Welcome To Hell

When I am in the courts I frequently find myself regretting Marcus Regulus, though I hardly mean to say that I want him back again. Why then, you may ask, do I regret him? For these reasons. He used to hold the profession in great respect; he used to be nervous and anxious to succeed and write out his speeches beforehand, though he could never thoroughly commit them to memory. Even his practice of smearing ointment over either his right or left eye - the former if he were appearing for the plaintiff, and the latter when he was pleading for a defendant - and his habit of changing the white patch from one eyebrow to the other, and consulting the soothsayers as to how his cases would go, though due to gross superstition on his part, were also to be partly explained by the great regard in which he held our profession. Again, his other practice of always demanding that we should be allowed to speak as long as we desired, and the way in which he succeeded in getting an audience together, were very gratifying to those who were engaged in the same cases as he was.

Also this.

Which led him to this.

Bless this man.

By the way, the topic he was presenting was

If you drink hard alcohol while gaming you have the Riotous Gamer's Spirit.

1. yes, i saved him in my phone as Eric Vehicularmanslaughter when we initially exchanged info

2. yes, i'm aware it's only manslaughter if i died. i'm a ghost, bitch. boo!

3. yes, i have hEDS

4. yes, that shit still hurts like a motherfucker

5. no, i don't remember what joke i made

6. eric was very sweet and appropriately concerned after hitting me with his car

7. he hit my body, not my car

8. i turned him down because he was very young, like young enough that i'm not entirely convinced he's old enough to buy alcohol

9. if you are one of the people in the notes saying you too would have gone for it and you're old enough to both buy alcohol and rent a car in the u.s., feel free to shoot your shot. especially if you're inexplicably wealthy and like showering ghosts with loosey goosey joints in expensive gifts