I believe in negotiating prices. If something doesn’t take as long as I anticipated it would, we can renegotiate the final price.
Message me if you’re interested!
Ko-fi

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@iinmysights-main
I believe in negotiating prices. If something doesn’t take as long as I anticipated it would, we can renegotiate the final price.
Message me if you’re interested!
Ko-fi

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My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.
do they smoke weed?
Yes, actually.
you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette?
It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)
They don’t look like they smoke weed.
Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad.
Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.
I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING
Well that escalated quickly……
What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*
haha oh my god
who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.
love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”.
and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”.
“the goo pile that is now your body”
i’m dying over here, jesus
please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun.
*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot… *leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*
this dude playin omg
Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you. I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.* Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*
why be radically exclusionary abt queerness when you could be radically inclusionary instead. let's inflate the numbers. let's become the majority. the sky's the limit
"we can't let just ANYONE call themselves queer!!" what are you talking about. I'm steepling my fingers and gleefully cackling every time we Get Another One and you should be too. lock in.
never underestimate how much a "☝️" can add to a sentence
i just rescued a pill bug they’re gonna reward me with a million pill bucks i’m gonna be a fucking pillionaire
💵🫲}([[[[[)
I JUST MADE ONE PILLION DOLLARS

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dont worry baby girl. You will find emo men. And you will make yaoi of them
dam…….. that website “you feel like shit” (it’s like a questionnaire / troubleshooting guide for when you feel like shit) really works………………….. im not even all the way thru it and i even half-assed a lot of the suggestions and i already feel loads better
for some reason, with this website, i was able to complete small tasks ive been fruitlessly bugging myself to do for weeks??
anyway, i feel almost good now :^)
im glad this got some notes!!!! i hope it helps y’all find some measure of peace or comfort <3
This is astonishing. I’m going to use and save.
Home Skillet made one heck of a knife there
HELL YEAH DON!
This a fella you're familiar with or are we just cheering him on for the awesome knife?
Know of him from knife stuff
Looks like he's got a well earned reputation there then.
Oh yeah he's a powerhouse
every day is a struggle
everyone who interacts with a post on my blog is entered into a secret lottery wherein a winner is randomly chosen for me to go thru their blog for a minute or two. thanks for playing, everyone

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Here’s Desmond, an American toad who lives in my friend’s yard.
"you are annoying about x & y" okay. this is the being annoying website.
yeah and they’re good games so like??? i will speak
wait
Story time: In which my coworkers thought I was cheating on my partner…with my partner
Ok so B and I are very tactile people. We mostly work from home, spend 90% of our days together, and touch each other all the time in a deeply habitual way.
We also work in the same industry, which means sometimes we go to the same in-person trainings/conferences/events.
We were at one such event yesterday and while a couple folks in attendance knew we were married to each other, most did not. Though, importantly, they did know that we each were married. We both wear rings. We regularly mention our spouses.
So, we arrived together and walked holding hands through the parking lot and, yes, had a smooch while alone in the elevator before we had to be on our professional best behavior (he was wearing a suit, kissing was unavoidable).
When the doors opened we were still a bit close together and got some looks. But I didn’t really clock them until later. We also checked in with each other a couple times through the evening and stepped out for a quiet moment here and there, which some people likely noticed.
So toward the end of the night, I was chatting with some peers and B came to stand next to me with some of his peers and without thinking I reached over to pull a bit of debris out of his hair and without pausing in his conversation, he reached over to squeeze the back of my neck and run his knuckles down my shoulder/arm in thanks.
There was a sudden lull in the conversation and I realized multiple people were looking at us with obvious discomfort. I rewound the last few seconds, considered some earlier indicators, and then hastily said, “we’re married! To each other! He’s my partner!”
And everyone let out a relieved exhale, had a laugh about it, and we continued on.
Whoops.
My parents worked in the same building but different divisions of a major tech firm back in the day. This exact scenario happened to them at least twice a year.
The REALLY funny one was that my mom decided to take illustration classes with me at the Denver Botanical Gardens while I was getting my master's of illustration there.
Now, I look more like my Dad's side of the family but despite having the same surname, arriving and leaving together, sitting next to each other, and me calling her "Mom" multiple times per class, it somehow took one of my professors three years and seeing us share a plate of fries to realize we might be related.
The way she decided to broach the subject though, was to wait until she and my mom were alone in a quiet corner and gently ask "So how long has [Gallus] been your daughter?"
...Thing is,
I'd come out to my family as Nonbinary to my family earlier that week and gave them permission to bring friends and acquaintances up to speed and my mom was DETERMINED that nobody misgender me so what she replied was "No, [Gallus] isn't my daughter anymore-"
A few minutes later I came back from the bathroom to find my mom and my professor talking in circles around each other, because my mom was trying to recount the story of how I came out and my professor growing increasingly horrified and confused until my mom gave up and waved me over.
"I'm sorry [Gallus], can you explain the Nonbinary thing? I think I'm messing it up." She sighs.
"Oh, sure- This is my mother, I am her genetic and legal offspring, but I'm not her daughter because I don't have a gender. I'm her kid." I explain.
"OH THANK GOD!" My professor gasped. "I thought you'd been disowned!"
Can someone who understands psychology explain why this makes someone "rude"?
Phatic discourse, a subset of affiliative signaling.
When Co-workers do things like ask about weekend plans, chat about non-work topics, eat lunch in the same room, they are--subconsciously--reaffirming that they are part of a cooperative (or, minimally, non-antagonistic) social group.
The other primates cement social bonds by grooming each other; we do it by making small talk.
If they solicit your participation in these rituals, and you repeatedly refuse those bids, you are marking yourself out as, at best, an outsider to the group, and thus potentially antagonistic.
This is all happening on the monkey-brain level; they have no idea what they're doing or how they are interpreting your response, so there's no way to clear up the misunderstanding.
To the ape sleeping in your co-worker's DNA, either you are part of the grooming circle, or you are an outsider who, for all it knows, may be coming to steal all the bananas.
Even if you would prefer not to socialize with your co-workers, it's generally worth it to set aside 5 minutes a couple times a week for phatic communication. You don't have to answer your co-workers' affiliative signals every time, but it's less trouble in the long run if you respond to a few of them.
if you are the type of person who really just wants to be left alone to do their work in quiet: it is actually easier to achieve this as part of the in-group. when you enter a new space, in this case, a job, make it your GOAL to make everyone Know Who You Are. introduce yourself to everyone you meet. literally everyone. "hi I'm Jack I'm New." this helps burst the awkward bubble. you are now one of the monkeys.
at some point, either in response to an invitation, or just in the natural course of conversation, you can add in that you are a "quiet type" who "needs their silence" or what have you. customize to your personal needs. i find it helpful to imagine a well dressed elderly woman describing the sort of peace she needs to manifest.
roughly once a week if you see a group of people chatting, engage with them. keep it pleasant. it can be superficial. word will travel that you are Nice and Quiet and Not The Chatty Type protecting you from group lunches etc. if you have an office with a door that you keep closed a lot, putting up any kind of decor will also send positive signals.
humans are monkeys! for better or worse!
If you struggle a lot with what to say while chatting, the key is asking questions. People LOVE being asked questions. Provide a small comment on the answer then ask follow-up questions. Do your best to remember key answers others give you (e.g., if they're going to a concert over the weekend or if they have a romantic partner, kids, pets) and ask follow-up questions about those answers later. This will make you seem Nice and Thoughtful. It also helps you deflect answers by minimally commenting on yourself before launching it back to them without seeming standoffish or cold-shouldered.
Example questions:
Did you do anything fun over the weekend? That sounds so nice! I had a pretty relaxed weekend myself, just [hobby] and a few errands.
Any plans for the upcoming weekend? [If yes] That sounds so fun! Are you excited? Going with anyone else? [If no] Same here, I can't wait to just relax at home! Any other fun plans coming up?
[Follow-up]: How was [event/hobby] over the weekend?
How's your [spouse/partner/kid/bestie] doing? Good to hear they're doing well! What have they been up to recently? Still liking their job / doing [hobby] / doing well in school?
Have you been doing anything new in [hobby] lately? Oh, that sounds so cool, do you have any pictures?
Read any good books lately?
Watched any good shows/movies lately? I don't know if I'll have time to watch that myself, but it sounds interesting. What do you like about it? [Note: this really hits if you don't care about spoilers. People love sharing enthusiastic spoilers. React shocked/excited then ask more.]
Remember, it's about being polite. Being friendly is not being friends.
so my dad's car insurance called me today and was like hey we're trying to get a hold of this dude and found your name and thought y'all might be related (i have an incredibly uncommon surname). so I was like yeah that's my dad. can you tell me what he did this time
and i could tell she wasn't supposed to tell me, but heard the absolute exasperation in my voice and just knew i was his child. she described that there was "a fender bender, and an altercation, in a restaurant parking lot" and that his lawyer was trying to get a hold of him to tell him his court summons had been waived
my parents own a restaurant so I figured it was their parking lot but upon asking my mom i have learned
it was a burger king parking lot. he physically fought a guy in a rural pennsylvania burger king parking lot. love and light ☀️
update: my dad's response to my questioning
got the full story from my dad:
-pulled up to the burger king drive through and a guy was just standing in the way. my dad rolls down the window and tells him to get out of the way
-guy goes over to the window of my dad's car and starts yelling at him for some reason
-guy throws a slushie in my dad's face and then starts to walk off
-my dad, and i quote, "just fuckin blacked out" and, in an apoplectic haze, hits the dude with his truck, not hurting him but flinging him a respectable distance and knocking him to the ground. i at this point ask why he didn't just get out and punch him. he says "i don't know something just came over me", while understanding this isn't an excuse to hit people with your truck
anyway my dad's on probation now
you didn't ask for "my dad hitting a guy with his truck" updates but i have some anyway. turns out the guy he hit 1. is named bronson tate and 2. has two DV charges so i think this is warranted now

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Always great when this is the thumbnail of the weeks forecast
just gonna start killing people i dont find funny
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255
shut the fuck up
People will talk about Tumblr's amazing hatemail game but its person to person reply game is equally unhinged.