I'm feeling like late Orson Welles bitch I'm fat and drunk

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I'm feeling like late Orson Welles bitch I'm fat and drunk

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incest is such a dumb guy fetish it's like duuuhhhhh who should i jack off to today. oh i know. my mom and my dad. literally the first people i met in my entire life
Ponder like an uncle but post with a nephews spirit
*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer

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Itβs very funny that Hegseth spends 100 percent of his time talking about how masculine and traditional and warrior are ethos he made the military, then his band of Real Men just speed ran a nearly unprecedented military failure
Every day this guy looks in the mirror and psyches himself up to eat shit in the hopes that our big beautiful president succumbs to his one thousand diseases but I don't think it's in the cards

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can i get an amen break burger
here you go & have a great burgrer
this post is worth more than your entire gimmick blog
in a prestigious lecture hall with cherrywood walls a professor presents this tweet to their class. the students pass it around, each taking their chance to hold the tweet, to feel its weight in their hands. some students use their microscopes to study the tweet closely, others auscultate it with stethoscopes. once each student has had the opportunity to inspect it, the professor asks if there are any questions. the first several questions are the expected requests for clarification-- examples of chumpfuckery, inquiries as to the role of B*rnie in the production cycle of fuckcrustables, etc. the class falls silent again until a student in the back raises a hand and says "had the day not been a cromulent fuckcrustable, would tommy still needy drinky?" the professor's smile is wry yet impressed: this line of inquiry does not occur to every student. the professor says: "tell me what you think." the student ponders for a second, acutely aware that everyone in the room is watching them. "well," they finally say, "i've had days that were fuckcrustables before, some of them cromulent, and ive never needy drinky. wanty, sure, but not needy." the professor prompts them to keep going. "my theory is that... either tommy is lying or... maybe fuckcrustability doesnt actually correlate with drinky requisites?" so what does, another student asks. "i believe the key variables are the ex-wife and the tenant from hell. they generate the needy in question." the professor presses: "how can you be sure that tommy would not needy drinky otherwise?" the student replies, "because we are not talking about chumpfuckery or fuckcrustability in the abstract, we're talking about a confluence of variables producing an intersection of chumpfuckery, fuckcrustability, and cromulence that is greater than the sum of its parts. anyone would needy drinky in those circumstances, and im willing to wager that we could prove it mathematically using the drinky formula." a brief silence ensues before the classroom erupts into applause. that student goes on to graduate at the top of their class and become a leading figure in the field of tweet exegesis. the professor? that was tommy. and the student? that was You.
so i think the solution is to give dachshunds a third pair of legs right in the middle
Apple has announced a new emoji of a little gay guy getting fucked in the butthole by a big gay guy and an emoji of a big gay guy getting fucked in the butthole by a little gay guy

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Dogs serve as a kind of virtue eater for Americans to pour all of their kindness into without the risk of improving society or being nice to someone with any agency
i dont care if monday sucks... tuesday cost me sixty bucks... wednesday thursday give no fucks. it's friday im a duck