AMOTM

When u hear your friend john talking shit about someone but you’re in church so you tell him to tone it down:

"Hollanov are sooooo codependent, season two will have to explore toxic relationships and mental health crisis" but have you ever considered that we want them to be the most codependent motherfuckers to ever exist? Hollanov would stitch themselves together head to toe so they never have to be apart if they could. They would give up everything they hold dear just so that the other would smile. Hollanov would destroy their own lives just on the off chance they might have a shot together. They want to live in each other's skin and meld their minds together. Codependency is the least of their problems.

directors using colorful or "impossible" lighting to convey mood and meaning and beauty my beloved. directors making night scenes impossible to see for the sake of realism my beloathed.

Hanging out with people will make you remember you're the crazy woke friend for like. not wanting to shop at shien

i’m like 25 layers deep in the mindpalace of this dinner where shane is like ilya can we please stop talking about my parents potential bisexuality. like this is a one act play to me i can see it so clearly. shane is like “ilya can you not try to convince my parents they are bisexual” and ilya is like “why? something is wrong with being bisexual?” and shane is like “no i just don’t think it’s an appropriate dinner conversation! nobody wants to hear about their parents sex lives. how would you feel if we were talking about your parents sex life?” and ilya gets stony and sniffs and looks away is like “is different. i do not think my mother liked it very much.” and shane is thrown and he’s like “well i…” and then he’s trying to get the conversation back on track and he’s like “okay well even not together nobody wants to think about their parents like that individually. it’s uncomfortable to acknowledge that side of them. you wouldn’t like it either.” and ilya is looking at him like he’s crazy and he’s like “my father was famous in moscow for liking prostitutes with red hair. one time when i was 15 he was drunk and he offered to buy me one and i laughed and told him i wasn’t a pussy like him who needed to pay someone to fuck me. then he threw a clock at my head. is okay, he missed.” and shane is just staring at him like “it’s kind of unfair of you to turn every conversation into a minefield like this.”

i can understand the trials but were the tribulations really necessary

Occasionally forget people genuinely think capitalism is thousands of years old

One time I was talking about Robin Hood with some coworkers and one guy was like “he was bad because the people he helped learned to expect handouts” and I wanted to be like… okay can you explain how that flawed capitalist propaganda applies to feudalism

reminder that capitalism was literally invented in the 16th century

That’s an exaggeration. What was invented in the 16th century was mercantilism. Capitalism really dates for the beginning of the nineteenth century, with the rise of industry and cash crops over artisans and merchants. Vulture capitalism, with the notion that companies have no duties other than generating profit, is even younger.

Capitalism is only 200 years old and I have to say, they have not been an impressive 200 years

An alarming amount of people seem to think capitalism = all trade, and I don’t think that’s a coincidence.