The Rebooted Reality

NEWS ALERT: JOSH GROBAN IS NOT JOSH BROLIN.

Timothy Omundson and Timothy Olyphant are also different apparently.

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

reblog if the first musical you listened to was not Hamilton

The editing of this video is hysterical and genius- they switch between so many editing styles to reflect exactly what kind of thing they're going for in each segment its GREAT.

actually physically painful to watch because you know months were spent masking all those frames for each of the kajillions of transitions in this

Holy………..shmokes…….

Oh?? My god??

I’ll try my best to describe this. It’s a video with a mash-up of a bunch of different Disney movies, set to a song that’s a mash-up of a bunch of other songs. That in and of itself wouldn’t make it praiseworthy, but this is DONE SO WELL that just, holy cow.

HOLY SHIT

do me a favor and plz reblog with your five most recently used non-face, non-hand, non-heart emojis

reblogging this again to bring up that when my grandma said she didn’t understand trans people, and why would they betray the body God gave them, it would have been 0 help to explain to her all the biological and cultural and societal components to the existence of the concept of gender and trans people. You know what did make her pause and reconsider her stance? “Did you ever think that maybe God made trans people on purpose?” And we got to have a conversation about all the interesting things God has made so why wouldn’t God make trans people? And she came out of the conversation with more grace and understanding.

Queer people shouldn't have to give up their faith to be queer; The faithful shouldn't have to give up their queerness to be faithful.

Insert meme about eating the pieces