YOU ARE THE REASON
Kaledo Art
Acquired Stardust
occasionally subtle
JVL
wallacepolsom
Three Goblin Art
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KIROKAZE
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
ellievsbear
if i look back, i am lost
pixel skylines
Show & Tell
roma★
Peter Solarz
trying on a metaphor
Cosmic Funnies
Keni
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@illest-rat
at my local thrift warehouse where nothing’s priced and you make an offer on all the stuff you find. well i told the person at the register i’m on a budget and didn’t know if i could afford a rug i wanted and asked what they’d take for it and without missing even half a beat they said “how about a cup of blood?” then they started hopping up and down like a cheerleader and said “cup! of! blood!”
we settled on seventeen dollars cash.
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in the morning, i get on tumblr and reblog beautiful images, but by the evening i devolve into madness
I’m in a pretty terrible mood. Tell me some funny stories, you guys!
Another story, same restaurant. Most of the time, I wasn’t actually a server, I was the dishwasher (which for those of you who have never worked in a full service restaurant, means that I was the dishwasher, busboy, prep cook, fill-in line cook, bar back, janitor, and once, I shit you not, electrician).
My best friend at the time was working with me, and we were they type who could finish each other’s sentences, and we enjoyed messing with everyone’s heads by carrying on conversations while we were not in the same place. Like, I’d be at the sink, he’d be bussing tables, and we’d just carry on our half of the conversation, pausing to fill in the gaps where the other would respond… and then turn around and reply to a response that we could not, in fact, hear, but knew what would be said. One waitress actually hung by the kitchen door to verify that we were, in fact, having one conversation. We were known as Thing 1 and Thing 2.
This particular story takes place during a music festival where they blocked off a huge part of downtown and put literal concert stages in the street. We were expecting a really busy night, and had a full staff… and of course, nobody showed up. They start sending people home, including me.
I decide not to go straight home… I futz around for a bit, and realise that hey, I’m kinda hungry, and I don’t actually have much food at home, nor a whole lot of money. But if I go back to work, I can order something and charge it against my next cheque.
Meanwhile, back at work, the entire city of Birmingham has showed up at the same time. They’re slammed, and regretting sending people home. The manager tried calling me, but I wasn’t home. So he turns to Thing 2 and says “Hey, can’t reach Thing 1 at home. Do you know how to get hold of him?”
Now, Thing 2 is kind of irritated at being asked how to contact a person who isn’t home in the days before cellphones, so in complete sarcasm, he puts his fingers to his temples, acts like he’s sending a telepathic transmission, and says “He’ll be here in five minutes.” The manager takes it as the sarcasm it was intended to be… for exactly four minutes and forty-five seconds, when I walk in the door. I could see from a block away that the place was slammed, and I don’t even need to be told that I’m going Back to Work.
The hostess just dropped her jaw and was like “HOLY SHIT HE REALLY DID IT.” It’s not hard to guess reasonably close to what happened, so I just keep a straight face and say “Yep.” and walk back and get to work.
oh my god
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you want to be mommy’s adjective noun, don’t you, pet name? you want to verb and verb for mommy like a good gender
you want to be mommy's weird potato, don't you, Brian? you want to skip and somersault like a good jester
got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?
This is why you must take great care not to get too absorbed in your subject when birding in Florida.
I spent the month before my wedding (it was last saturday!) working on this huge angelgotchi tapestry to display at our reception! Really pleased with how it came out <3
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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these are getting weird
there's this guy who works at the convenience store next to my job and every time i come in he tries to upsell me. i'll get a gatorade and he'll say "that's it...? isn't it snacktime?" i'll get a snack and he'll say "just that? don't you want more?"
one time i got a huge pile of stuff and he STILL said it and i said "dude, you would not be satisfied with all the riches of heaven!!" and he said "i don't even get a commission. i just love doing this."
and then i couldnt come in for a while and then i came in again today for just a charger. and i said "that's it today" with a smile. and he looked at me with a gleam in his eye and said "no it isn't. you'll be back later. you'll have to get thirsty eventually, won't you?" with this conniving smile that made me realize i WAS thirsty. i'm out of my depth here. help
OP I think that might be the Devil
a convo in the replies of a post where one of them is hidden because i blocked them and the other one makes a comment that i cant possibly understand due to how out of context it is is funny to me every single time
Some people are truly insufferable
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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yeah yeah rainbow capitalism is bad and whatever but like. when I was a child, being pro gay was not the popular or lucrative choice. I'm happy that times have changed.
I miss rainbow capitalism. I do. I miss when it felt like public opinion was still pro gay. I understand it was always an empty gesture, but it mattered in a sense of knowing how socially acceptable being queer is. If that makes sense.
The thing I dislike about alt histories where real life monarchs have been made both gay and unproblematic is that it seems to imply that gay monarchs have not existed in history but if they did they would be cool. Which isn’t true. They have existed and they were just as bad as straight people. And I think it is disrespectful to real queer history to pretend that queer people have never been absolute bastards
