Cullen Romancers

Dear Inquisitor Trevelyan,

We’ve had another two hundred recruits pledge their allegiance to the Inquisition since you departed for Crestwood. It seems like news of your survival at Haven has spread around Thedas farther than we could have imagined. The recruits are greener than I would like, but many of them know how to hold a sword right side up. That’s a start.

Josephine is ecstatic. She mentioned something about hosting a celebratory ball upon your return. If you need me, I shall be hiding in my quarters until the threat of such an event passes. But I warn you now so you know what you’re up against when you return.

How is Crestwood? Leliana’s scouts mentioned the weather is appalling. I hope you are able to stay safe and locate Hawke’s Warden contact. I fear we won’t make much headway with Corypheus without them. If you require extra resources just say the word — I have a few soldiers who are ready to be deployed at any time.

One… final matter I would like to approach. I have heard mention of a high dragon flying through the area. Please I would not recommend approaching the Dragon, and instead exercising caution — no matter what The Iron Bull may say.

Regards,

Commander Rutherford

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Dear Commander Rutherford,

What did I say about formal titles with me? Being addressed as the Herald was tough enough, but now as the Inquisitor? I would appreciate it if my friends would call me by my given name. If that is not too much to ask.

If anyone can whip these recruits into shape it would be you. I have full faith in my Commander.

Crestwood was wet. We did take all precautions to stay dry, but still managed to feel the chill most days. At least Dorian did, he never stopped complaining about it.

Hawke and Warden Alistair are headed back to Skyhold as I write this letter. We have rerouted to stop through the Hinterlands before we head back. Now that we have the capabilities, I thought we could provide more help to the refugees of the area, and see if any more are interested in joining the Inquisition. Don’t worry, I shall be back before long to keep you from the dreaded ball.

I must admit, the idea of a celebration does excite me. The dresses, the food, the dancing! Before I was taken to the circle, I used to beg my Mother to allow me to attend our family soiree’s when we hosted them. Don’t worry, I am ready to conspire on an excuse to keep you in hiding.

You’ll be pleased to know that we did not engage with the high dragon in Crestwood. Despite Bull’s protests, we knew the four of us would not be able to take her alone. Still, I don’t like the idea of leaving the town unguarded against her. Could you please deploy our soldiers to Crestwood when you have the chance? They’ll appreciate the protection.

Maker, the Hinterlands is gorgeous. As I write now it is sunset, and the golden light filtering through the leaves is beautiful. I can’t believe you grew up around here. You must have had the most magical childhood.

We plan to leave for Skyhold in a few days. I hope you can hide from Josephine until I get back.

Warmest,

Codex: A carefully folded parchment letter left spread out on the Commander's desk. Next to the papers is a tiny pile of dried and pressed elderflowers. If one were to count them out, they would note there are a dozen of them.

Ma Rajelan,

Creators, I miss you so much! I'm sorry I haven't been able to write you before now--you must be wearing yourself out with worry! Vhenan, I knew this parting would be hard on us, but I had no idea quite how hard. Maybe it is simply that we’re in Ferelden, but everything reminds me of you.

The Grey Warden is here, so I ought to give Hawke her flowers for that. He’s... interesting. He looks so much like you, I thought you could be brothers! But Varric points to his juvenile humor as something not acquired in a village like Honnleath. Has he met your family?

Rajelan’s missing you too, I expect. Were you here, he’d crown your head with drooly kisses and beg you for carrots.

As for Leliana. I got her to agree to leaving our private correspondence alone, as a favor to me and as a pathetic sort of privilege for being the Inquisitor. I used the saddest eyes on Charter—you know the ones—and I’m hopeful the sincerity of the request was properly passed on. I have no doubt that you’ll know whether she kept her word this time.

I wish this could be the part where I get to write “I’m coming home soon,” but there’s still an underwater rift to close and a dragon to fight here in Crestwood.

You wouldn’t want to send Sera and The Bull down here, would you? I could send Hawke, Cassandra, and this Alistair ahead to Skyhold if they came down. Blackwall might be interested in tagging along, too. It’s probably been years since he’s been in the company of another Grey Warden. It’s funny. He’s a little standoffish with our newest guest. Of course, the information Alistair brought with him would sober any Warden, I imagine.

I love you so much and I miss you more every second we’re apart, ma vhen’amelan. It’s unbearable, especially at night. You’ve gotten your wish there, though, because I do remember everything about our last evening together with perfect clarity, you absolute rascal!

So it brings me no small satisfaction to hear that your dreams have been similarly afflicted. Let’s make a deal. You tell me yours, and I’ll tell you mine. Call it... comparing notes.

I’ll be back as soon as I can possibly manage it. I hope you’re taking care of yourself. Until we see each other again, know that my thoughts are never far from you in your lonesome tower. I’ll be careful, I promise.

Mythal’enaste,

Lavellan

*Forgive the slightly changed wording in the second paragraph. The coded message fits differently on here.

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Codex: A rolled missive that has fallen under the Inquisitor’s desk.

Sweetling,

Cole has been dogging my steps for days now. Is this your doing? How many inhabitants of this keep have you set to looking after me while you are away?

On reflection, don't answer that. Ha.

He insists on sending cryptic notes and appearing out of nowhere to share some devastating truth or other with me at all hours of the day and night! It is exhausting, and quite painful.

I find that I am both rather upset you've set him loose upon me while you're away and simultaneously grateful you don't have to witness the state it puts me in. We have much to discuss when you come home arrive back at Skyhold come home.

I pray the Maker will speed your steps back to me.

Ever Yours,

Cullen

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Codex: A missive left on the War Room table in Skyhold.

Report: On Taking Caer Bronach

Seeker Pentaghast has successfully taken Caer Bronach in Crestwood with the assistance of our squadrons. The keep is ours. Please send the remainder of D Company to begin rotation of duties.

Overnight watch noted pillar of smoke coming from the forested hills to the north, scouts immediately dispatched. Discovered burned out campsite near Three Trout Pond with remnants of Inquisition gear. Two bodies found onsite: badly burned, embers hot. Secondary burn pit found to the east: disposal of bodies, likely Red Templars. Ashes cold.

On extended search, secondary battle site found behind nearby bluff. Two Red Templar assassins dead, magic users involved. Footsteps leading off to the North. Estimate five persons on foot, one with the gait of a dwarf.

Before leaving the site, scout encountered three mounts tied together on a broken highline wandering in the brush. Confirmed by SP to be the Inquisitor's red hart and the horses belonging to Lord Pavus and Warden Blackwall on arrival at CB. Scouts searching caves to the north for signs of the Inquisitor's party.

Will send updates the moment we know more.

Charter

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Codex: A pair of missives crushed in the bottom of a singed and dirtied rucksack.

Charter,

E Company is being dispatched to Caer Bronach. They can arrive a full day earlier, stationed as they are in the Hinterlands on a resource gathering mission.

Please send word of the Inquisitor’s party with all haste.

CSR, Cmdr

Charter,

If no word is to be had by nightfall, please send a message regardless. Send out the scouts of E Company when they arrive, if you must.

CSR, Cmdr

Part Two coming soon!

Gentle tags:

My love,

There’s so much I want to tell you; it’s hard to even know where to start! The Frostback Basin is incredible; I’ve never seen plants like these!! I want to take so many cuttings, but I don’t have enough space! I’ve started putting them in other people’s packs, which…not everyone is understanding of. But really, if you could see them!! I’ve tried sketching them but I’m no artist, so they mostly look like blobs. But!! I’m bringing those cuttings home with me, so I can show you all of them in person!! And I’ve already been testing some of them; there’s this thick vine-like one I found in a swamp which keeps bugs away. Which is perfect for me and for Dorian, despite his complaining about them taking up space in his bag.

I’ve been showing my notebooks to a herbalist here in Stone-Bear Hold; he’s just as excited to learn about our plants as I am theirs!

And the history!!!!! I can't overstate how much there is here and how it’s everywhere! I know we are here for a specific purpose, but I could stay here an age studying the ruins. Sera’s been kind enough to sketch them for me (though she keeps asking why I’d want a sketch of them) and I can’t wait to show them to you!! Professor Kenric is lovely and it's so fascinating to discuss his work! Did you know one of the things he studies are belt buckles? And the things he can learn from a single buckle; it’s incredible!! The others weren’t as enamoured (I know, you’re shocked haha) but I was enthralled. It’s like my bottles. The material, the design, the clasp, all of it, can tell you so much about the people who made it! A simple, everyday item and yet it’s a perfect window into the past.

I’ve learned so much and we haven’t even started our search into the Inquisitor!

The only thing that would make this better is if you were here. I’ve been jotting down notes everywhere we go, so I don't forget all the things I want to share with you. But I’d much rather you were here in person. Now that the war’s over, Corypheus defeated and the Breach sealed, I’ve been hoping we might travel together more. And not just to seal rifts or hobnob with nobles. I want to see the world with you, Cullen. It seems so strange to know we can start planning a future without all the worry I’m used to, but we finally can. I’ve never had a future before and now I have one with you.

And as always, you have turned me into goo. And you’re not even here!

I have been told to ration parchment and clearly I am reaching the end of my allotment, because the quartermaster is giving me a look. So I will be good and put a stop to this here, even though I am overflowing with everything I want to say. So let me finish with the most important thing of all. I love you.

I love you, I wish you were here and I can’t wait to hear from you.

Yours always, Bunny

ps I’ve included a few of Sera’s sketches! And no, the third one is not an exaggeration!!!

Thank you so much to everyone who's read these; I had so much sharing them!!!

Cullen

Commander

Dear Cullen,

There is so much I want to say, so much I imagine myself telling you. And yet now that the moment is here, I can't seem to find the words. I wish I could simply press the page against my heart and let the feelings spill out. I suppose that gives it away, doesn't it?

I will try to be brave.

I love you, Cullen. I know I am not supposed to, I know it is against my vows and that nothing can come of it, but I love you. Every day I love you more, every night I dream of a world where we can be together. It's my favourite dream, no matter how impossible.

I tried to deny it for so long, but every moment with you only pulls me in deeper. You are, you always have been, a miracle. My superiors would consider that blasphemy, but I cannot unthink it. Every moment with you is a blessing.

I should be content with that, to love you from a distance, but I am so very, very selfish. I want to tell you I love you. I want to hold your hand. I want to walk with you in the gardens and not have to worry about appropriate distances. I want to laugh with you without the Chantry’s disapproving eyes watching. I want to read with you in bed and curl up by the fire when it’s cold and kiss the angry scrunches of your nose. I want to love you as normal people love, not with distance and silence and my heart bleeding in my chest.

What a horrid cleric I am, what a disgraceful Herald of Andraste. I swore sacred vows. I promised myself to the Maker. And how much effort has the Chantry gone through to build their Herald over top of me? I should feel so honoured to have been chosen for so great a calling, yet I find myself wishing I were someone else. A Lyria that could help the Inquisition, but could also love you openly and loudly.

If my fellow Clerics knew my thoughts, they would say you'd ruined me. But they're wrong. You have only made my life brighter. And I would not wish any of it away. Not meeting you, not loving you, not even aching for you. No matter the judgement it brings down upon me, I will never regret you. You are worth anything. Do you know what inspired this letter? The way you said goodbye tonight. You walked me back to my chambers, but when it was time to say goodbye, you didn't leave. You paused a moment and the way you looked at me, I felt as if I was made of something precious. You kissed the back of my hand, your lips lingering and making my skin burn in a way I never wanted to end. You held my hand so much longer than necessary, all of time spun into glittering glass. It felt like even breathing might shatter it. You whispered your goodbye so softly and even as you backed away, your eyes held mine.

I came inside and sat down to write this, my heart near bursting from my chest. you consume me Cullen, I am yours in my bones and my blood and my soul.

I wish I could tell you that. I wish I could send you this. But it will go with all the others. Too many people are counting on me, too many have put their faith in the Herald the Chantry has crafted me into. I cannot take that from them, no matter how desperately, selfishly I want to. You deserve everything; I hope you find someone you can give it to you.

But no matter what, I will never believe loving you is wrong.

Nothing has ever felt so right.

7th Justinian, 9:45 Dragon

Dearest Cullen,

Tomorrow, we marry, and tonight, I write this sappy letter. I fear your penchant for romanticism has rubbed off on me (and I won’t even make a lewd joke about that. Look at what your love has done to me!). After all the notes I’ve left you over the years, I thought you deserved at least one I took seriously. For all my teasing, there is nothing I cherish more than you, vhenan. It’s a good thing Sweetpea is illiterate, or she might shred me to pieces for that.

I’ve never made this easy for you, yet you remain at my side, and I have no words to describe the depths of my gratitude. Not only because I would burst into flames, but there simply aren’t any words that could encapsulate how much I love you. Thank you for allowing me to borrow your strength (and your quill and ink pot to write this letter), for treating me with kindness and compassion I try every day to be worthy of, and for laughing at all my incredibly funny but terribly inappropriate jokes. Your commitment to doing what is right never ceases to amaze me, and I can hardly believe that I get the chance to forever tie myself to such an upstanding man. As embarrassing as this is to admit, I sometimes picture myself talking to a much younger me about you, about the wonderful and extraordinarily handsome man she will one day fall in love with, and I imagine that she is very happy. Ecstatic, even. 

All this to say: I love you, and I can’t wait to be your vexing but entirely too beautiful wife.

All my love,

Ash

Bonus: The two of the notes that Ash references leaving Cullen in her letter

Chapter 27 - The Lion, the Mage, the Closet (and Wall, and Chair, and Bed, and—)

Ash snatched parchment from Cullen’s desk and borrowed his quill like it had always been hers. She scrawled a hasty note: “Eat this, or else,” followed by a crude sketch of herself scowling. The drawing was no masterwork, but she caught enough of her essence that she didn’t bother signing her name. He’d know who it belonged to.

Chapter 21 - Keeping It Together

I'm often asked what I miss most when I'm gone from Skyhold. My bed, I tell them. My bath. Sometimes I say I miss the food or the well-stocked clinic. I can't tell them the truth, though I know many guess. The Commander, they tease, and I blush prettily and laugh, but they aren't quite right.

What I miss most is something - someone - that few ever get to meet—the man beneath the armor, free of his title, with his hair teased back into curls. Not the Commander, simply Cullen.

The fineries in Skyhold mean little without you. My bath? Too big when I'm alone. My bed? Cold. The clinic means less when I'm not making you ointments and tonics. Even the food loses its appeal when I'm not making sure you've eaten, too.

So there is my truth; I had to be sure at least you knew (and likely Leliana, whose eyes will find this before you do, I'm sure).

I've said all of this before, but I'm putting it in writing so that when I'm not there and the demons try to make you doubt it, you'll have a reminder.

How could I love a man like you?

You have no idea how easy you make it, Cullen.

You've made mistakes, and so have I. Not even blessed Andraste can claim to have made none. What matters is that you choose to atone. Every day you wake up and vow to do better - be better - than the man you were before. And it isn't just words, it's actions. Working with the mages, making them feel welcome and safe within our army; walking away from the life you knew and suffering to rid yourself of its shackles; working longer and harder than even the Inquisitor, ensuring our people are well-supplied and prepared for the dangers that face them; being brave enough to question your boss when you aren't sure she's going in the right direction. And those are only a few examples I can think to pen right now; there are countless others.

I love the way you carry duty like the mantle around your shoulders—doggedly and resolutely.

I love the way your eyes light up when you find a problem to solve, whether its a chess board or a ledger.

I love the way you connect with your soldiers and lead them by example.

I love your eyes, your laughter (particularly that little snort you try to hide), your unending exasperation, your patience and perseverance. I love the parts of you that you have to hide, and the parts that you let so few see. The good and the bad, Cullen. I love it all.

The things I miss most:

Your curls sliding through my fingers

Your perpetually pinched brow

The arch of your nose and the flare of your nostrils when you're incensed

Your lips for obvious reasons

The scar across your mouth—the way it pulls when you grin

The prickle of your stubble beneath my fingers and against my skin

My name on your tongue

The callouses on your fingers as they drag across my skin

Laying my head on your chest to listen to your heart

Your arms and the vein that pops from your bicep when you lift me or hold yourself over me

The trail of gold curls leading to one of your finer features

The curve of your backside that's impossible to hide, no matter how much you try

Not needing blankets when I sleep

Waking up wrapped up in you just before dawn breaks and watching the sun peak over the Frostbacks

Your smell and the taste of your skin

Thank you thank you, you are the sweetest man in the world. 

I can’t wait to thank you in person, but I needed you to know before then how perfect and wonderful you are and how desperately grateful I am for you.

In fact, I’ve had a few comments about the fact that I can’t stop smiling and though I can’t say it aloud, know it’s because of you. 

I love you I love you thank you.

I’ll see you tonight.