I hate toasters @ianthetoasterslayer - Tumblr Blog

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vinegarss

captchas are getting way too hard man I can't do this

ct4cd

doctor: it appears you have Cigna

me: oh god is that fatal

doctor: that's your insurance provider

doctor: but yes

babushkaat

shrekmaids

Spirit Airlines Ceasing Operations

Hey, you budget-banging ✈️ 💴 sluts 🥵, Spirit Airlines just got GROUNDED ⛔️ 🛬 for good and said BYE-BYE 👋 to the skies! Their cheap-ass seats 💺 🍑 couldn’t keep that HARD-ON 🍆 for profit UP ⬆️, so they’re pulling out 🍌 💦 of the game faster than a one-night stand! 😜 These low-fare FREAKS 👻 were known for BARE-BONES 🦴 service, but now they’re just BONE-DRY 😭 with no more flights to POUND ✈️ 🍑 your travel plans into submission! Send this to 10 of your horniest jet-setters 🛩️ 💋 and if you get 5️⃣ back, you’re a mile-high club ✈️ 💦 member ready to ride a new airline’s COCKPIT 🍆 🕹️. If you get 🔟 back, you’ll be SCREWED 😏 🔧 with a first class DICK-OUNT 🍌 💰 on your next trip! Let’s mourn Spirit’s final TAKE-OFF 🍆 ✈️ with a bang 💥 💦 before they’re gone FOREVER! 😢 💔

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madeinglobe

nooobark

Saw someone lie to a beautiful woman and a sickly ulcerated tree immediately sprouted from the liar's chest and produced a single perfect peach

indigosfindings

im obsessed with the world of donkey kong, where the "barrel" is an abstracted, functionless object that seems to just manifest in the wild

misterrockett

dogpuppy

iliothermia

Never forget the time I accidentally burnt my challah and left it in the woods and someone posted a pic on twitter and hundreds of thousands of people saw it. And then someone linked me it and said "this reminded me of you" and I had to tell them it was me

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sonnearchive-deactivated2022120

Hate it when you're wearing "military-esque" clothing like camo pants or combat boots and some old vet asks you if you're from a military family like fuck off papa war crimes I'm appropriating your culture here.

trashiesttrashboy

How are you appropriating a vet’s culture??? Aren’t they just like, animal doctors? What do vets have to do with the army?????

sonnearchive-deactivated2022120

I love you

mangonetics

every time I see "traditional bronze cut spaghetti" in the store I think of like, "tradghetti" and horrible trad twitter guys with statue pfps posting about how "cutting your spaghetti with bronze is an act of rebellion" while posing with their extremely white wife and kids that they're actively cheating on, but then I remember that that's unironically literally exactly what everybody in Italy is like and I just chuckle and shake my head as i grab the bronze cut spaghetti anyways because it really is slightly better

stoptheantisemitism

Israel passed a death penalty law that will allow them to execute Palestinian detainees many of which have been detained without due process and many of which were kids when they were detained.

This is the equivalent to camp executions the Nazis did. It's exactly the same thing

This death penalty law doesn't apply to Israelis of course because Israel is a violent apartheid

queersatanic

The Bill's Wording Creates a Distinction Designating It Almost Exclusively for Palestinian Terror, While the Ideological Burden of Proof It

Israel's Knesset passed a bill on Monday mandating the death penalty for Palestinians convicted of deadly acts of terrorism. The bill stipulates that the death penalty will be imposed on a terrorist who killed a person "with the intent to deny the existence of the State of Israel."

In doing so, the bill's wording creates a distinction designating it almost exclusively for Palestinian terror, while the ideological burden of proof it sets is expected to make its application to Jewish nationalist terror nearly impossible.

Sixty-two lawmakers voted in favor of the contentious bill, including several opposition members; 48 voted against it, and one abstained. The law is now applicable in any territory that Israel functionally controls, including the West Bank and 53 percent of the Gaza Strip.

kibumkim

segamascott

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papasmoke

Exciting preview of democratic messaging in 2028!

maxxie-or-smth

yeah i'm into petplay run me over with your car

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