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@humanitys

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idk man like i am of course the number one believer that if you're raised in a very culturally conservative environment you need to put your whole pussy into deconstructing the ideas and flawed reasoning and thought schemas you were raised with and not just substituting one language of orthodoxy for another and calling yourself progressive. but it will never set right with me that "having MAGA/republican family members" is treated like a valid gotcha against anyone if they themselves do not subscribe to those beliefs. like yeah like 40-50% of the country is conservative to some degree. a lot of people think that shit. isn't the point that we WANT there to be more people willing to walk away from the political beliefs they've been raised with? why are we holding people responsible for what their dad thinks?
#my wife is on the SOR for being gay #no joke #she hit on a girl in a straight bar once #in 1997 #and while the girl was into it #the off duty cop sitting nearby was not #and so he arrested her for ‘soliciting homosexual activity’ #which in our state was still a felony #in 1997 (and would remain so until Lawrence v Texas in 2003) #and since ‘soliciting homosexual activity’ was a felony and a sex crime #she got put on The List #she is still on there to this day #because it costs MONEY to ask a judge to take you off #and she has tried four times#since 2003 #to get taken off the SOR #but every time the judge has said something like ‘no you pled guilty to the crime i can’t possibly take you off the sex offender registry’ #with no acknowledgement of what the actual crime was #(the crime of being a butch lesbian hitting on a cute girl who was into it) #(in 1997)
Reposting these tags with consent from the person that wrote them. The post about the Sex Offenders Registry is locked, but these tags are too important to go unnoticed.
Younger queer people need to realize that the SOR being used against queer people simply for being queer isn’t some ancient history thing. It still impacts queer people today. And it can quite easily be used that way again.
Listen!
When you hear people throwing around the talking point of “well there’s a high rate of sex offenders in the trans/queer community”, this has to do with why.
Being on the sex offender registry isn’t inherently equivalent to whatever horrific sex crime you’re meant to think of when it’s mentioned. It evokes imagery of pedophilia and rape, but there is a lot that can get you put on it and not a lot you can do to be taken off of it.
Public crossdressing used to be able to get you put on the sex offender registry (and by used to I mean as recently as 2011).
Public urination (you know, the literal only option for someone who’s homeless and doesn’t have access to public bathrooms, a venn diagram where trans people are more likely to rest in the meeting zone) can get you put on the sex offender registry.
Sex work is pretty much an automatic way to end up on the sex offender registry if you’re caught. (This is especially weaponized against black trans women who do sex work)
“Deviant Sexual Intercourse” (aka literally any sexual activity aside from penis-in-vagina penetration) could get you on the sex offender registry as recently as the early 2000s. That effectively impacts the entire queer community in one way or another.
The sex offender registry is, first and foremost, useless. It tells you nothing about what someone did. It’s mentioned to quickly associate a person or a group of people with the worst possible crimes imaginable.
It has been used against us time after time and it will continue to be used for that.
And this is where the push of purity discourse in fandom shows its fetid, fascist underbelly.
This is why they are making being trans in public a felony in some states.
When you decide that people who commit a certain crime or category of crime should legally lose their humanity, you create incentive for more people to be charged with that crime.
But, is your current President on that list? 🤔🤔🤔
In a hypothetical future in which Trump loses power and the Democrats grow a spine and try to sue him, I don’t want The State to be able to take away Donal Trump’s human rights.
I will throw a party if the next shooter hits their mark.
But I don’t want The State to be able to take away Donal Trump’s human rights. Because I don’t want The State to be able to take away anyone’s human rights.
Because the moment they can (which is right now), they target marginalized people. They target refugees. They target trans people. They target people of color. They target disabled people. They’re doing it all right now. Oppressing minorities is What States Do.
The potential joy I would feel if the state punished 1 evil billionaire isn’t worth the harm to millions of people that always always results from the state having that power.
I think over the years I’ve realized that assuming people you don’t understand are stupid by default is just like a mental shortcut to avoid having to think about why people act the way that they do.
I’ve kind of gotten tired of people doing that I guess. I used to do it, so I get it, but I’ve also figured out that you can learn a lot if you don’t assume by default that people are stupid. Almost everyone is fairly intelligent in some form or another, actually.
when a government bans young people from using social media, and then categorises messenger apps like Signal and WhatsApp as "social media", they are pushing those young people toward using text messages, a fundamentally insecure form of communication. texts are not encrypted in transit and can be read by both the sender's mobile carrier and the recipient's. that also means they can be leaked in data breaches, subpoenaed, or just handed over willingly to law enforcement at the carriers' discretion.
hmm. I wonder why governments might want this

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reasons i think requiring a diagnosis of a widely stigmatised condition (psychosis, schizophrenia, autism, etc) before help can be accessed fucking sucks as a concept:
duh. look at it.
don't like being on a convenient list for if people one day in the future decide i don't have rights/aren't a full competent person anymore, all so i can access basic assistance to help me achieve what is already my human right to have
what if you have these problems, or similar ones, and you don't have that condition yet could still benefit. isn't it worth opening up the assistance to everyone with the problem, rather than everyone with the problem caused by this specific thing
i should be in charge of everything forever.
Once when I was in undergrad, someone described something as “problematic” in class and our professor was like, “That’s cool, but ‘problematic’ doesn’t really mean anything. It means that the thing you’re describing has a problem, and in and of itself that’s not bad. Art, especially, should always have problems, or else it’s not interesting and not art, either. It sounds like you’re trying to say that this is bad, but you don’t want to say ‘bad.’ Is that right?”
So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”
Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.
Anyway. Whenever I see the word problematic, I can’t help but think of this professor being like, “Good starting point, now let’s get specific.” I think when we have to commit to saying “that’s ___” it requires a lot more careful thought about the truth and impact and complexities of whatever we’re claiming. Sometimes there really is some bullshit afoot, and also sometimes it’s art, and it should be full of problems, because that’s what art is.
#'this is present in the text' is often a good first step #but those second and third ones (naming it; describing its function) are vital (via @elucubrare)
we gotta get back to torrent distribution, i just watched someone eat eight grand in bandwidth charges because they ran a direct-download piracy site with local file hosting through cloudflare. torrents were invented literally for this exact reason
torrents work like this
i have a file or folder on my pc that i want to share with other people. let's call it gayshit.mp3
unfortunately gayshit.mp3 is 750mb and im not paying for discord nitro so i need another way to send it
i put it into qbittorrent and it makes a torrent file. this is essentially a very small file that points to gayshit.mp3 so other computers can find it. kinda like a treasure map
i send this tiny file to my friend, who loads it into qbittorrent. their computer takes a moment to find mine over the vast expanse of cyberspace and then (as long as my pc is running and the file is still where it should be), it gets copied from my hard drive to theirs
this is the cool part: if somebody else loads that tiny file, they can download it from both of us. if i'm offline but my friend is on, the third person can still get it. this also means that if two people have separate halves of the file, they can download the other half from each other. as long as some combination of people have the pieces between them, they can all have the whole thing.
crucially this does not require a server!!! you can just upload the file to a few people and as long as they keep it, it's still accessible. as long as somebody, somewhere is still connected, it's available forever. the only way it goes away is if everybody disconnects from it.
please learn to torrent
An expert guide to get started using torrentsTorrents are one of the most popular forms of file sharing on the internet, accounting for over
always use qbittorrent, do not use bittorrent or utorrent.
thinking about like growing up like you do and. when you're disabled or nd or whatever, you're kinda always struggling to get a foot in the door wrt getting on with peers, family, teachers, etc. which means you're always stuck at least half outside. and if you're lucky something you do is considered endearing/pitiful/funny enough that people respond positively to it. like making jokes (speaking normally) or being the group dunderhead (asking questions) or the baby or the sad little puppy or whatever. and it's not really acceptance but it is a form of social approval even though you're both making jokes and the joke at the same time. and i think one thing that we learn to do is to lean into this. pretend not to understand something we do, act silly, joke about being the dumb one or whatever it is. be helpless because it's just so endearing. and you c.an get a surprising amount of approval this way, because you're essentially playing to people's biases and expectations. but there's something about growing a bit older and finding it tired. and having to make a decision to throw away that clown suit and sorta just be yourself. the yourself that people might have unlikable or annoying or boring. and it's hard to throw away something that was part of your identity for so long because, more than anything else, it forces you to demand respect from other people. to acknowledge that, actually, yeah you're a person and not a circus dog. and maybe, actually, them treating you like that was a fault on their behalf. that actually it's wrong and you can ask for respect. that someone like you wanting to be respected as a human being isn't a joke or a laughing matter. and the people who treat it like it is kinda suck actually.
this kinda of thinking becomes so engrained i was gonna make a joke right after this post like "I'm also thinking about apple juice". or something. but like actually it really brings me nothing to undermine myself like that. you can be likable, you can be funny even, without acting like anything vulnerable or serious you say is actually just some massive joke

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the place I work at remodeled these split gendered restrooms into “inclusive restrooms” and never told us what they meant while construction was ongoing. I need you to know every atom of potential criticism or whining that could’ve happened disappeared when people found out this meant we got 10 fully separate private bathrooms with sinks inside. I’ve not heard a single person crack a joke about the inclusive signage. this is the world TERFs are trying to steal from you
This is called a "superloo" and terfs are actively trying to steal this from you, in the UK they changed bathroom regulations to mean new buildings have to prioritise gendered toilets rather than build superloos.
This also upset a lot of architects and designers who like the superloos. They're also typically more like small rooms rather than having doors you can look under.
people like saying community when they mean demographic
"i do not treat you with any of the tolerance or care that a community implies. nevertheless, i perceive your identity as being related to me in such a way that i feel entitled to you and your behaviors conforming to an arbitrary set of standards that i have. if you fail to comply, i will mobilize a social-based deterrence to 'correct' you to the best of my means."
People who do this are basically practicing the Home Owners Association definition of community.
Which doesn't mean we gotta throw out the word community, any more than we should throw out words like 'solidarity' just because they aren't always practiced the way we'd like. Calling ourselves a community rather than a demographic might be purely aspirational in some cases, but that aspiration is a reminder to build communities.
And speaking of the trans community: we need that. I can not overstate how much we will only survive if we're willing to house and feed each other, buy each other medication and get out of bed at 3 AM to sit with a distant acquaintance who just had their whole world fall apart.
We can be a demographic online, but in the world world we gotta hold each other. We gotta keep trying even if our efforts are imperfect, because if we settle for being a demographic, many of us won't survive.
I actually do think we should discourage women from becoming housewives. Do not become financially dependent on a man. That's how a lot of women ended up dead over the years. A man gets violent suddenly and you have to choose between homelessness or potentially dying at his hand because you have an enormous gap in your resume and no degrees or certifications or anything that will help you pursue a career that will allow you to be financially independent. He owns your bank account. His name is probably the one on the car. Try and leave and he can report it stolen. Where will you go then?
Don't become a housewife.
And if you do become a housewife, take steps to protect yourself. Make sure you’re legally married, for starters; stay-at-home girlfriends have very little legal recourse to claim their partner’s assets in a breakup. Make sure your name is on the house deed/rental agreement, and have your car in your name, even if your spouse is paying for it. Have your spouse transfer money every month into an account solely in your name, so you can buy yourself things without needing permission, but also so you can save up to leave if needed.
If your spouse fights you on any of this, then don’t quit your job. The tradwife to poverty pipeline is real, and so is financial abuse.
also, many women/people experience controlling behaviour and domestic violence from their partner for the first time during pregnancy. don’t risk thinking “he’s just stressed, it’ll get better when the baby comes” because it won’t. neither you and your child will ever be safe with that man. get out as early and safely as you can
I can't remember where I read it last week, but the person discussed how when we think of chattel slavery in the US, we tend to think of massive plantations of cotton or tobacco, with one very rich white master or mistress with lots of land and lots of enslaved people. But we very rarely think of the many families that had just one or two slaves, in smaller homes.
Because it's not like you had to pay them, so once your family owned someone, they owned them and their descendants indefinitely. Could you pay and eventually free em- sure! You could also send them anywhere you want for any labor you want, could have an enslaved woman bred for more children, or maybe save up and buy new slaves and sell the old. Like cattle (thus, chattel slavery).
So it's interesting that many people go "oh well it's not like my family owned slaves!" Because like, one, how do you know that? Have you ever actually asked your grandmas about their grandmas? How many of your family members grew up with mammies? Have you ever asked? I wonder how many people have actually done the digging for the truth (or was it easier to just benefit). Because I've talked to my grandma, who picked cotton in the sea islands. She had to have been doing that for someone in the 1930s and 40s!
And two, it's easy to think that because your family (or someone else's) didn't own sprawling stolen land and generational blood money like a plantation owner, that it wasn't as important. But... It was. That was still someone's entire life. That was a person, whose labor benefitted and saved a family money that could be used in other ventures. How often do we think of them?
"sex should be less stigmatized and talked about more" and "you should always make sure people who dont want to consume sexual media that you present dont have to see it" are two statements that can and should coexist. by the way.

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people love the idea of the mean girl nurse pipeline because it problematises medical abuse as a personal perversion rather than understanding it as a product of broadly held ableist values and its like, if this was only about ontologically evil teenage girls choosing to enter a profession because of their unique sadism then you really wouldnt expect to see the exact same forms of abuse pervading all arrangements of paid, unpaid, formal, ad hoc, and familial caretaking as well -- its more comforting to believe the nurse was just a preexisting bad person than that most of the world broadly hates disabled people and will abuse, neglect, and gaslight them if given power over their care
need a polite way to say "im not engaging in a discussion on this topic with you because the conclusions you have reached are based on so many interwoven layers of misconceptions it would be easier to just like, hard reset your whole brain, just start over as a baby and try again"