liveblogging end of days (my beloathed)
the large hadron collider/cern is summoning nephilim. who did not just consort with women but apparently fucked dudes, too, bc we gotta add 'being gay' to their list of crimes. wendy cannot function without homophobia
michaelangelo's muse reincarnated doing cartwheels through the vatican (observatory library)
is this book gonna be pro-catholic? i mean. jether was a jesuit.
okay the pope is Big Mad at cern
john dee reference (i had to look him up but if you've heard of him i imagine this hits hard)
aleister crowley reference oh no
wendy what are you reading
antimatter is from hell. love it. science so bad it's perfect
oh man i love astaroth. fallen angel who unfalls. fave. fully jean valjeaning it in the 'i am doomed & can never repay my debt so i gotta damn myself' vibes
father columba???? bro try harder
it is so important to wendy that you know lucifer is hot
aaaand he's slut-shaming mary magdalene and being misogynistic/whorephobic as hell
clones and resurrections and the existential need of evangelicals to believe that good relations with the settler-colonial state of israel are inherently Holy and Good
pls do not describe the entirety of humanity as 'gagging for it' when talking about the mark of the beast so much is wrong with you
the chip can magically heal people. like if the devil had these powers all along why hasn't God ever used them??? are we positing a devil more powerful than God?
very eugenicist way of doing it though
oh god israeli secret forces are resisting the demon takeover 🤦🏻♀️
why are they rebuilding babel. why.
'Our mind-control programmers make MKUltra look like kindergarten.' girl why
nasa's secret ufo division omg
oh god do we have to endure the fake resurrection D:
no way any channel is cancelling commercials for any reason. disbelief stretched.
oh man. mossad investigating 9/11. why god why.
omg the us planned a coup in the ussr to overthrow gorbachev. love that. :D
gabriel my bestie gabriel! 😍
wendy you don't have to tell us everyone is hot every time we see them
okay the letter is kinda fire. just. longing & tragedy & the war between duty & justice & loving someone who has gone down a path you despise
his robes are blowing tempestuously & he has a machiavellian grin. 😒 i didn't say his name but you thought of him, didn't you?
bitcoin reference! surprisingly still kinda relevant!
alex has not considered the possibility of clones
love when wendy includes one (1) unattractive character and makes sure to make it clear that they are Not Beautiful
wendy making sure we know who is who but also delivering a scene with jason & lily that is so deeply confusing idk whether it's bad writing or my copy is just missing sentences
okay, 'when i take the throne i will make you my jester' kinda slaps
terrible yearning and silence, see, this is the kind of angst & sorrow i come here for
'i did it all for you' is brilliant but also. does not fit with anything else this guy has done, ngl
michael trying to help him, wow
& God weeping - this is why i prefer book 1/kinda book 2. the idea of the grief over lucifer, the near-universalist implications wendy decides to throw away bc they don't fit her theology
ehhhhh i don't care about jason/julia, sorry
ughhhh this chapter has not improved my opinion, julia deserves better
we skipped a bunch of chapters bc they were full of 9/11 truther exposition (ngl wondering how much of what wendy says coheres with what the leftist 9/11 truthers say)
'the omniscient, omnipotent lover of your soul.' okay that's beautiful <3
aaaand back we go to exposition about finance -_-
oh my god the de veres are evil
okay alex is reading narnia to lily
girl is just plagiarising from lewis non-stop for several sentences. deep magic. aslan on the move. courage, dear hearts (ngl i love that line so bad)
oh lily i promise you he was that bad
lily bringing up nick, ouch
oh god not another wendy alec 'plain woman'. can we not describe people without making claims as to their beauty or lack of i beg
jether & charsoc hanging out at the cirque de soleil during the apocalypse goes crazy
charsoc's 'flamboyant hat'. is he gay coded? i've forgotten enough about these books that idk
'multitude of vermillion rings' hmmmmm
long time no see, as they say in the less educated parts of this stinking planet. as yet unknown depths of racism, goddamn
okay his whole vibe is racist gay white man
otoh jether says shit like 'frippery'
offering him half-eaten chocolate i remember why i shipped these two weirdos. old man yaoi everywhere for those with eyes to see
is him liking the arts wendy being like 'the arts is GAY and EVIL' u never know with wendy
they gotta be compatriots they can't just be friends
lmaoooo bro checking his blood pressure mid-show
also shocking pink with red rings and a grand vizier hat and tasselled shoes? idk if he's serving cunt or he just looks like a clown crossed with a hurricane in a circus supplies shop
'Our pay is so much better. Maybe there are yet others who will defect.'
bro is kinda funny i'm ngl. angel union stat
‘What is it you want from me, Jether?’ Charsoc snapped.
i kinda love him. (i am here for the angels and nick, alas)
jether the pale pink is the least of the issues here, wind your neck in. can't believe he's fashion policing him
pink soothes his soul??? twin i guess??
oh my god i love them just sniping at each other non-stop it's delightful.
& 'your soul obviously requires a vast amount of soothing' kinda goes hard. like. the guy who lost his soul is replacing God with the colour pink? okay then
jether is a boring beige bitch
i'm sorry he's still not banished?? how many chances does he get??
why. do we need to know charsoc's fingers are long. if not for [redacted] (sorry)
not much pink in HELL, CHARSOC - literally jether
also he pats him on his back when he chokes on popcorn, but a little too hard bc they're frenemies not besties
‘It would be a gross stretch of the English language to say it has been a pleasure.’
well i enjoyed it even if you didn't
‘You will inform Lucifer that your absence from the greatest angelic battle in the history of the aeons was due to the fact you were watching Cirque du Soleil in Las Vegas?’
lmaooo inshallah he actually misses it for that reason. although lucifer doesn't tend to be funny he'll just get violent about it. he has three modes: angst, being mean to his brothers, and violence
he's in a black site in israel this cannot be good. although wendy is too christian zionist to write this accurately
okay why was this man polishing bullets
ofc they're israeli special forces 😩
dammit 'blueprints for my tardis' & maxim's doctor who obsession is legit cute (although doctor who has better writing about God & humanity than wendy does. twelve & clara esp. 'do you think i care so little for you that betraying me would make a difference' line of all time)
ooh, lucifer's bedchamber
charsoc's here! my bestie charsoc! in canary-yellow night robes bc ofc he is. world's worst/weirdest fashion plate
lucifer's fave things: black diamond, frankincense, haunting melodies, paintings, torture & woe, his viol
okay he's the devil but boy can he play that fiddle [johnny waiting in the wings: >:)]
just calling him 'charsoc the dark' like ur mom using ur full name
‘Your Excellency, I have woken from strange and sinister dreamings.’
love when it's so bad it's good
magenta couch!!! the devil's side have the worst taste it's awesome (tbf i would love a magenta couch)
committing to the aesthetics of evil at all times, fully wedded to the bit
‘I have no interest in your strange and sinister dreamings, Charsoc the Dark.’
oh god there's stones of fire. have these even been mentioned before?? apparently they magnetise lucifer's soul.
wendy writing fantasy: let's make as many references to completely random groups/objects with fancy names as we can. this is True Fantasy Writing.
oh i see, now we know what the stones of fire are, at least
yeah, we get that they call to your very soul, you've both said that like eighty times
bro don't break your viol
there are crypts of conflagration now. wendy just inhaled a thesaurus
omg i love when he holds daggers to people's throats
just calling him ugly. mean.
‘I will take my brother Michael prisoner as collateral,’
yesssss brother drama time
there's a chocolate fountain by the thrones of the ancient monarchs?? ngl i appreciate the audacity. heaven should indeed be fun
okay this comedy is just kinda weird
um throwing people by their feet is not cool, michael
i do like that xacheriel is like. gotta have my doctor who toys with me at the ancient monarch meeting. for the inspiration apparently
i'm begging you wendy just say friends. or comrades. make heaven communist again
wild that heaven has lawyers. this is like lucifer & yehovah's divorce proceedings
A formal declaration of war, in legal conformity with Eternal Law.
wild that lucifer is doing better at following the law than certain world leaders (although ngl the fact that heaven has war as a legal possibility is. hmmm. i do not think this is just war tbqh)
xacheriel's giant feet mention for some reason
me, kind of tired, ignoring michael ranting about his insane brother, the twins of maleficum and their sweltering laboratories, and wendy literally making aslan God's fursona: 😪
okay damn the children swarming God-as-lion is adorable
storytime??? 🥺 with gifts???
licking his sword lecherously moloch what is your deal
licking his sword lecherously while calling michael 'my pretty' & saying they have 'unfinished business'. wendy really does love her villainous predatory gays
gabriel straight up warning michael & michael is still like 'nah you wanna fight one on one? let's go bitchifer' idk if that's wrath or longing for the former times of brotherhood when fighting was like. their love language. or both. bitterness/anger he's turned it into something else
fighting where they once raced chariots
also uh. i really don't think the throne was his inheritance like that
is everything this dude does machiavellian??
The parrying and thrusting became more intense once again considering my learnéd friends comment about the inherent homoeroticism of christian masculinity (the contents of which i forget. something about it being impossible for men to develop genuine bonds so even depictions of brothers have this frustrated underlying eroticism)
just razzing each other non-stop
eyes dark with sheer hatred okay then
waist-length hair is absolutely serving though
he's laughing dementedly. like. either we need to go full-on 'lucifer is insane and maybe not responsible for all his choices' or we need to maybe let this go. like i get the insane villain is a common trope but as An Insane i do not appreciate it. i do find the way wendy writes it funny. but also. hmmmmm.
he's just taking off his clothes now. showing off his muscles. wendy envisioned a campy sci-fi/fantasy film and then wrote it out
‘You hide behind your armour, brother,’ he taunted.
and he also takes off his armour! entirely unable to resist the taunting! bro learn the fruit of self-control i beg
he's just. grabbing him by the hair. and throttling him. it is very much 'two brothers get into an out-and-out brawl and have no clue where the line is'. ur gonna kill him bro ur not legally allowed to do that i think
and then he just stabs michael. in his bare chest. they're topless brawling. would bet several human pounds that wendy just wrote this bc she thought it would look hot. she's not entirely wrong tbh.
they drained the seven pools of wisdom just bc he left??
right okay so if the vermillion and fuschia striped robes are his Official Chief Magus rules this was lucifer's fault.
charsoc got that waist-length hair too? ngl he probably looks awesome in his bright pink robes
what is with this dude and his curly toed slippers
bro is still having Emotions at seeing his old home. there's something still there, let's be universalist about it!
must he finger the goblet? must he?
wtf did they do to him it's been like 5 minutes
proving his monstrousness while michael stays stoic through tears
this is straight up just vogue for angels fallen & otherwise
wait only jether can do that? not michael? also can jether only do that for angels? bc if not then like. uh. offended on nick's behalf
they bound the poor guy's mouth???
this is just them walking down stairs while gabriel has bad dialogue and the watchers are like 'we still owe you respect bc of who you used to be'
you're giving lucifer stigmata?? really wendy?? idk if that's misguided or meant to be a low blow to the stigmata-having saints of yesteryear
judas kissed jesus on the mouth. have courage to reject modern cultural norms and accept ancient ones wendy. do it wendy
okay 'another garden, another kiss' is a very cool motif but. no i shan't say
oof, haunted by his betrayal of gabriel
honestly v interesting interpretation of the torments of hell - tormented by regrets
only the darkness and the thudding of his heart, damn, okay
bro is half-naked again?? wendy has an agenda here
he's offering him an out :(
‘You could have shared his throne with me.’
so obsessed with the messy codependent betrayal arc here. the brother he'd be willing to share his throne with
ngl someone being doomed by their obsession with God is p cool. but wendy does not have the skill to write that so she just. tells us it's happening.
honestly kinda feels like either God's torturing him or the dooming obsession is mutual
jesus sending him gabriel to comfort him is. well. the only two people he's still capable of loving. & that love is warped.
okay him carrying a burning lucifer is definitely an Impactful Image, i will give wendy that
ngl if this ever gets made this is gonna be so many christian kids' Gay/Bi/Bondage Awakening. oh he's half-naked and in chains, you say? in the christian movie my youth group made it compulsory to watch? this will not awaken anything in me. :)
they burned his pretty hair? :(
must we do the legal thing again
michael & lucifer's entire relationship is like. violence. being competitive. so many things about masculinity being said here.
property rights in heaven oh noooo. wendy has not read the book of acts
okay repeating the kiss so tenderly is weirdly sweet/impactful. although like. casting God as judas, even when deserved, is like. hmmm. is it crueler to betray with a kiss?
😬 okay i'm ngl the antisemitism here is bad. jewish people's entire role here is in service of the fulfilment of christan prophecy. dubious and bad.
either that or they're idf/mossad, which is its own kind of. oh dear. (u r only valid if you are service to imperialism or christian hegemony. & if the latter you get no interiority at all bc imperialism is the greater force here)
oh of course weaver gets mocked for the crime of being scared. masculinity is when no emotions ever
wendy is obsessed with long black hair. wondering which celebrity crush inspired this
i'm sorry but why is he expositing alex's life (& trauma???) at him
i'm sorry is this just how he communicates?? 'hey, you are [wikipedia biography]'
this angel coming soooo close to breaching the angel/human relationship law just by accident. ur charisma is simply too strong xacheriel
wait he's blushing? oh so it's okay when you do it, i guess
oh good we're being nice to weaver
please God don't compare the fallen to refugees or immigrants wendy i am begging you (tbf hopefully she's too committed to Directly Stating Intent to do a deeply evil analogy here)
they literally cannot stop being dicks to each other for five seconds
using brother like it's a curse word
oh god the hooked noses, wendy wyd. wyd really
just standing there screaming in harmony like the world's worst christmas carol concert
my buddy raphael is back! 🤩
i'm sorry how many palaces do they have on uninhabitable planets?? wendy's concept of space is wild
idk what's so scary about six fingers. wendy has a vendetta against stanford pines specifically
why above ethiopia 🤨 is this wendy shading orthodox christianity??
okay so they live in the ocean too 😑
hera???? combining the valkyrie with banshees?? wendy read a book of world mythology three years ago while half-asleep & decided she would double-check nothing. like i get c.s. lewis mixed father christmas & dryads/naiads/satyrs/fauns with his own mythology but wendy. come on. this is just wild.
gehenna is a real place it's not an ice plain on mars wendy. read a bible commentary not written by an evangelical w/ 0 theological training just once i beg
also like. why would you create all this frankensteinian nightmare mythology just to. list it all whenever there's a battle or eviction. u r giving us nothing wendy
are we going to take jesus to heavenly civil court for trespassing? level of excitement i expect from wendy rn
so they've just been screaming this entire time.
jesus just like. i'm begging you to shut up for just one second
if she could wendy would make jesus speak entirely in biblical quotes. like i get the intent but girl you're evangelical. you might as well as have him deliver oratory on prayer in schools
must you constantly remind us that Dylan Is Fat. like if you're going to do this you should be doing it fuck that fat boy friday style. but you won't. 😔
storm/dylan maybe? would accept tbh so long as wendy isn't a dick about it
tbf calling things unprecedented is a classic journalistic trope
ohhh, so adrian's possessed by the devil now. cool. i like how she's being so. science fiction It Could Really Happen In The Future about a wildly common horror trope.
girl we know what a burner phone is we watch things that aren't god tv
All humans had been evacuated, and any who had refused the warnings – investment bankers, stockbrokers – were now the shackled slaves of the Fallen.
i am experiencing. schadenfreude
oh no wendy is referencing left behind, the only book almost as terrible as this
:/ :/ :/ :/ wendy. c'mon. don't use auschwitz as a fucking backdrop in your fundamentalist fantasy
okay this was already uncomfortable as hell when it wasn't referencing auschwitz, it's worse now it is
a) this is the worst part yet, kind of evil to use the shoah like this (deliberately not using holocaust bc the greek roots of the term make me uncomfortable for reasons wendy very unhelpfully makes explicit), b) i'm p sure she's used this exact dialogue about temptation & tete a tetes before millions of times
why are they calling him king alexander wendy i don't think that's how you reference the events of the maccabean revolt
why is he reinstating a monarchy though
kings don't work like popes you don't get a new name
literal futurist interpretation of biblical prophecies strikes again
listing countries like we're nicolai carpathia
do they need the live snakes? for the fashion of it all?
ngl they're treating israel like israel treats palestine here
okay now they're combining that with the holocaust, this is just. fucked.
i'm sorry the ark of covenant isn't incinerating them?
oh good we're talking about the 9/11 money again
this novel is written for men whose special interest is military history but ONLY the planning of routes and listing of weapons
this isn't the last book, is it 😞
i'm sorry they're randomly making julia queen?? why exactly?? i'm p sure there wasn't any implied adrian/julia but tbf this is more lucifer/julia than adrian/julia
also idk. just murdering rebekah is like. ehhhhh i do not like this
as soon as his smile turns machiavellian you know who this guy is
okay but the thing is... randomly deciding to commit genocide is not something everyone in the world will... i say this & then i look at trump & gaza & venezuela & ice & greenland & i think. well shit. but no, even now there are plenty of people who are like 'fuck that, that's evil'. if we're going by world governments they tend to appease, but. eh i guess he would talk like everyone loves him even if he is controversial at best.
ohhh okay the julia thing is just to torture jason bc. lucifer feels the need to torment the michael of his human protege
okay but 'damn ptsd' is not a sentence i imagine any human being has ever said. could be wrong could be guys out there like. damn i can relate.
After the massacre of the Russians by the Israelis in World War Three, it was the perfect cover.
jordanian & israeli co-operation, maybe, but an israeli in a keffiyeh?
jason almost fighting a deeply reluctant jesus in a prison cell is kind of fire, though
it's interesting how wendy (& evangelicals in general imo) portrays jesus as, like, inherently lovable/loving/compelling rather than showing via actions (as in the gospels). like, much to say about the idea of God as inherently good w/o needing to show it via actions as well as the modern tendency to not expect God's action
alex talks like a wwii colonel in a movie from the 50s
i get why julia would fall for this, although idk if she's likely to fall for 'jason & rebekah are evil'. like, jason had a psychotic break is one thing, but the grandmother of her godson & her ex-husband kidnapping her for collateral?
ngl if my brother-in-law built me an infinity pool i'd be impressed too (nb i do not have a brother-in-law)
he put her swimming pool above a prison???? bro. bro you have no game whatsoever what are you even doing
Don’t worry your pretty head over our resisters.
girl must be fried from all the pills bc that sentence is punch-worthy
okay he built her a palace
did wendy get paid for the aubusson & savonnerie product placement?
the palace has a personal spa, damn.
designer wardrobe and a library?? okay wow
‘Light. Oh, you remembered how much I love light!’
'oxygen! you remembered how much i love oxygen!'
like i get the idea but the phrasing is so...
Only her eyes and the lower half of her pasty face showed beneath her wimple, yet somehow even this betrayed her deep Teutonic origins.
phrenology with wendy time
oh, she's thick. wendy disapproves
oh good there's forced medication at the paradise palace. this is effectively creepy but tbf idk if she's just borrowing from elsewhere
ngl 'downloading info straight into your cerebral cortex' is worryingly chatgpt-coded
lily is pretty. but not too pretty. idk i hate this.
at eleven??? girl no you were groomed
are we going to rescue the abbess bc if not wendy is just as bad as francine when it comes to depictions of csa (francine rivers, writer of the worst christian romance on earth)
first it was six hours now it's one?
why. why are you being so oedipal adrian.
‘Oh, how his great mercies and compassions touch my heart. Mercies for all mankind, but not for Lucifer.’
Tell my father I am deeply overcome by his mercies
wendy not having any good reasons for God not intervening to stop this bc the problem of evil remains unsolveable
the racism seeping from his pores, holy shit. the worrying thing is idk if it's intentional or not
i mean she just used the word swarthy i doubt it was intentional
okay michael/astaroth tragic reunion slaps
'be a good girl' gives me the ick
michael has dimples??? sorry that's so charming
oh no he's just going to talk about construction again
we're arguing that the tower of babel was going to actually work, then 😑
lucifer's main hobby is kidnapping michael
dousing yourself in the plant your archenemy is mildly allergic to is a baller move though. old man yaoi
honestly electric pink tuxedo is a look. not sure about the rest tbh
he loves chocolate toffees and pink he's such a classic Flamboyant Villain
‘Your ex-wife’s going to get her comeuppance tonight, alright.’
the entendre isn't even double
they put him in a designer suit to get executed? why?
okay. wow. fuck you jason fuck you wendy. a) people very much did fight, there were uprisings in the camps & ghettos as well as resistance movements including jewish & roma people, b) 'fighting back' does not fix everything, and people like you are just as dismissive and shitty of the efforts of people like hamas, pij & the vietcong as you are of the innocent people murdered by the relentless forces of fascism, white supremacy, and imperialism.
also that's such an imperialist-ass approach. you can't possibly imagine what it's like to be thoroughly oppressed and crushed down bc you're used to doing that to others and using violence/anger to get your way, and so you can't sympathise with either the violence of the oppressed, the choice to engage in non-violence/pacifism, people who are too scared to fight back or feel defeated/like it's impossible, or people who can't fight back & so don't get a choice either way. it's all about you and what you'd do from your privileged position
wendy this will translate to film so badly they ain't gonna buy the rights
the kissing on both cheeks imitating when christ cast him down is. pretty good i'm ngl
justice and world opinion, bitch???? i'm p sure the world is not thrilled with the fucking genocide you're enacting
oh so we're just not bothering to save the high priest from an agonising death, is that it? stg if this man dies while they manage to save jason i will be writing Reviews. tbf i should already be doing that this has been riddled with the vilest antisemitism
the only research wendy did was on weapons 😑
save the priest, what the fuck
oh thank God they're saving the priest
the idf as the sealed is just. okay this might as well happen
quit being christian zionist all over your terrible book wendy
okay fine this is kind of a cool reveal i will allow it
wait. wait no i thought the ghost was nick. this is okay though i guess. nice to have a new character to do brothering. hope he meets nick
reading reviews and there are people lavishing praise on this book. how. what else are you reading. the only complaint is the swearing. goddamn.
oh we have another complaint about it not being biblical enough. christians man. wtf
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