come stand by me

as the french say, merci goku

>#I love how this gag would be funny at any point since the third century BCE

theyre saying you have to go to work again tomorrow even though you just went today

a heatwave is a type of ancient curse

i can be trusted around the box of ice cream sandwiches in your freezer

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

Remember in 2010 when Taio Cruz said "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes"? I appreciated his restraint. You can't just throw your hands up in the air whenever. There's a time and a place, and that time was 2010, and the place was the club.

ill be like “ive had it” and two seconds later i will start enduring

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.