THE SPIRIT OF LONDON AT NIGHT!!!!

the translation is significantly more Soviet in tone than the original, which is great

forbidden blue raspberry candy

@kusnechik this post feels uniquely tailored to you. Like putting a shape into the square hole.

Why is so much adult oriented 2d animation bastard ugly, do they know they don’t have to do that? The characters don’t have to projectile vomit all the time either, but maybe that’s asking too much

OGH MY GOD. YES THANK YOU THATS HIM

whenever people talk about regret irt medical transition and top surgery especially i always think of an older cis(ish) butch woman who was always quick to tell anyone she saw binding about how she did it for decades because of severe dysphoria and how she absolutely wrecked her back and now in her old age couldnt comfortably bind anymore but also had other like unrelated health and aging issues that meant she no longer felt safe with the risk of surgery besides what she already needed. and basically that she was put off from surgery because of stupid ftm butch border wars and narratives about regret and unnecessary cosmetic surgeries and what she always told those ppl binding was that they should get surgery as soon as possible and not risk another year of binding and developing back pain or risk the possibility being taken away from them. loved that diva down but every interaction with her was so thoroughly colored by the deep regret she felt at not pursuing transition. that's the kind of regret and longing i think about and worry about irt medical transition far far more than regrets about doing the transitioning in the first place ykwim

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

weighted blanket's not enough i need to be compressed by a hydraulic press

cant do the mutual first memory rb game because i genuinely cant remember anything. i dont know you were all my mutuals at birth. we were joined by the stars and by blogging

m,y first memory is that I Loved You and do still

unfortunate truth of reality is that oftentimes 15 year olds will say/do/believe some stupid bullshit because they are 15 but telling them that they believe that because they are 15 is probably the most counterproductive thing in the entire universe

i remember being 15 and wanting literally nothing more than to be taken seriously and listened to and every thought and feeling i had was dismissed because i was a hormonal teenager. i was well aware at that point that a lot of the things i felt were probably because i was a kid, but that didnt make any of it less real, and being dismissed because of my age 1. did not help 2. did not make me feel better 3. made me angry at and untrustworthy of adults because they refused to listen to me. teenagers are people. kids are people. one of the only major things separating them from adults are experience and wisdom. they have like. you know. interiority

like in YOUR mind you may think youre being helpful by going 'well you're a kid, its not really a big deal, youre okay, youll get over it' but that does not register as "helpful affirmation that everything will turn out fine and the only reason im upset is because of something out of my control so its better to just try and come to terms with it" it registers as 'adult dismissing my real tangible problems and sadness and anger because of my age and inadvertently calling me stupid'