I Dip Pizza in Ranch but I Won't Eat a Pickle Rd.

trying to interrogate the last boy that went to jupiter to get more stupider, but he bit down on an estradiol like a fucking cyanide capsule and I didn't get anything from her!

Not all heroes wear capes, sometimes they publish questionable card games

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

[Image description The background for Blues Clues with Benoit Blanc from Knives Out]

Now I’m naht puhticularly familiuh with how everything wurks around heeuh, but I- I do buhlieve we just gawht a lettuh… wonduh who it’s from…

Not gonna lie, as much as I want to be helpful and comprehensible, I am very proud of provoking that reaction image.

THIS WAS LIFE-CHANGING INFORMATION FOR ME! I USE THIS TRUCK ALMOST DAILY WHEN TALKING TO INTERNATIONAL PARK VISITORS ABOUT HIKES AND DRIVING DIRECTION. LITERALLY HUGE FOR ME.

"i don't know.. that's scary.." has become such a core part of my vocabulary that I forget people will not immediately understand that I'm making a reference when i say that

You know how we call things "pseudoscience"... the media analysis that's being done on twitter and tumblr should be pseudohumanities

if i couldn't have any of the obvious first choice superpowers i would want my power to be the power of i can go anywhere and its not a problem. the way this power would work is that as long as im peaceful and respectful i can go anywhere and nobody will see it as weird or see me as a target for hostility. i can walk into a cool house to politely peep the decor or walk into a tall office building to politely peep the decor or walk around a city at night alone to politely peep the decor or walk into a strange facility to politely peep the decor or walk onto a plane and ride the plane to its destination and then walk around there to politely peep the decor and its fine as long as im chill. no need to make me faster or anything i can just walk at a normal pace. its good for the soul.

first choice superpower is of course to be the thing from The Thing except im friendly and my superhero name is Mystery Meat

call that attending an Executive Function