mmmmm conk crete

Come hang out we’re doing salvia bucket bongs and then trying to perform improvisational slam poetry

one time in college i had some kind of computer problem so i navigated an endless bureaucratic trail from desk to desk and person to person until i was told to go to a room and sit on a chair and wait for some guy, and eventually a short sweaty man in his 40s barrelled into the room and saw me on the chair and said to me "hang on a second, i gotta piss like a racehorse" and i felt instantly comfortable and happy to hand my computer over to this man. thats part of why its hard for me to be professional for any length of time, because i think so often about this man and the racehorse piss and how happy i was to hear him say that instead of "hello how can i help you." i do not remember if he fixed my computer.

dude did you just they/them my mom?

Killing the cop in my head for the sexual thrill

As we left the gay club a drag queen walked past us wearing fake tits bigger than her damn entire body and she doffed her sunhat to me like an old English gentleman

it’s andrew in drag time

your playing Mario 64 on your robot and she’s giggling occasionally and you eventually ask her what’s up and she struggles to explain how hilarious these fucked up invisible walls are

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

meow