Tales From All Around

Your honor! Please direct your attention towards the manga.

As you can see there are small pieces of paper sticking out of every volume.

But no such paper is sticking out of the Batman comic.

Once again making hasty assumptions, Wright?

First of all, I’d like to direct the court’s attention to this particular spot, in the top right-hand corner.

Notice how the words are blocking the top of the Batman book.

Say whaaaat?

Well uhm

Look at the size of the paper pieces, they’re all sticking pretty far out.

If there was paper in the batman comic, it would be big enough to stick up over the text.

Still grasping for straws, Wright?

Hypothetically, if there were a paper there, this picture would not be able to prove its presence. I’ve taken the liberty of drawing a diagram to illustrate my point. We are faced with three possibilities. It is possible that (1) the paper was simply tucked in deeper than the others.

Paper is a soft material, Wright. It’s not unreasonable for it to do a (2) 90 degree turn. 

Or perhaps, (3) a paper does not exist there at all. 

Either way, you cannot prove your client innocent without sufficient evidence.  

I’m sorry Edgeworth.

I concede that I can’t disprove theory 1

But the image you submited for theory 2 is contradictory.

Look at the tilt of the other papers. They clearly prove how much the paper would tilt.

And theory 3 is my point! Why would the library’s book not have this piece of paper when the other library books do?

While you still have thory 1, there is another contradiction.

Ack.

(Perhaps I should’ve left the artistry to the forensic artist…)

Now hold it right there! It doesn’t matter which direction the paper is going because it’s impossible to prove it even exists!

Those theories are all the same! We do not have enough information to prove them. There could be an infinite amount of papers in there for all we know. I simply presented them only so that the court could better understand your baseless conjecture!

… I suppose the order of the books do seem out of the ordinary. However, therein lies not just one possibility. Clearly, those are Japanese graphic novels, also known as “manga”. And the Batman comic book is a graphic novel, too, no?

Seeing as it currently has only graphic novels in the shelf, it is possible that any other novels have simply not yet been restocked. Asserting whether or not this effect was deliberate is useless– there is no way of knowing if the photographer and the captioner are the same person, let alone their involvement in this picture.

A while after seeing the ‘YOU CAN’T SEE GROG!’ post, I decided to make my own intimidation-based Half-Orc rogue for our groups next one-shot. Our characters began unacquainted, so we got to skip character introduction, which was to my great fortune because I got to screw with the entire group.

No one knows anyone else’s race or class because of this, but assumptions can be made easily based on bits of information being given away as needed. because I played a half-orc, I did a ton of damage in combat, so the party assumed I was a fighter (Not a barbarian because I couldn’t use rage), although they were curious as to my use of light weapons.

Later on, we are tasked with planting a magical explosive device in the heart of an antipaladin fortress and the following ensues.

Dm: “You have arrived at the rear of the fortress, which you have concluded to be the weakest point of their defenses. This means the concentration of guards is the smallest. However, they are still clearly very well-trained and would be a challenge to fight.”

Other player 1: Obviously we’re supposed to sneak past them, right?

Other player 2: Does anyone have a high DEX?

Me: I do.

The entire table looks at me, puzzled.

Me: Why do you think I use twin daggers? I have the weapon finesse feat. I’ve been attacking with my DEX modifier this whole time.

P1: …Oh my God, he’s a rouge!

P2: We all thought you were a fighter!

Other player 3: It doesn’t matter what we thought he was, he’s a rogue regardless, so he should have a high stealth modifier. Send him in.

P1: Yeah, okay, we’ll send in our half-orc who’s apparently a rogue…

DM: Alright, [Me], I’ll need you to make a series of stealth checks.

I only needed to make four. Keep in mind that as I made him intimidation based like Grog, I had no ranks in stealth. I succeed the first three with my high DEX, but on the last one I fail miserably.

DM: “The last guard turns to see you long before you even pass him.”

Guard 4: “Hey! What are you doing up here! Why am I even asking that; no one else is allowed up here anyway! *To his other guards* Seize him!”

Me: I’m surprised I even made it this far.

P2: What do you mean?

Me: I didn’t actually put any ranks into stealth.

P3: Wait, seriously?

Me: Seriously. My DEX is so high I didn’t think I would need them.

P1: You idiot! Why would you, a rogue, not put ONE rank into stealth!?

Me: They all went to a different skill.

Entire table, simultaneously: WHAT SKILL!?

Me: You’re about to find out.

Me: Once the guards have come close enough, I clear my throat, take a deep breath and shout… “YOU CAN’T SEE RUM!!!”

The entire party just gives my this weird look for like, a full minute. Then:

DM: You son of a bitch.

He starts laughing like crazy. No one else gets it, so the DM pulls up the original ‘You can’t see Grog’ post. I think what really got him though is that both Grog and my rogue, Rum, are both named after booze. Everyone recognizes the meme on sight, and the table becomes a mix of groaning and laughter. Then the DM asks me to roll for intimidation. After modifiers the roll was a 29.

DM: “The guards suddenly cower in fear, repeating over and over, 'We can’t see you, Mr. Rum, Sir! We can’t see you!’ and allow you to pass.”

After I plant the magic explosive device and escape before it goes off, thus completing the main objective of the one-shot (Not without many more shouts of 'YOU CAN’T SEE RUM!’):

P2: May I just say you fooled us ALL and that we never caught on to this?

Me: You may, and you just did. Thanks. Also, [DM], can we go back to you calling my rogue OOC a son of a bitch?

DM: Sure, what about it?

Me: It was two bitches. They were Grog and his lady friend, Swill.

this is like. a woman who’s just shredded as hell. absolutely jacked. cracking walnuts between her cheeks and crushing skulls between her thighs. dumb as a brick wall and twice as thick.

Only just had the time to look through this website today and, props to ‘em, it’s a fantastic tabletop gaming resource! It has good content for inspiration, and it sources ideas from the community, giving credit where it’s due.

I love it!

Even if you just use their random lists. Here are some examples that they offer: Roll a d10 if you wanna choose one at random!

100+ Cave Skill Challenges

100 Secrets A Hamlet Or Village Conceals From Outsiders

100 Things You Can Find In A Haunted House 

100 Bard Songs 

100 Halfling Traits 

100 Interesting Dungeon Encounters 

100 Cyberpunk Corporations 

100 Warm Up Roleplaying Questions for Players 

100 NPC Jobs 

100 Useless People You Find On A Failed “Gather Information” Check

They have generators too. For example, a random potion and book generator.

If you want to contribute to a list or see what lists are currently in the works, check out their reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/d100/

my brain:

//Absurdly helpful for people writing royal characters and/or characters who interact with royalty and members of the nobility.

No, they have Westron names and English names.

What you’ve got to understand is that everything Tolkien wrote was him pretending to merely translate ancient documents. He was writing as if the Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings were actually been written by Bilbo, Frodo, and Sam (or Bilba, Maura, and Ban) and he was just some random contemporary academic translating it all into English for us. 

There are many languages in his books, but generally speaking, everything written in English in the books is a translation of the language “Westron.” Therefore any names that come from Westron, he translated. Names coming from other languages, like Sindarin, he left as they were. Why? IDK. Maybe because the stories are from a hobbit perspective and hobbits speak Westron, so he wanted the Westron parts to sound familiar and the other languages/names to remain foreign? 

“But Mirkwoodest!” you cry, “The word ‘hobbit’ isn’t an English word! And the names Bilbo Baggins, Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee, Peregrin Took, and Meriadoc Brandybuck” all sounds super weird and not like English at all!”

Psych! They are in English! (Or Old English, German, or Norse.) Once again you underestimate what a nerd Tolkien was. Let me break it down: 

In Westron, hobbits are actually called “kuduk,” which means “hole-dweller,” so for an English translation, Tolkien called them “hobbits” which is a modernization of the Old English word “holbytla” which comes from “Hol” (hole) and “Bytla”(builder). 

“Maura” is a Westron name which means “Wise.” Weirdly enough, “Frodo” is an actual Proto-Germanic name that actual people used to have and it means the same thing. 

“Banazîr” is Westron for “half-wise, or simple.” In Proto Germanic, the prefix “Sam” means half, and wise is obviously a word we still use. 

“Razanur” means “Traveler” or “Stranger” which is also the meaning of the word “Peregrin(e)” This one is a twofer because  “Razar” means “a small red apple” and in English so does “Pippin.”

“Kalimac” apparently is a meaningless name in Westron, but the shortened form “Kali” means “happy,” so Jirt decided his nickname would be “Merry” and chose the really obscure ancient Celtic name “Meriodoc” to match. 

Jirt chose to leave “Bilba” almost exactly the same in English, but he changed the ending to an “O” because in Westron names ending in “a” are masculine. 

I’m not going to go on and talk about the last names but those all have special meanings too (except Tûk, which is too iconic to change more than the spelling of, apparently). 

The Rohirrim were also Westron speakers first and foremost, so their names are also “translations” into Old English and Proto-Germanic words, i.e. “Eowyn”  is a combination of “Eoh” (horse) and “Wynn” (joy/bliss). 

“Rohirrim/Rohan” are Sindarin words, but in the books, they call themselves the “Éothéod” which is an Old English/Norse combo that means “horse people.” Tolkien tells us in the “Peoples of Middle Earth” that the actual Westron for “Éothéod” is Lohtûr, which means that Eowyn and Eomer’s names, which come from the same root word, must also start with the letter L. 

The names of all the elves, dwarves, Dunedain, and men from Gondor are not English translations, since they come from root words other than Westron. 

The takeaway from this is that when a guy whose first real job was researching the history and etymology of words of Germanic origin beginning with the letter “W” writes a book, you can expect this kind of tomfoolery.

Notes: Sorry I said “Razal” instead of “Razar” in my original post I’m a fraud. 

Further Reading: 

To everyone out there: Do you remember how you first joined your party?

site for when you can only remember part of a word/its definition 

site that gives you words that rhyme with a word