i try

they're talking about how they're no longer interested in dating because their female friends treat them better than boyfriends do. they're realizing that being single is always better than being in a bad relationship. it's becoming a lot more normal and fun and hot for women to be single at any age. the women who have settled down with truly good men in truly happy relationships are encouraging other women to not take any shit because the right man won't need to be "trained". they're talking about how their mothers and grandmothers warned them to get a job and not get married, and they followed the advice.

(obvs people whose family has never even been to the americas will just skew the votes to “no” which is why i added the “not american” button but if you feel like you can provide more valuable insight despite being non-american due to your unique circumstances, you’re 100% welcome to vote accurately. i wanted to specify this bc i have a german friend with an american parent and on that side of the family there are these rumors)

- NOT AMERICAN (kiki version)

- not american (bouba version)

- my family is actually native

- i have evidence of native ancestry but don’t personally id as native

- yes. we have no records but i think it’s true/more true than false

- yes. we have no records but i think it’s NOT true/more false than true

- yes. i have no clue how true it is

- yes. i have evidence we are NOT actually native

- no, there are no rumors like this in my family that i know of

- nuance button (comment???)

- button to open a trapdoor under OOP’s (me) feet and kill her

"I truly do not want to go" and

Loads of people in the tags are asking how I do it? I feel this won't be groundbreaking advice, but here is what I have learned:

Previous experience. Really no way around it. Now that I hit thirty, I feel like I have done enough things to know, intellectually, from experience, what will feel nice if I overcome the avoidance, and what won't. For example, every time I go to the beach, I wake up early and would rather eat a tire than get off the bed. But I remember that every time I got up and went to the beach, I was glad I did it. So I just get up, feeling like shit, and get ready, feeling like shit, and I get to the beach and magic!! I feel great, I love the beach!! Sometimes you just gotta do it scared feeling kinda like shit.

Am I avoiding the thing or getting to the thing? I have a lot of demand avoidance around just, y'know, getting up, getting ready and going out the door. Universal human experience. If I notice that doing the actual thing (Swim in the pool!) sounds nice, but I'm avoiding having to rally myself to go do that (Fetch swimsuit! Sunscreen! Towel!), then I know it's demand avoidance and I should just fucking go.

Is the thing making me feel excited at all or just anxious? I have had previous occasions when I did the opposite; I convinced myself it was just demand avoidance when I really just. Hated the thing. And wanted to stop. If you feel a mix of excitement and dread, or excitement and anxiety, that might be demand avoidance. But if thinking of doing the thing just makes you feel actively anxious, then yeah. You don't want to do the thing.