Don't let me float away

fixed a problem at work that i vaguely saw a manager fix once and i did it faster which means that i get to take his skin i get to take his skin i get to take his skin i get to take his skin i get to take his skin i get to take his skin

Kinda crazy how my first cellphone didn't have a camera or internet and 17 years later this thing knows more about me than I do and gives people brand new mental ilnesses.

in recent events of that zoo losing the clouded leopard, it reminded me of the time i went to a large petting zoo and there was a free roaming little black sheep. cutest little guy i ever saw, soi went to the zookeeper nearby and said ‘i think its really cute how you have a sheep thats allowed to just walk around. ‘ then the zookeepers eyes widened and he grabbed his walky talky and ran 

this whole “never repeat outfits” shit is not working for me. i get attached to one oversized sweater and that’s all you’ll see me in for a week

Always in a constant state of "hmm maybe I wasn't as normal in that conversation as I thought I was"

Find me in 6 months when I learn this again, because I'm also a dumb bitch

anxiety is so weird like why is my mental illness in my stomach

Your stomach is connected to the mental illness glob with lots of tiny soggy strings.

A fruit fly is a little messenger of god born to fly into your mouth and deliver 1 calory to you