lately my kids have been playing Baby Knife, which consists of somebody acting as a baby with knife hands chasing people while going "baby knife baby knife" over and over. is this a thing or are they just insane

we have a new teacher this year who has never had kindergarten before & she rounded em all up & told em No Baby Knife and No Zombies and idk how to tell her that 1. all kindergarten recess games boil down to Give Birth And Kill Each Other and 2. the absurd vaguely inappropriate games they make up are usually better than when they try to play an Actual game like soccer

Baby Knife is straightforward. theres a baby knife. baby knife chases you. thats about it. when they try to play Real Sports every single child is playing by a different set of rules unbeknownst to the others and none of them are playing by the Actual rules. everybody is mad at everybody else and running up to tell on their colleagues for cheating every 3 minutes. this doesnt happen when they play Baby Knife

We were incredibly boring. We played "murder ball" which was just Capture the Flag over the whole school grounds (outdoors only) and violence was permitted using the ball.

We played a version of freeze tag where when you were frozen you became a toilet and in order to be unfrozen someone would have to sit on you and then flush (ie use the toilet)

It's very important to me that Shane finds Ilya extremely adorable. Like yes, that is the hottest man he's ever seen, but like, that's also the man who puff out his cheeks, frown and sigh dramaticly at the minorest of inconveniences, that man, atleast to Shane, is so so cute Shane sometimes has to clench his fists to let the cuteness aggression subside because it's either this or he's squeezing Ilya's face until he looks like a puffer fish and kissing him all over.

it's hard being a polyamorous action hero because whenever i have flashbacks to all my dead wives it takes like 20 minutes to get through all of it

it kind of sounds like youre just feeding local women to the deadwife montage