flung out of space

mutual on my left trying to get pregnant. mutual on my right starts high school next year. and me i have done some of the dishes

so pro-abortion i forget people try to get pregnant on purpose

Reblogging in honor of the first day of baseball season.

She's ghostin you but shes goblin me

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he wasn’t even there to be a contestant he joined the crew as a CHINESE TEACHER but the directors noticed his good looks and begged him to compete. poor guy made it to the finals and if he had been one of the winners he would have been contractually forced to be in a boy band whether he wanted to or not

this is the closest any human being has ever come to actually being sold to One Direction

if christopher nolan was really the visionary and ground-breaking director everyone claims he is he would have cast ben affleck as penelope

whole foods employee catches me stealing valuable artichoke water and tries to apprehend me but i quickly jump through one of his gauges and escape

I need my weird alone time or I will explode

ublock origin is not enough i need advertisers to feel physical pain

I am always birdposting in my mind

recently saw ppl discuss whether they put their medicines in a kitchen cabinet or a bathroom cabinet and i was shocked by the fact that many ppl said kitchen cabinet. so now i need you to reblog this and say where you keep yours

the funnest part of reading books is telling people the plot like its hot gossip