they should invent putting on sunscreen that doesn't feel like putting on sunscreen

The apple they fed to snow white wasnt poision at all it was just a red delicious

I love how Zohran Mamdani is wearing a suit everywhere. And if he has anything else he puts it ON TOP of the suit. A basketball jersey. A high-vis vest. All worn over the suit. He’s like the mayor character in a cartoon who’s always dressed as The Mayor. If I didn’t know who he was and he biked past me in NYC I’d be like holy shit was that the mayor

I know his tailor is stressed bro look at this man wearing a suit to fix a pothole

am i allowed to say kill all trillionaires or is that too specific of a threat

Those sick fucks at Ocean Spray will mix anything with a cranberry

miss you (the money i spent)