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@paperlightboy

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The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.
And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and
His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.
However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.
That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.
yuh i was there, that's how it happened
a complicated man...
"Write character relationships that are normal" WRONG ☝ CODEPENDENCY BEAM 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥
*sits up in bed, stretches, yawns* it’s another beautiful, glorious day full of opportunity a- *ominous bell toll and i am instantly replaced with a 10,000-year-old mummy sitting in the exact same pose*
Starting a collection

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*She bought the pin HERE btw
Are we going to ignore “My husband’s wife”???!!!
Item: strategically arranged garlic suit
In ‘Life Forms,’ Janny Baek Imagines a Speculative Landscape

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Context for this is a German learning app I've been using but I really love the picture it paints outside of that. 9,951 genders.
i guess what i would like to say is that many people have gotten too comfy with the "toilet-stealing soldier" memes.
yes, poverty is a big issue in russia. no, they did not steal those toilets and washing machines to take them back home to mama and use them. they stole them to sell them – and let's be real, most of the loot probably went to the higher-ranking officers.
they are not shooting down endangered animals because they're starving. they did not loot a fucking ketchup factory back in november because there is a shortage of ketchup in russia.
they are doing it because they are here, and there is nobody to stop them.
they are doing it because for all their "ukraine is russia" talk, they know very damn well that a killed animal or a destroyed historical site won't be their loss.
they are doing it because they were told, "you can do any evil you can conceive of, without consequence," and the sad truth is, many people don't need to be told that twice, and that has very little to do with poverty or fear of being imprisoned.
i hate when americans refer to a white guy as "caucasian" bro his ass is NOT from the caucasus ❌️
Everyone is so weird about people who cry easily. Fellas, is it evil and manipulative to *checks notes* have an involuntary stress response?
actually a coworker of mine said something interesting about this. I was saying that I truly can’t help how easily I cry, and I hate when people assume I do it on purpose.
and he paused for a second and then said, “when you’ve been taught from a young age that crying is weak and you should train yourself never to cry for any reason, you assume that everyone else has trained themselves too, so anyone who cries has to be doing it on purpose. it took me a long time to realize that wasn’t true.”
listen we’re never gonna run out of ways the patriarchy hurts all of us.
google show me this guy wet and whimpering

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Ice cold takes from a Transgender Woman:
Men are not inherently Evil
Everyone has the capacity for evil
Transgender Men are men
Transgender Women are women
Excluding Cisgender Men from your spaces requires Transgender Men to out themselves if they want to engage (Same for Women)
Anyone can be Non-Binary, there is no "look" or requirement
Non-binary masculine presenting people should be welcome in queer spaces, many are just treated as men and predators
Non-binary feminine presenting people should be welcome in queer spaces without being seen as "Woman-Lite"
Edited the wording on the first point because too many terfs keep thinking I'm their friend.
btw it is sexy and cool to uplift and admire people who have skills you wish you had without using their ability as a stick to beat yourself with. even and especially if you are jealous of them.