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I understand now why people get guns and start killing other people for no reason! It's to help the rest of the world out and save other people from mind control fuckers! Fuck everyone who knew!

Does anybody else know how frustrating it is when you are wanting to someone so much but there's literally no way to contact them!! Then it's really starting to sink in that they are just fine not talking to me because I haven't heard from them!! So it's not a strong bond like I thought it was I assume!

And I would have thought that I would be past the sad feeling and not be sitting here still missing her like I do every night but I don't know jack shit about this stuff and struggle daily! Doesn't make it easier that's for sure but I can't just stop! And to find someone else is not going to be easy or something I want to do!! If there is a God in heaven and wishes for me to make through this then he really needs to pay attention because I am not going to make it much longer this way!! 100% REAL TALK!!

If I was to ever sale my soul as they say to someone or something else I wish to believe that I would still be able to look myself in the mirror following and tell myself that it was most definitely worth it and everything lost and harmed by it was unavoidable for the greater cause it stood for! And it will change so many other peoples lives for the future that I will become a legend like person Godly if you will for my sacrifice that it's not just my own ego that wanted this but mankind also wanted me to do it!! Stroke,stroke,stroke yup it's still stroking no matter if your doing it or someone else!!!

And after all this time and everything that we have been through you show me your true colors and disrespect the fuck out of me and my house by being the sneaky bitch that you are and work with your friend and sneak a mofo into my house while I'm distracted in the bathroom!! You will never be able to see anyone else's progress in the right direction in life because of you how you are and always plotting to get over on someone!! The work I have put in so far in trying to be a better man and not do the things to you in reacting to your BULLSHIT like before is put into jeopardy every single time you come around me playing your childish ass games!! We have done so much damage to our little family and they don't deserve to have to go through anymore but only one of us sees that and can admit it so the healing process can begin! And then theirs you still doing anything and everything so the bullshit keeps going on and acting like you are NEVER going to be able to realize that it all starts and stops with our actions!! Newsflash this ain't what Grown people are supposed to act!! It's not a game it's our lives and our kids lives! And. Of course I will be receiving the classic response to it all"Your Fucking Crazy"! When I address the latest and greatest episode to date! Crazy maybe a little but definitely not stupid! And remember the trust talk we had yesterday?? Well if you don't see why I can't fully trust you yet, you will never see it!

It's the same way everytime all talkno action! Scared to get naked and get high and fuck¡

I remember back when I actually would believe that my wife was instructed what to post so I could see it and act accordingly!! I fell for many times until realizing that she didn't think it was funny and got me to stop!! The radio doesn't talk to me anymore either!! LOL