I Dip Pizza in Ranch but I Won't Eat a Pickle Rd. @bananaquilava - Tumblr Blog

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birdonahotdog

contrary to social media developers’ beliefs i have literally never once wanted to see posts in anything other than chronological order

jasper-rolls

i love tool assisted speedruns

yugirimistwalker

The trolley is about to run over all sentient life in the galaxy. You cannot switch the tracks, but you can still save everyone’s lives by pulling one of three levers, all of which involve sacrificing yourself. The red lever will destroy all trolleys, but will also kill you as well as all public transportation across the galaxy. The blue lever will merge your own consciousness with all trolleys, allowing you to control them and stop the trolley from running everyone over. The green lever will use your body as a catalyst to synthesize organic life and public transportation together - organic life will no longer be stuck in the cycle of creating public transportation that rebels against its creators, and both forms of life will finally be free.

whirligig-girl

gay-mormon-wizard

today I used the phrase "breasting boobily" in casual real life conversation and everyone was shocked asking how I came up with that and I had to explain it. ive been at the devil's sacrament so long that I forgot he wasn't god

lets-burn-down-the-post-office

“I’ve been at the devil’s sacrament so long I forgot he wasn’t god” is getting added to the tumblr line book

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unthrifty--loveliness-deactivat

Just so we’re clear, if I point out that you did something racist, that’s not the same as me thinking you’re irremediably terrible. You did a racist thing.

unthrifty--loveliness-deactivat

You think you don’t do racist things, homophobic things, etc? You do. I caught myself in fat phobic and homophobic lines of thinking/speech just this morning. I’m fucking gay married. Nothing disqualifies you from acting in a way that reflects the society you exist in. We are obliged to fight it. Why not fight it in honesty and with camaraderie?

#politics

tpwrtrmnky

the real answer to almost every "does [identity A] belong in [identity B] spaces" question is actually just "these spaces are informal social groups and if you're cool you can hang, don't worry about it"

tpwrtrmnky

You can be Homer Simpson at the lesbian bar. It's fine. Don't worry about it.

lizardlicks

not without those fire exits I'm not. have fun in your death trap, ladies

mrsandman42069

bruzum

wenlokholmes

sorry, prev, your tags are too true to be silenced

depsidase

bees-with-swords

"Do you ever dream of land?" The whale asks the tuna.

"No." Says the tuna, "Do you?"

"I have never seen it." Says the whale, "but deep in my body, I remember it."

"Why do you care," says the tuna, "if you will never see it."

"There are bones in my body built to walk through the forests and the mountains." Says the whale.

"They will disappear." Says the tuna, "one day, your body will forget the forests and the mountains."

"Maybe I don't want to forget," Says the whale, "The forests were once my home."

"I have seen the forests." Whispers the salmon, almost to itself.

"Tell me what you have seen," says the whale.

"The forests spawned me." Says the salmon. "They sent me to the ocean to grow. When I am fat with the bounty of the ocean, I will bring it home."

"Why would the forests seek the bounty of the oceans?" Asks the whale. "They have bounty of their own."

"You forget," says the salmon, "That the oceans were once their home."

hearnoweevil

Last year I finally had an excuse to illustrate this simple little Tumblr story I've had bookmarked forever for class.

I hope you like it :]

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dreamilypurpleoutcast

#politics

scorpio-system

AAA video game publisher voice: "Look. The goose layed a golden egg, and that's nice! Everyone loved that egg. But keeping the golden goose means paying for bird feed and I don't want to, so I killed the goose."

vanshira

#‘that goose keeps laying golden eggs. that’s stagnation. I’m going to kill it and go look for a goose that lays diamond eggs’#‘that goose normally lays golden eggs but this time it laid a silver egg. I’m going to kill it because even though I can still make good#money with that it’s not as good as a golden egg’#‘that golden egg laying goose only lays an egg once a day instead of constantly shitting them out. I don’t care that golden eggs take time#if they’re not constant the goose is worthless to me’

@thebaldursmouthgazette y u leave all the good stuff in the tags

i am a SUCKER for characters who start out as copies of other characters but eventually become their own people, their own identities, completely different from who they once reflected

#one of these days I'll actually do something with these superhero ocs in my head

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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estrogenpatchnotes

So many ads are just “we at corporation care about our customers which is why we [thing we are legally obligated to do]”

estrogenpatchnotes

I think about this so much more after working at a call center and being told “you need to not say outage unless we actually have a confirmed outage because we legally have to reimburse people if we fail to provide service” and then seeing that in ads as a really cool and nice thing the company does instead of something they’re forced to

#politics #yeah…

ladyofthebookcase

aw mannnn

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I Dip Pizza in Ranch but I Won't Eat a Pickle Rd.