Hello my name is Clarice

Just a friendly reminder that I would never have thought it was possible to go back and remake my previous work, uncovering lost art and forgotten gems along the way, if you hadn’t emboldened me. Red is about to be mine again, but it has always been ours. Tonight we begin again. Red (my version) is out now.

https://taylor.lnk.to/redtaylorsversion

I promised my firstborn to a witch and really don’t want to make good on the deal

Well you can have them FOR me if it’s that big a deal to you

I don’t think I could get a good price for em on the black market

Fight me Helen

I can’t be a better parent than Angelina Jolie so why even bother

That’s my nindo. My ninja way.

I literally JUST sat down

Recite “The Highway Man” from Over the Garden Wall

Kids? What are those? I don’t understand. What are these youOH GRAVY WHAT IS THAT!?

Oohhh no, I’ve seen Disney movies, I know what happens to mothers

Centipedes? In my vagina?

*Angrily* YOU SEE!? This is just like that episode of Spongebob! *insert the plot of any episode of Spongebob in excruciating detail*

I heard they’re.. you know.. itchy. Like, as soon as you have a kid. Just totally itchy. Everything.

I’m an Aries

Well, we already got an even number so.. *shrug*

I must first capture the Avatar to regain my honor

I’m allergic

That’s just what the communists want!

I’ve been dead for seven years

Santa didn’t bring me one last Christmas, so I guess it’s no meant to be

I’m afraid they’ll have bad taste in memes

It would be unfair to my cat

I’m chaotic neutral

*long farting noise lasting at least 45 seconds*

Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.

Various directors: Superheroes are all sexy heterosexual white rich kids who are geniuses and—