Officer I drop kicked that child in Self defense

if the emperors of rome can add extra months that actually fuck the calendar up i'm allowed to add a new month that lasts 0.0000 picoseconds

the last holiday that hasn't been commercialized

i made this up when i was a little kid and nothing would make me happier than to see people celebrating it for years to come

zenquish approaches. prepare to rejoice! briefly!

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

have they done a remake yet where scooby & the gang star in a viral ghosthunting youtube series? that would be insufferable i want one

"they did found footage" no i don't want blair witch i want them running an obnoxious video podcast with regularly scheduled sponsor breaks. Daphne does marketing & social media analytics. Velma does the editing. Fred is the annoyingly chipper cameraman. Shag and Scoob are just there

they need to start selling horse milk in grocery stores

I forgot normal people follow me I'm sorry

I'm loving this new trend of people going to zoos and participating in animal enrichment. We use to observe large exotic animals for our entertainment, but the fact is that we are now trying to make ourselves equally as entertaining for them. It's interactive, completely parpicipatory and I would argue that eventually someone's gonna come up with something new enough that it expland ethologists understanding about how some animals think, problem solve, communicate and feel and I think its fantastic.