harroooold

The last few days have been rocky to put it inappropriately but I literally don’t know what other way to describe it without getting too deeply into things or over sharing

Anyone who knows me knows that my family situation is not great, and over the past few months my online situation also cropped up to be not great, so the night before last was not good

I’m honestly just really tired. I still don’t feel great about all what happened and I probably won’t ever feel great about it for the rest of my life. I know I hurt people by doing this. I know I can say sorry all I want but if people don’t want to accept it or find it properly worthy of an apology, then that means it means nothing, and makes it seem like I’m saying it just to say it.

I promise I’m not. I’m sorry, and there’s nothing I can do now to take back what I’ve done to hurt people. Unless there’s anything they even want me to say or do, there is nothing I can say or do.

I will let everyone know I’m not with my family anymore, and I’ve been distancing myself from online spaces pretty much entirely for the past few months, which is part of why you might have been seeing me less and less.

You might have also noticed if you shared a bunch of servers with me that I left those as well. This was from a different unrelated incident, but it is what started me on this downward spiral of not thinking right.

Note: I didn’t expect anyone to notice or say anything about me leaving the servers, I had genuinely tried to do this for my own mental health and it was just meant to be a short break from everything. That was it. I had been planning to come back to the servers one by one once I felt that I was in a better headspace and started feeling better, and was just hanging around friends and websites at large to keep myself connected and also sane from what was going on outside.

To clarify what it was that pushed me to do this: Twitter. Dont go on there. Lesson learned. If there’s going to be accusations about someone, it might be better to let the actual victims come forward and say something rather than trying to speak for them like they can’t say anything for themselves.

Ok I think I’ve made this post long enough. I genuinely have no idea how long I’ve been at this and I’ve said way more than I need to but I also think I’ve said all I need to. If anyone wants to reach out, feel free; Im feeling better now, but I also don’t really feel comfortable coming forward and saying something anymore because last time I did that was pretty much a disaster. lol.

But for the time being I’m still here. I’m free now, somewhat, though I don’t know exactly what that means for me. I do still want to be active online, but returning to full activity will be a Very Slow drip feeding process and whatever spaces I was in before I Probably will not be returning to (I say probably because not all of them were bad. It was just largely an overreaction on my part but given how much damage I might have done I might not even be welcome back and if I’m not that’s probably a good thing wether it just be through conflict of interest or just because people genuinely Do Not want to talk to me anymore. I can understand either way)

My father is very sick and he urgently needs surgery.

Every day I watch him grow weaker while we struggle to provide the medicine, care, and food he needs. We are living in very harsh conditions, and getting the treatment he urgently needs has become extremely difficult.

As his son, it breaks my heart to see him suffer while I feel so helpless.

Please donate to help my father and my family, and share this post.

Your support could make the difference for my father’s surgery and recovery.

Recent medical tests and a neck ultrasound showed that I have thyroiditis, a serious condition that needs treatment and regular medical care.

The doctors warned me clearly: I need treatment now, or I may have to undergo surgery to remove my thyroid.

I am scared of reaching that stage.

I cannot face this alone.

I am also responsible for caring for my five children who depend on me every day.

And the hardest part... the last donation to my campaign was 3 days ago, and it feels like time is slowly running out for me.

But it is not impossible.

A few small donations could help me get the treatment I urgently need and avoid surgery.

Please do not scroll past this.

Donate now and share this post. Every moment matters.

Recent medical tests and a neck ultrasound showed that I have thyroiditis, a serious condition that needs treatment and regular medical care.

The doctors warned me clearly: I need treatment now, or I may have to undergo surgery to remove my thyroid.

I am scared of reaching that stage.

I cannot face this alone.

I am also responsible for caring for my five children who depend on me every day.

And the hardest part... the last donation to my campaign was 3 days ago, and it feels like time is slowly running out for me.

But it is not impossible.

A few small donations could help me get the treatment I urgently need and avoid surgery.

Please do not scroll past this.

Donate now and share this post. Every moment matters.

Please help us for their future. Please don't leave us alone and donate, even a little.

Please share our daily suffering.

Please don't leave us to face these difficulties alone. Ease our suffering during these days. Donate for my children and share our story as widely as possible. Please.

My account has been verified by

Gaza Verified ✅

✅️Vetted by@gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #736 )✅️

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Please help us for their future. Please don't leave us alone and donate, even a little.

Please share our daily suffering.

Please don't leave us to face these difficulties alone. Ease our suffering during these days. Donate for my children and share our story as widely as possible. Please.

My account has been verified by

Gaza Verified ✅

✅️Vetted by@gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #736 )✅️

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@writerqueenofjewels

It begins with a simple question that breaks my heart every morning:

“Dad, will we eat today?”

I look into their small faces and try to smile, even though I don’t have a clear answer.

The war did not only take our home, it took our safety, my work, and even the simplest things children deserve.

My children once dreamed of school, books, and notebooks.

Today, their biggest dream is a warm meal and a night that passes without fear.

I try to be strong in front of them, but the truth is that I feel helpless when I cannot provide them with food or help them continue their education.

I am not asking for much…

All I want is a chance to feed my children and help them keep learning, so their childhood is not lost between war and need.

If my words reach you, please know that your help could mean a meal for a hungry child or a book for a child who still dreams of the future.

Every act of kindness, no matter how small, can make a real difference in my children’s lives.

This is Rami. A young child whose life changed because of the war in Gaza.

Instead of playing with toys and going to school, Rami is now lying in a hospital bed, fighting pain and hoping for a chance to heal. His small body is tired, but his eyes are still full of hope.

Rami needs help. Your kindness and support, no matter how small, could help him receive the treatment he needs.

Rami and his family need help.🙏❤️

Please help Rami and share his story. Every donation can make a difference. 🤍

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #737 )✅️

I am going through a very difficult time. Recent medical tests and a neck ultrasound showed that I have thyroiditis, a serious condition that requires regular treatment and medical follow-up.

My doctor warned me that if I cannot afford the medication and follow the treatment, I may be forced to undergo surgery to remove my thyroid. This is terrifying, and I desperately want to avoid reaching that stage.

Sadly, we cannot afford my treatment or even my child’s medical care. Every day is a struggle, and I feel helpless watching my health and my child’s well-being at risk.

Today, you are my last hope, my miracle. Any support, no matter how small, or even sharing this campaign, could make the difference between getting the treatment we desperately need and facing a life threatening situation. Please Donate Now

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading, sharing, or helping. Your kindness could save our lives.

Vetted by @gazavetters #731

Art and other rewards being offered for those who have proof of donation (such as a screenshot of receipt, probably with personal information blacked out) to the well-known vetting lists and a few other. I have collected an up-to-date list here. There is also links to other lists: for such as flowerpawarts's spreadsheet, you should make sure they accept the vetting list or are not just funding for a specific family

💬 2  🔁 81  ❤️ 27 · Archival link: Donation incentives for the big two lists and mentions of others · @/gazavetters vetted list Vetted list

I was a dancer. I was a professional dancer. I still am a dancer, if not to the capacity I once was. I started dancing when I was 2ish, and became too disabled to continue anything professionally at 21-22. Most of my professional work was in either classical or contemporary ballet, and my own choreography was often a fusion of contemporary ballet and hip-hop.

Gender determines a LOT in ballet, to a degree that no other “formal” dance style really does outside “Ballroom” (not the queer kind) styles such as tango, waltz, etc. generally, only women learn to go en pointe, and men are trained from young ages to partner with ballerinas and be an accentuation, being able to support all sorts of lifts, holds, turns, etc. Additionally, men are viewed as a rare resource for this, and well-trained/competent ones are often scrambled after outside of major dance hubs.

What this meant as a homeschooled Black “boy” growing up in early 2000s Montana, a state that was over 90% white and 0.2% Black, was that I was often not only the only Black person around, but that I was also often the only “boy” my age around as well. As I got older and spent more time in the dance studio each year, it meant more and more time in a space for which I was, quite literally, being Trained To Be Male despite doing something perceived by the outside world at large as extremely feminine or “for faggots”.

So I also ended up with a reflexive aversion to the idea of being anything but a straight man, because it would “prove people right”. I started having Thoughts about being Not A Guy as a teen but suppressed them hard, because of how much of the main driving force in my life depended on Being A Guy.

But thinking now of being able to have been a girl from the jump, to not have been simultaneously isolated and singled out and expected more from my whole life, thinking of how much more, dance-wise, I could’ve had access to. Even if I had ended up only being mediocre or average by women’s standards, I might’ve had a life where I had actual friends, where I wasn’t treated as a pariah, where I wouldn’t have to fight to be included like everyone else naturally was.