THE SPIRIT OF LONDON AT NIGHT!!!!

an ant walks into me and I'm immediately ragdolled into the air

pro tip you can just grab a bunch of random parts from dumpsters and hardware stores and computer stores and just attach them together haphazardly and then put it in your suitcase and take it to the airport and get arrested pretty much 100% of the time

whenever someone makes a diddy joke or mentions epstein to win an argument around a sex trafficking victim they should be allowed to kill them

fandom loves nothing more than to look at an interesting story and boldly ask the question: what if we made it boring instead?

I don't know why I have to clarify this but this post was not a laudatory one

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

my name's cougar but my friends call me mountain lion and my mama calls me puma and today's my first day at big cat high. i'm so nervous i hope they don't realize i'm not panthera >ܫ<

emo cheetah jughead smoking behind the school: it's hopeless, catamount. they'll never see us as 'real' big cats... us outcats gotta stick together -ﻌ•

this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play

all cops are bastards because all cops are just doing their jobs

He uh, skipped awful quickly to “stealing gold fillings” didn’t he?

Was about to fall asleep and apropos of nothing was struck out of nowhere by a horrible future vision of a brightly-lit and saccharine 3D-AI Calvin and Hobbes movie with Scarlet Johanssen voicing the mom and Chris Pratt voicing Hobbes and experienced an emotional haptic jerk so chilling I feel like I just foresaw my own death

(Drenched in a cold sweat, visibly shaking) We Need To Warn Bill Watterson

oh thank heavens