Park Seonghwa is everything

(Mid-Year Review)

We're more than halfway through the year and the hierarchy of yaoi in the Ateez universe is changing. Let's see the current rankings!

San x Wooyoung ⬆️ (prev ↔️)

2026 is the year of WooSan. Their resurgence of eyebrow-raising interactions had many speculating the pair went into contract renegotiations with some kind of weapon in hand. Who could blame us? I mean, come on. Come on. Their year-old airport photos go viral every three months. They started their own youtube channel and their fujo producers repeatedly refer to them as a couple. They contemplated getting another couple friendship tattoo. Even San's denial of them dating sparked a fandom-wide "sure, Jan" reaction. WooSan tv has never been more riveting.

It's in the way they orbit around each other: always touching, always seeking comfort, always looking for a response, always chasing each other's laughter and attention; it's the way San looks at Wooyoung, unable to hide the love in his eyes; it's the way Wooyoung goads him, aiming to break that famous composure. They are each other's first pick. Not even a solo schedule can separate them - they always want to be together. It's the way they're attuned to each other's body language and mannerisms. It's the way they always bicker. It's the way Wooyoung hates sharing his clothes or perfumes but buys for himself whatever San wears. It's the way Wooyoung thinks San is the cutest thing in the world. It's the way they're always messing around in the background, seemingly forgetting about the thousands of eyes watching them. It's the way the whole world shrinks to just the two of them. It's them joking "just let us love each other!" It's the way they've described their relationship as having "a level of closeness" that surpasses what they have with other members. It's the way they know each other's whole heart.

Yunho x Mingi ↔️(prev ↔️)

What a great time to be yungi-pilled: the attention, the touching, the dancing, the joy!! They are always so happy to be in each other's company, doing what they both love. These days, Yunho seems more physically demonstrative and forthright about his desire to be close to Mingi - even sometimes getting a little possessive. Meanwhile, while Mingi may have developed a more independent mindset as his solo career blossomed, his relationship with Yunho remains a priority. Mingi is the first to cheer on Yunho's adventures, from modeling to acting; and he cannot help himself from simping over Yunho whenever the opportunity presents itself.

Hongjoong x Seonghwa ⬇️ (prev ⬆️)

Our favorite decade-long slow-burn romance between two people who are practically already married. After the highs of last year (Lake Como, "My Wife, Seonghwa"), I feared Hongjoong had spent the last of his diamonds and we'd see a regression. Thankfully, Matz Nation stands strong. If anything, Hongjoong has gotten bolder with Seonghwa in the past several months, perhaps alerted to the fact that his fumbling has become a fandom inside joke 😂 Meanwhile, Seonghwa remains as besotted as ever with this strange, charming "bad boy" who calls him a fool. They continually refer to themselves as the mother and father of ATEEZ, they are each other's biggest cheerleaders, and in moments of triumph they still look to each other before anyone else.

We may never get the full story of what happened in that LA villa, but some secrets are theirs to keep (and there's always fanfic).

Mingi x Yeosang ⬆️ (prev ⬇️)

*gasp* A non-government ship in the top 4?! That's the power of MinSang, babyy. These two have the most unusual and compelling chemistry. It's hard to describe, but it's something about how they feel safe enough around each other to let their masks drop a bit. With Mingi, Yeosang gets louder, bolder, a bit more assertive; with Yeosang, Mingi gets softer, sweeter, and sillier. I'll quote @syster19's theory that they're "different kind of freaks in the same font" and you can see that in the way they don't care about (or don't register) breaking the "rules" of being an idol, such as spoiling things, spacing out on camera, pushing back on things they don't enjoy, teasing their fans, and sometimes having the wrong reaction/ saying the wrong thing. This was most apparent during their recent live, which was the funniest 38 minutes of audio I've ever heard.

I just think they enjoy each other. More importantly, they pay attention to each other. Mingi singled Yeosang out for having a "strong" on-stage persona but an "unexpectedly quirky side to him," when they're in private. At a recent fan-sign, Yeosang said: "our ways of thinking are similar. I'm so comfortable with Mingi."

That alone would be enough for any shipper, but they're also, like, really into each other...

Seonghwa x Mingi ⬆️ (prev ↔️)

I was already planning to move HwaGi up a few slots based on the way they've been so enamored with each other during the last several months (clearly something shifted after their Okinawa trip), or the way Seonghwa looked at Mingi during Wanteez BL, or even the way Mingi looked at Seonghwa during 1N2D.

But then their cover of Troublemaker hit the fandom like a steel chair. This is what we call a yaoi chart reversal.

San x Mingi ⬆️ (prev ⬆️)

I am thrilled to see SanGi ascending the rankings! Together, they are an unstoppable force of energy (and noise). They behave like gym bros with a crush; they nudge each other into being sillier and sillier; and they support each other with their trademark loyalty and quiet care.

Wooyoung x Yeosang ↔️ (prev ⬆️)

This pair is rock solid. Wooyoung continues cross every personal and professional boundary when it comes to Yeosang, and Yeosang continues to permit it with fond resignation. Wooyoung brings out a particularly delightful snarky side of Yeosang, and Yeosang makes Wooyoung a little bit feral.

Yunho x Seonghwa ⬆️ (prev ⬆️)

At first, I despaired that this pair would continue to backslide, given we had very few interactions in the first quarter of the year. But THANK GOD for Seonghwa's thirsty ass and Yunho's perpetual oh moments. More importantly, THANK GOD for Now This House Ain't a Home, which brought them together every performance for a loving, and sometimes tearful, embrace.

Yunho x San ↔️ (prev ⬆️)

Our ever-reliable puppy/kitten pair! YunSan stocks were way up at the beginning of the year, from Yunho's impulsive on-stage kiss to San's promised return birthday kiss that never happened 😭 San remains weak to Yunho's good looks, and Yunho clearly adores playing with San whenever they're on camera.

And Yunho said: "that feeling of him fitting perfectly in my arms...I guess I liked the way he fit right in my arms..."

San x Yeosang ⬆️ (prev ⬆️ )

These two remain painfully cute together. Yeosang boasted that he got to wish San happy birthday before the other members; San came on live to gush about how much he loved Yeosang's blonde hair.

Of course, we gotta talk about San's campaign to win Yeosang's affections in Wanteez. In the end, he triumphed over the other suitors.

Yunho x Wooyoung ⬆️ (prev ↔️)

Once again, boykisser3000 and and his partner in crime (codename: puppyluvsfeet) are competitive in the rankings. They saw other pairs surging ahead and took it as a challenge to be gayer than ever.

They flirted their way through Wanteez BL, with Yunho asking Wooyoung if he'd like to hook up come over and eat ramyeon; then they conspired to make their respective partners jealous during the fanmeeting by doing a little troublemaking of their own; and just the other day Wooyoung tried to land a nice big smooch on the cheek. One of these days, Yunho won't pretend to be so surprised.

Jongho x Yeosang ⬇️ (prev ↔️)

I know my jongsang mutuals will hate me for this, but I'm sorry to say this ship has lost some steam. That doesn't mean we've run out of momentum: we had some excellent bear hugs this first half of the year and a particularly 👀 moment against a wall. I have faith in this pair (Jongho in particular) to get us back on track by the end of the year.

Hongjoong x Wooyoung ⬇️ (prev ⬆️)

Beloved Topaz, a ship propelled by rage-baiting, biting, and clingy affection.

Mingi x Hongjoong ⬇️ (prev ↔️)

I am personally saddened to see MinJoong slipping down in the rankings. Despite our delulu headcanon that Body was about their situationship gone sour, we haven't had too many compelling interactions lately. However, they are charmingly consistent: Mingi with his blunt sincerity ("I found myself thinking it would be an absolute honor just to be able to join [Hongjoong] on that journey") and Hongjoong with his inability to keep his hands off Mingi whenever they're within touching distance. Please give us a unit song this year!!

Yunho x Jongho ⬆️ (prev ↔️)

Can you believe they're so high on this list?? What a year it's been for 2Ho! When they first dropped some cute bts pics from Adrenaline promo, I cheered, thinking we'd finally have enough to last the desolate months ahead. But then, they kept getting paired up, revealing themselves to be a hilarious duo who absolutely commits to the bit.

Then, the yaoi gods delivered another bounty: an entire romance arc in Wanteez BL. We got to see suave, confident Jongho pursue shy, nerdy Yunho, and Yunho was - for once - caught on his back foot. Then, we were given another treat: a unit song during the fanmeeting, wherin Yunho and Jongho step into the roles of an established couple trying to work through their issues. We got to hear their beautiful voices together, which was a bonus.

I've been spoiled but I'm still greedy. More 2ho!!

San x Jongho ⬆️ (prev ↔️)

There is so much love between these two, and it's expressed so differently. San is demonstrative in his affections while Jongho is quieter, yet no less supportive of his hyung. When he needs it, Jongho becomes San's place to rest. They are my ultimate comfort pair.

Wooyoung x Mingi ↔️ (prev ↔️)

I always perk up when I see WooGi interactions. They are so much fun! There's a bit of unpredictability in their encounters: sometimes Wooyoung wants to play, and Mingi is happy to oblige; other times, Mingi initiates but gets the cold shoulder. That doesn't mean Mingi gives up, sometimes poking his black cat just to get a reaction. When both are feeling frisky, it's fireworks.

Jongho x Mingi ↔️ (prev ↔️)

We had fewer interactions this first half of the year, but what we had was great. These two with their delicious subversion of the hyung-dongsaeng relationship. There is so much teasing affection between them, but with a foundation of true care.

"Come to think of it...why did he call today? After I end this live, I'll call him and find out why he called. But knowing Mingi-hying, he might've just wanted to hear my voice."

Hongjoong x Yunho ↔️ (prev ⬇️)

HoHong celebrated their 10 year anniversary this year, which reminded us of how much we adore our Captain and his First Mate. We did not have many shipper-friendly interactions this year (so far), but there was something so precious about Hongjoong staying up past midnight in Korea so he could like all of Yunho's fashion week posts. I adore their important, unspoken bond.

Wooyoung x Seonghwa ↔️ (prev ↔️)

I'm always so happy to see these two messing around. Wooyoung loves to tease his hyung and rattle his polished serenity. Mostly, he gets the biggest case of cuteness aggression around Seonghwa, and who could blame him? Seonghwa feels the same way about Wooyoung, his baby black kitten.

San x Seonghwa ⬇️ (prev ↔️)

SanHwa have a pretty disarming quality as a pair: they'll be acting all cute and funny with each other and then BOOM, the two hottest guys in the world are getting real chummy on the dancefloor.

Jongho x Wooyoung ⬇️ (prev ↔️)

The cutoff for this post was technically at the end of July, but these two just had to test me by getting all touchy at the Japan fanmeeting AND THEN Wooyoung wrestled Jongho into submission to the tune of Troublemaker. This is typical of ragebaiter x ragebaiter dynamic. I only wish we had more from them!

Hongjoong x Yeosang ↔️ (prev ↔️)

There's something so precious about this pair. It's the way Hongjoong wanted to do the Pretty Girl stage with Yeosang because "pretty" is what comes to mind when Hongjoong sees him. It's also the way Hongjoong makes sure to include Yeosang in every English-language interview; the way he's so quietly protective of his sweet boy. And it's the way Yeosang puts so much trust in their leader to make sure he never loses his way.

Seonghwa x Yeosang ⬆️ (prev ↔️)

So soft...so sweet!! Remember when Seonghwa was overcome with cuteness aggression during their joint live? Remember when Yeosang wished Seonghwa happy birthday and offered to switch spots with him for makeup? What else can I say but I LOVE SEONGSANG!!

Seonghwa x Jongho ⬇️ (prev ↔️)

I'll cherish the moments we shared this year, from Seonghwa dancing along to Jongho's guitar, to this cute little embrace, and - most importantly - Seonghwa's words of encouragement for Jongho at his first fashion week.

...please, do a lego live for the love of fujoshis everywhre!!

Hongjoong x San ⬇️ (prev ↔️)

The yaoi gods are being so stingy with these two, which is a shame since their visuals are so delicious. Mostly, I love how San (like Mingi) gets really still whenever Hongjoong touches him and just lets himself be played with, like a human dealing with a prickly cat. Unlike Mingi, San will sometimes get pretty playful himself and forget that Hongjoong is only three apples tall.

Yunho x Yeosang ⬇️ (prev ⬇️)

A fan-fave pair, but one that continues to serve only crumbs. We had a delightful and memorable live a few months ago, which reminded us of just how cute they are together. Other than that, we know they fit into a tiny little bath at the hot springs. We'll have to use our imagination to fill in the rest.

Hongjoong x Jongho ⬇️ (prev ⬇️)

I despaired when I searched by HongHo tags and found only a handful of interactions. How do we get another Moving Voices in the works?? I'm holding onto this short clip of Jongho manhandling Hongjoong with everything I have...

That's it for the State of the Ship!

Thanks for stopping by, and let me know what you think. Do you agree or disagree with my rankings? What are your predictions for the year-end roundup?

💬: How was today’s shoot? ⭐️: I felt a bit strange. The outfit style was very similar to the vibe I used to pursue in the past. So it felt like seeing my past self, but it also felt mixed with who I am now. Should I say it felt like my past self and my present self were together? I think my fans will find it refreshing when they see it too. I always like trying new things. Since there are limits to human potential, I wondered, is it possible for me to show a new side of me here yet again? But I'm happy that I could show a new side through this collaboration with ARENA.

💬: I heard you gave a lot of input during the shoot. It seems you tend to participate actively during photoshoots? ⭐️: I try to give as much input as I can within my capabilities. Of course, if the creative team has a specific direction they are pursuing I sometimes leave it entirely up to them. After all, my own ideas ultimately come from my own perspective, so they could end up being repetitive. My mindset is to always accept the directions recommended to me openly. Today, I really clicked with the stylist. That’s why the synergy was so good.

💬: Seeing how you offer your input while being aware of even the smallest details, you must genuinely enjoy doing photoshoots. ⭐️: I really love it. I feel like my personal satisfaction level goes up every time I do a photoshoot. Although I am currently active as an idol, I consider these photoshoots as a time to develop my own color. There is a side I show as part of the team, and then there is a side I can show as an individual. That’s why I cherish these moments.

💬: I heard your time participating in the Paris Collection was also memorable. What was particularly different this time? ⭐️: I’ve walked the runway three times so far, and this time I really prepared a lot. Since it was my third time, I had accumulated experience and practiced a lot. So I was less nervous and was able to enjoy the experience with a bit more professionalism. Of course, professional models might still see many areas for improvement, but because I personally put in so much effort I was able to be satisfied with myself.

💬: Do you prepare in advance regarding what kind of vibe you want to express before walking the runway? ⭐️: I always think about it, but there are difficulties. I don't know what clothes, shoes, or hairstyle I will wear until the day before. So I prepare for every possible scenario. I try walking powerfully, then try walking with a slightly more relaxed and slower vibe. Then, once I find out what I'll be wearing, I adjust accordingly. I even practice walking in the hotel hallways the night before (laughs). In the morning, I go to the gym and do some image training too. I'm the type to plan out every single detail. That way, I don't have any regrets. I do everything I can so that even if I fail, I won't feel ashamed of myself.

💬: Group activities and solo activities must feel quite different, what is the difference? ⭐️: The difference in pressure is huge. When I promote with the team, there aren't many situations that feel particularly stressful. That's because I have members who are like family by my side. On the other hand, the pressure increases when I'm alone. I believe that I exist because ATEEZ exists. I'm not just Seonghwa, "ATEEZ" stands always in front of my own name, and because I go out as ATEEZ's Seonghwa, I feel I have to do even better. People will recognize me and think, "Oh, this guy is in ATEEZ." When I work solo people only look at me and judge me by my actions, skills, and attitude, so my standards for myself become higher. Of course, there is that kind of pressure, but there are also great advantages like being able to fulfill what I personally want to do, just like in today's photoshoot.

💬: With that mindset, returning to the team after finishing solo activities must bring a special feeling. ⭐️: When I first did solo activities it felt fascinating. It wasn't so much that I liked the moment when all eyes were solely focused on me, it simply felt fascinating. I realized, "Ah, so this is what doing solo activities feels like." When I meet up with the members after doing individual schedules or returning from vacation, I feel so at ease. Now, where the members are feels like home. Even when I visit my parents' home, meeting the members puts me at ease. Seeing the seven of us, including myself, still being a bit immature (with each other) just warms my heart. It’s fascinating how I grow more affectionate and fond of them as time goes by.

💬: What do you think is the reason the ATEEZ members are so close? ⭐️: It's probably because we went through so many difficult times together. We didn't start out in a big company, and in a market where you never know when you might disappear, we felt anxious every single day. But things have changed now. We are now able of doing so many things and we've gained confidence. We were able to get through that process safely because the members were together. Also, the members are all very considerate. We blend so well with each other, one might wonder, "where on earth did they find friends like this?"

💬: You released two mini-albums in the first half of the year. What did you pay special attention to while preparing? ⭐️: I put a lot of effort into the recording process. This song was created by a producer team in the UK so the local producer's voice was in the guide track and capturing that exact vibe was really difficult. It was a challenge for me as well. To perform it I did a lot of image training to figure out what kind of character I should act out. It wasn't easy since during that period the preparations for the fashion show and the recording overlapped, but I remember preparing (for it) really hard.

💬: If actors grow after finishing a project, singers grow after releasing an album. What did you gain after wrapping up these promotions? ⭐️: I gained another character as Seonghwa. I like changing my style to fit the music with every album. I now have a pretty good idea of what makes me look handsome and cool, but if I only ever do that I feel like I'm stuck in that same place. Since I am ATEEZ's Seonghwa, I believe I need to find a version of myself that fits within ATEEZ's music. Of course, it isn't easy. I feel like I hit a wall every time. It would be most comfortable if I just did what suited me best, but for now I still believe it's right to keep challenging myself. In that sense, these promotions were also a time for me to create yet another character of my own.

💬: It seems "style" here doesn't just refer to fashion alone ⭐️: It includes attitude as well. For example, when we were promoting Adrenaline, I wanted to show the image of a strong warrior. The vibe was kind of like a fantasy character in a post-apocalyptic world. On the other hand, while promoting BAD this time, I didn't mean I was actually a bad guy, but within that title I wanted to become one. So I went for a more intense styling and tried to give off a slightly more cocky vibe with my facial expressions too. It feels like I'm tailoring myself to a specific role depending on the song. I like adopting those attitudes. Of course, that shouldn't carry over into my daily life, it's only who I am on stage.

💬: Then what kind of person is Seonghwa off the stage in his daily life? ⭐️: When I'm out having fun it still feels like I'm a high school kid (laughs). If I see something cute I want to buy it, and I also like things like miniatures. I enjoy taking walks and meeting up with friends too.

💬: It seems the strong character you immerse yourself in on stage doesn't affect your daily life. ⭐️: I'm actually pretty good at switching on and off. I don't get too absorbed in my roles. On stage, I stay in character to fit the performance, but in daily life I naturally switch back from that persona.

💬: If you find joy in creating a persona and immersing yourself in it, aren't you also interested in acting? ⭐️: I would love to do it if the opportunity arose. But I believe it's right to do it only when I'm truly prepared. Although I have participated in a project before, I haven't properly learned acting yet. When the opportunity comes someday and if I'm prepared, I want to try. (It means) I shouldn't cause any trouble for those who are currently working hard in acting. Me wanting to do it and the audience being satisfied with it are two different things. Ultimately, it's a profession where you have to do well. I want to prepare thoroughly and take on the challenge.

💬: It sounds like right now, you prefer to focus on group activities. ⭐️: That's right. That's part of it too. Right now, doing group activities perfectly is extremely important. I also worry, "What if taking my attention elsewhere affects the team negatively?" Since we plan to promote and we look at ATINY for a long time, I think doing it later won't be too late. I just feel like it is right to focus a little more on team activities right now.

💬: It has already been about eight years since your debut. You've grown beyond comparison compared to back then, haven't you? What is the area where you feel you've grown the most? ⭐️: My mindset. I’m someone with a weak mentality, you know? I still can’t say I’m strong, but during this time I’ve learned a lot about how to overcome things on my own, how to comfort and love myself. Of course, there are still days when I break down. When that happens, I just tell ATINY that things have been a bit hard lately. It’s not because I want them to notice or do something for me, I just want to share even these emotions with them. I go back and forth between wanting to hide the negative feelings because I’m afraid they might worry and not wanting to hide them at all despite that.

💬: In what areas did you try to overcome things yourself? ⭐️: Self-esteem. I worked really hard to boost my self-esteem. IIt has improved quite a bit now, but back when I was a trainee I felt that the members next to me were so good at dancing, singing and rapping, and also had outstanding looks, so I could never be satisfied with myself. I was supposed to compete only with myself, but constantly comparing myself to the members was eating away at me. Then, after debuting and meeting ATINY, I started to change little by little. I also learned how to love myself. Now, I want to share this story with people who are going through similar struggles.

💬: Struggling with self-esteem is so difficult to overcome that anyone would want to know the secret. How did you manage to so such a difficult thing? ⭐️: You have to acknowledge and accept it. In the past, I couldn't admit my shortcomings, but once I accepted that I was lacking and changed my mindset toward trying harder, my inferiority complex disappeared. The envy and jealousy I felt looking at others disappeared, and eventually only comparisons with myself remained. That is what's truly important.

💬: Have you gotten used to world tours and being under the spotlight? ⭐️: I thought I had gotten used to it but this time, when we headlined the BST Hyde Park festival in London, I teared up on stage. I was just so happy. As I was looking at the fans I thought, "Ah, I'm still not used to moments like these." Of course, as it something repetitive, there might be days when I get exhausted or feel like I just want to finish quickly and rest. However, even if it's just for one person who came to see us, I try my best. The tears were also because of gratitude.

💬: So is being on stage the moment you shine the brightest? ⭐️: That's right. I feel alive. The stage is our reason for existence. That's why we can't afford to take any concert or any tour lightly. All eight of us share the same mindset of doing our best, even if for just one person.

💬: What aspects did you specifically want to showcase during the last tour? ⭐️: While preparing for my solo stage, I wanted to build an image that is uniquely my own. I thought, "What is an image that only I can show within ATEEZ?" I considered that expressing conceptual and fantastical elements is my strength, so I put a lot of thought into everything, from the costumes to the stage direction. Since the concept was a snake, I prepared a performance where I took off my jacket, as if shedding skin. I thought this was an absolutely crucial part so I was incredibly nervous before doing it. I hoped ATINY would be surprised and seeing their reaction was truly thrilling.

💬: You plan to continue expanding Seonghwa's unique worldview in the future, right? ⭐️: If possible I would like to expand it. "What would a story unique to Seonghwa, derived from ATEEZ, be like?", I have thoughts like that all the time.

💬: Since you’ve been touring the world performing, I suppose you could say you’ve achieved the dreams you held in the past, right? Even so, other dreams arise, right? What is a new dream of yours? ⭐️: I didn't think I would have any new dreams but they keep coming up. It’s fascinating how various dreams emerge one by one, even if they aren’t grand, like wanting to publish a book someday, participate in a fencing competition or play the guitar on stage. As a team too, in the past we had the dream of making it onto the Billboard 200 chart, and we've achieved that. We also achieved our dream of entering the Billboard Hot 100. Because of that, a new dream also emerged, that maybe we could win first place on all three major music shows. When we won first place on all three shows with GOLDEN HOUR : Part4 this time, I actually cried. "What we've done all this time wasn't in vain," that's what I felt. "As you live, a day like this actually comes."

💬: You’ve come this far while achieving countless dreams, and a lot has changed along the way. Even so, if there is one thing that hasn't changed from the beginning until now, what is it? ⭐️: It’s that we never do anything half-heartedly. Before a concert starts, I can hear the members’ voices through my in-ear. Right before going on stage, we always say, basically shouting, to not care about how many people showed up today and to just give it our all. When we go on after shouting that, I get goosebumps in that moment. Never doing a single stage half-heartedly, that is the side of ATEEZ that hasn't changed to this day.

💬: Here is the last question. What kind of person is "cool"? ⭐️: You know the saying "a good adult." I would like to express that as a "good person." The word "good" carries various meanings, but everyone can understand it. You can feel it even while shaking hands and looking into someone's eyes. When I was young, I thought someone who looked great on the outside was cool but now I think, "wouldn't a good person be someone who's truly cool?"

We got:

Two pretty best friends

Two sexy best friends

Two high school boyfriends

And then

TWO SLUTS!!! HOMOTRON3000 KING OF THE QUEERS FT CUNT SLUTULA OVERLORD OF THE GAYS OLYMPIC CHAMPION IN SLUTDROPPING HIDE YOUR SONS DAUGHTERS YOUR WHOLE FAMILY COVER YOUR EYES THEY WILL FUCK ON STAGE!!!

What a day

WHAT

A

DAY

I am so incredibly proud of Seonghwa for getting the chance to publish his poetry! And so inspired by his courage to share his innermost vulnerable feelings. His honesty and openness about his struggles fascinate me... I look at him so genuine and sincere and it shocks me because I know I do not have the courage to be so open with my feelings, and so determined to let my voice help other people feel less alone. But he's doing it. He took his expression of pain and struggle and is hoping that it will help someone find peace in a dark night.

Damn right it's 'thank u' !!!!