Tell Your Dog I Love Them

I hate this

How dare you force me to see this with my own eyes.

magneto is actually so so chill for a guy who can throw buses at people. if i could throw buses at people i would never not be throwing buses at people

I love the phrase "they get along like a house on fire". It's perfect. You and me have perfect chemistry and it's setting off the carbon monoxide detectors. People are calling emergency services to get us to stop being so chummy. Someone died

Let! That! Baby! Eat!!!!!!

Wishing all of you a tender forehead kiss from a strong but intimacy-starved man who is scared of the feelings you are awakening in him but is already in too deep to know how to stop.

The firm and deeply-held fear that if I’m getting to make progress on a fun craft or read a book that there must be some responsibility I am failing at.

we really devolved as a society when we stopped using fully painted pictures on romance novels and started using cheap photoshop instead 

worst crime capitalism ever committed was eliminating Horny Oil Painter as a viable career option.

Once again monsterfuckers are creating the bright path for humanity

@elliteracy is also so right #it’s playing a genre-defining role in a fantasy series as a youth#and then spending the rest of their careers specifically and selectively playing the weirdest little men they can find

did you know? there is a type of metal chariot, powered by the bone-ichor of ancient dragons, that you can use to access—and quickly traverse—a labyrinthine realm of desolate, pitch-black stone known to scientists as “the american highway system”

be forewarned! the chariot does release a terrible curse that ravages the sky and boils the sea. but the King’s coffers are rich with coin from the Dragonbone Ichor Council, so there aren’t many alternatives <|:^/

People say “phase” like impermanence means insignificance. Show me a permanent state of the self.

holy shit this quote changed my life about four years ago. so crazy that this just resurfaced. i’m really happy.