tired old man

Not to brag but what a time to be childless

forever grateful i was simply too lazy to let the makeup industrial complex get its hooks in me. I was just like im not doing all of that. in fact. im doing none of that

yeah I have political reasons for it now but my original and still most powerful reason is "I am not getting out of this bed one single second before I have to"

and for the rest of your life you will be haunted by the meal you had 7 years ago at a now closed restaurant. but you get the rest of your life to try to replicate it

"on god's green earth" is way too fun to say even when you don't believe in god and know most of it is blue, actually

i love the internet cause i saw the news about the louvre heist and all of the comments were “did you check the british museum?”

the thing is. art crime always has the goofiest, pink panther-esque plots. like mini chainsaws? a ladder that may or may not be part of it? riding away on scooters? like I know it's a serious thing "stealing is bad" blah blah blah but if they wanted me to be stoic about it, they should stop having heists that are like an episode of looney tunes coming to life.

pacific rim fucks severely for a lot of reasons but my favorite is that it opens with "the lizard aliens are unionizing so we built robots running on the power of love to fight them you got all that right" and before you have time to really process that concept bam gunshot body on the floor and the movie goes "now consider the vast power of grief in this setup" it never really stops considering

It also has a scene where the robot uses a boat as a baseball bat. That also fucks tremendously.

I love you Pacific Rim, I love you Ramin Djawadi's soundtrack, I love you Mako Mori, I love you found footage prologue, I love you entire concept of Drift compatibility, I love you only actual golden retriever man Raleigh Becket, I love you Kwoon scene, I love you "it's not obedience. it's respect," I love you Mana Ashida's powerhouse performance, I love you Stacker Pentecost's sun motif, I love you Chuck's jacket, I love you hallway fistfight, I love you Crimson Typhoon, I love you Otachi, I love you del Toro's "guy in a suit" approach to creature design, I love you Hansens with flare guns, I love you "for my family," I love you numerous artful nods to Jurassic Park, I love you "we can clear a path. for the lady," I love you forehead touch, I lo

(never degraded someone before) you have your mother's cruelty. and your father's cowardice.

there’s a phenomenon when it comes to enjoying a male character in a piece of media where it’s so much fun and i love my blorbo and i want to talk about my blorbo and read analysis of my blorbo but i realize very fast and very hard that the majority of fans made up a version of him that appeals to their horniness and it’s become the popular and standard interpretation and i do not care for that guy at all like i’d beat him with hammers actually

basically i have to stay silly bc the other option is death

hello child born between the end of the 1990s and beggining of the 2000s, welcome to my saw trap. in front of you is a computer, you can learn to code and guarantee yourself the only career that will be available in a couple of decades, or you can play around on ms paint and develop a beautiful creative mind that will starve to death forever, you have a few years to choose but by the time you do it'll be too late