wave their claws to express their joy to the world for giving so much to them, for giving such kindness to these creatures known as crabs. please be gentle to crabs

i was on. a new sleep medication last night

fun thing about herding and/or generally neurotic breeds: they are really good at following rules you have instituted, but they will also make their own Dog Rules they will follow stringently whether or not you like it

despite never being reprimanded for getting sick if my dog throws up she will ‘tattle’ on herself and run over to me, show me the throw up, then hide and start shaking uncontrollably. nobody taught her to do this. she has decided that throwing up is a punishable offense until the end of time

my dog has decided that it’s solely on her shoulders to ensure there is peace in my house…if the cats fight she stands between them to ‘break it up’ and/or herds them away, if my rats have an argument she goes to the cage door and barks until they stop. not sure why she has decided she must carry the weight of the world but she has

weirdest part of being an adult is the fact that you can put off watching a movie for nearly a decade and barely notice