Call Me Thug-Alot-Bear

this one’s a keeper

I have queued this since June 19th

Me as a husband

I told this joke at work then had to explain “yeet” to my coworkers, so.

One time a guy and I were having an argument and he pulled a knife on me, and because I’m a dumbass idiot my response was to take out MY knife and go “what now, genius?” And what happened next was we just stood there for ten straight minutes not moving because niether of us wanted to put the knife down first and basically that’s our entire international situation regarding nuclear weapons

What happened afterwards?

My mom showed up

Reblog to have God come down and give our world leaders a stern talking to.

Lmbo 😭

😂😂😂

i love when professors try to use modern slang to relate to students. my professor referred to the theater of pompey as “the place where caesar got vibe checked by a bunch of senators” and i lost it. 

i got a college degree and the thing i’m most proud of producing in the process is a full academic presentation about what makes a himbo

i’ll get over it i just gotta be dramatic first

i love that this is just one of a number of posts that have gone around in the last few days tacitly acknowledging that you need to feel your feelings in order to move through them

they say depressed people arent productive well i just doubled the size of my minecraft farm so hows this dick taste fuckers

the fact that a cat considers “sit in the same room ignoring each other” to be an acceptable social activity and not an insult is great for me because that’s how i like to socialise

generallisimo cicierega

comrade neil

what if there were professional text post critics

@burstofhope the Christmas tiger is watching

Okay fine this is the ONE Christmas thing I will reblog before Thanksgiving BUT THAT’S IT

SASHA’S BACK ON MY DASH!

Y’all better behave, you have two months

ALL HAIL SANTA CLAWS