I was briefly in the Endo community during my system discovery, and i wanted to share my story and experiences It was stressful and i think their community caused more harm to my system and consequently myself.
Picture this, this is to get an idea on the position i was in when i was in an endogenic space. You are going through a traumatic event, and you yet again, are debating on if you are a system. you talk about it in depth, and start panicking, and when you come to the conclusion that you are a system after feeling called out by both the ICD-11 and DSM-V, you break down. your entire sense of self has just been destroyed, and you don't WANT the whole thing of being a DID system to be true. You are now distressed, confused, angry and several other things, because "why was i not diagnosed when i was younger? why do i now have to fight the medical system just to get the support i need when this could have been treated earlier and not left me like this"
Now you have the position i was in in December 2025.
I joined a Pro-endo discord server. There were pwCDD's there, but most were very pro-endo. I would frequently see people wanting MORE alters, which, i found confusing. why would someone want more alters, i hate having alters, i hate having this debilitating disorder deeply. I never really said anything about it, because i didn't have many system spaces, or spaces i could let people know i was a system, outside of three friends (who worked out i was a system before i did, as they're both systems themselves) and that was it.
I was encouraged, when i complained about one of my persecutors being as asshole, to "force split him" I was essentially just told to re-traumatize myself in attempts to get him to split. I reiterate, i was TOLD to FORCE SPLIT him which means i would have HAD to RE-TRAUMATISE MYSELF.
I was encouraged to split more alters, or even attempt to "will" more alters, which was the opposite of what i wanted. I wanted my system to not exist, i wanted to just not be a system. I was distressed by being a system (and i still am, just more to a manageable degree if that makes sense).
They had this rule, about not being allowed to bring up controversy surrounding certain sources (that's fair), but you were also just, not allowed to actively dislike something (at least how we are interpreting it. i'll get into that). I remember saying something in regards to AI (fuck AI), and the whole ass mod team dogpiled me, and REFUSED to calm down and take a step back, until i outright had to tell them that there was a little in front, who was growing distressed. THAT was what made them stop. Not me clearly being booted from front, not the fact that our protector had to handle the whole thing because of how distressing it was.
All i said, was "nah, I'd die" with a disgusted face emoji, That's all i said. The person hadn't even provided any context to what they sent (i cant recall exactly what they sent, but it was from what i can kind of recall, this stupid image of an AI chatbot and it was being trained on their messages consensually, which that consensual part? was not shared until it spiraled out of control).
If you disagree with any of the endo community, if you call them out, hell if you just aren't a yes man to them. they do not like you, or accept you, and for a supposedly "accepting" community, i felt JUST as ostracized, if not more than i was when i was an undiagnosed autistic kid.
