Blank Space Has Expectations

Anti-revenge narrative this, anti-revenge narrative that, I personally think that Inigo Montoya had the right idea when he stabbed Count Rugen in the gut and said “I want my father back, you son of a bitch”

A lot of revenge arcs end with the hero saying “there’s nothing you can do to bring my loved one back, so me seeking revenge is pointless.” The Princess Bride’s revenge arc ends with Inigo Montoya saying “there’s nothing you can do to bring my loved one back, so there’s nothing that can save you.”

i have one word for 2023: please

I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct

there's art now

Ah dang to go further; the floor is framed as a refuge. As if there is literally no other space in this house that hasn't been populated by his wife with flimsy inanimate fakery. There is no space for this man in this house save for the floor. There is no space for him on the sofa, oon the counter tops, and most notably, no space for him in the marital bed.

I’d also like to point out the use of the word “has.” The wife has filled the house with chintz. She isn’t filling the house with chintz. She doesn’t fill the house with chintz. She has filled the house with chintz. Use of the past-tense makes the wife a subtly removed element in the story, someone whose presence we see in the environment, but who is blissfully distant during the actors throes of passion. There is an element of physical as well as emotional separation from the wife that is catalyzed by being fucked on the floor. Use of the past tense is an end to the wife presence in the actors life, a carnal catharsis amid cold fragility and emotional distance.

This is my new favourite post in the world

everyone cheer for the one (1) time tumblr had reading comprehension

listen i love ofmd and its cast as much as the next queer but the way some of y'all are treating taika waititi is going to make me Act Up. he's not queercoded he's not your babygirl he's a real human being who is never going to live up to the pedestal you've put him on. have we learned NOTHING from the john mulaney debacle

Jane Austen really said ‘I respect the “I can fix him” movement but that’s just not me. He’ll fix himself if knows what’s good for him’ and that’s why her works are still calling the shots today.

Meanwhile Emily Brönte just said “We can make each other worse.” 

Mary Shelley said, "I can make him

honestly if teleporters ever got invented during my lifetime i would be the most annoying analog boomer about it. my grandkids would be like ugh, grandma, why don’t you just take a teleporter trip to come visit us, we all do it all the time and it’s obviously safe and i would be like absolutely not. it kills you and reconstitutes a copy with your exact memories. you are consciously my grandchildren and i do not hold it against you but i know in my heart that you are nothing but copies of copies of copies borne out of irresponsible technology use. i am not touching that devil’s elevator as long as i live. i will take an airplane and you will wait for the several hours it takes for me to come visit you

You have no idea how much I want this mass migration to tumblr to be real. I would love it if there was an entire ecosystem on tumblr of tiktokers who don't know or don't want to reblog anything, so they are functionally incapable of interacting with the rest of this website. Nothing is funnier to me

"I understand. You found paradise on TikTok. You had a good fyp, you made good content. The censors protected you and they were friendly for advertisers. So you didn't need a friend like me. Now you come and say "Tumblr, give me content." But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer reblogs. You don't even think to call me "Hellsite." You come into my house on the day my blorbo is to be married and you ask me to do content - for likes."

The Zootopia gif after the Godfather reference both destroys my soul and is also the Most Appropriate Thing for Tumblr.

next week at the grammys i wanna see someone throw a chair at justin bieber. ive had a taste of award show violence and i fear i now crave it

You can really sense the tumblr userbase aging