bruh

age aggressing to 65 so i can retire

sometimes i be saying im gonna go to bed and then i dont go to bed. frequently in fact. this is because i have the heart of an optimist and the soul of a liar

I bet there’s an English teacher out there somewhere who reads their kids’ papers and thinks, “that one. That one’s a fanfic author.”

Bro I implore you?!? I fucking beseech thee?!?!!?

right cause imagine you're dying of tuberculosis and you travel 200 years into the future and people tell you "wow you're such a sickly victorian child 🥹"

THANKSGIVING COMIN UP, THOSE PIES BETTER WATCH OUT 🐎🐎🐎

me abt to start my period:

I hate when people ask me how long it took me to crochet something I’ve made. Frankly, that’s none of my business. I put the yarn on the hook and worked on it whenever the spirit happened to take me to and then one day it was done. How long that process took is between the yarn and god; I want no part of it.

i usually black out lol