Trash Heap

Arthurian knight kink, by which I mean our RP scene must be prefaced with a lengthy apologetics establishing that it totally happened exactly like this and any other chronicler who tells it differently is full of shit.

I'm going to need you to approach me three times in a series of increasingly flimsy disguises by which I will be utterly fooled, each time asking me one of these five riddles, and you have to act like you're genuinely mad when I get the answers wrong. I can't get it up if the scorn isn't sincere.

ice water is awesome because you get more water in your water

you think youre out of water but then you check back in five minutes and woah! theres more water! the world is so beautiful

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

Oh wow.

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

im realizing very fast that people do not in fact know that sometimes things in stories suck on purpose and it sucking is the point

How is it that you can a music library of like 1,200+ absolute bangers but as soon as you put it on shuffle in a group setting it's like. anime opening you added in 2010. homestuck parody song. musical artist who was cancelled last year for kidnapping and eating children in his basement. Hamilton

I can't believe some people are actually reblogging this like "Tch. Omg, so embarrassing OP, I can't believe you would ever admit to liking Hamilton 😏 " like ok, first of all congratulations for hatching as a fully formed adult in 2022 from the pure white egg of a virgin swan i guess. Raised in a cave on a diet consisting solely of nuts and berries and leftist twitter clapbacks. "ooooooh, I've never had a complicated relationship with a piece of art that was phenomenally well-received at the time but aged like milk as later reflection revealed the fundamental flaws in its premise that were in fact present from its inception but which I didn't notice because I was 17 and hadn't heard of neoliberalism yet" Should we throw a party? Should we invite Anthony Fantano? Anyway second of all. you draw the line at Lin Manuel Miranda but you're fine with basement guy?

I recently saw an actual news article censor the words "sexual" and "molest." Fucking shit hell fuck shit fuck.

Cats crave routine so much that if you don't give them any, they'll invent some for you and then get pissed off if you don't follow the secret rules that they decided for the household

Older women are so, so beautiful, and older trans women are no exception. Celebrate the beauty of our elders! Celebrate trans beauty!

HIS HAIR HIS COSTUME HIS FACE MARKS YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESSSSSS

Sick list of symptoms bro. Now try humanizing your behavior instead of pathologizing it.

If you run over someone's foot with your wheelchair you still apologise

just once I want to see a good post critiquing makeup culture that doesn’t turn out to be made by some janky radfem blog

Really, five products could work, even 3. Just frame the face, eyes, lips, and you’re done.

I would really just suggest some powder foundation, concealer, mascara and lipgloss/lipstick, or tbh just mascara works too, but that’s up to you

I’m sorry if I didn’t express this clearly enough in the original post but I’m not really looking for more concise makeup regiments. my intention was to point out how it’s Bad that makeup is considered a bare minimum at all, regardless of individual feelings on the matter

Really the only makeup you need is eyeliner but that’s just my personal opinion

Official graveyard post

stop telling people I’m dead

I also need to know why Mulder and Scully both write their field notes/reports the way they do. Like imagine having to go over those and you just read the most introspective piece of work ever written and it's about dung eating cockroachs from another planet 😂

“autism wouldn’t have been difficult before capitalism” “nothing that caused me burnout existed before industrialization” well what if your boots feel weird against your skin. and your cape is itchy and too heavy. and your brooch keeps making an annoying sound everytime you move and this party is too loud and you’re hungry and there’s pigeon stew but you can’t stand the texture of pigeon so you ate some olives and now your hands feel oily and gross and you drank a little bit too much wine (bc there’s no clear water. also it was too bitter) so now your head hurts and you feel a little hot but not hot enough to take your cape off and you promised this time we leave when I asked, Aurelius! you promised! and don’t forget we still have a three hour ride back home you promised it’s not going to be like last time! or something of the sort.

the ‘Life only started sucking in the 19th century’ attitude as anti-capitalist praxis is truly hilarious like. personally, if the sun was even a tiny little bit too hot on the back of my neck while i was being kidnapped and taken as a war captive after *insert empire here* conquered my home i wouldve been pissed. praefectus if the shackles feel weird on my skin im killing us both