AMOTM

"So, how did you two meet?" That was fine, safe territory.

They both answered the same way, "a parking lot in Saskatchewan when we were 17."

But, the question, "so who made the first move?" Unsafe territory, turn back now.

"You introduced yourself to me!"

"That wasn't making a move! You organized a whole photoshoot."

"You shook my hand, twice! You looked me up and down!"

"I did not!"

"You had a crush on me."

"You had a crush on me!"

"You called me a hot player to watch."

"I did not and you know that, Rozanov."

"My English wasn't good."

"You - okay, draft night?"

"What about it? Oh, when you kept staring at my cock?"

"No! When you kept touching my hand and had your legs all spread in front of me!"

"You were staring at me."

"You winked at me."

"You took water bottle."

"Because you told me to!"

"Well, you were blushing on photoshoot."

"You called me pretty, twice!"

"You were laughing!"

"So were you!"

"Because you kept looking at me like - like that!"

"You told me you organized the shoot!"

"You agreed to it! You wanted to see me again."

"You starting jerking off at me in the shower!"

"Only because you were checking out my ass!"

"I was not!"

"Yes, you were! I would not do that if you were not checking me out!"

"You asked for my room number!"

"You waited for me to come out of the shower - I gave you time to leave!"

"I was drying my hair."

"You were waiting for me."

"I was not, I just wanted to talk!"

"Talk! You wanted to talk to hot Russian you invited to your room at night?"

"Yes!"

"You were on your knees in five seconds!"

THIS IS SAPPHIRE

THIS IS TEAL

THIS IS PERIWINKLE

THIS IS AZURE

 AND THIS IS TURQUOISE

WONDER WHY THOSE ALL DON’T LOOK LIKE THE SAME COLOR? BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT 

OTHER THAN BEING PART OF THE SAME FAMILY OF BLUES, THEY ARE NOT ALL THE SAME FUCKING COLOR! WHY WOULD THEY ALL BE THE SAME FUCKING COLOR! DO YOU THINK WE JUST NAME NEW COLORS FOR KICKS!?!?!?

I’m imagining a scenario where hook up era Shane and Ilya have never fucked without protection so it hasn’t actually been an issue for them so far. And, yeah, maybe sometimes Shane gets a sore throat after blowing Ilya, and maybe his lips get all tingly if some of Ilya’s cum gets on them, but like, Ilya is well endowed? So of course he’ll feel the after effects of an enthusiastic blowjob sometimes, they’re just a bit rough, ya know? (And of course he has his post sex mango #hismango so any other symptoms he just attributes to that guilty pleasure, and not anything else he may have consumed)

But then they’re in the cottage and doing it raw for the first time, and it feels amazing and Shane is so hot and bothered by the idea of Ilya Filling Him Up but then the well fucked tingling of his hole starts to get more intense until it kind of burns? And he’s whimpering a little, shifting and squirming when he should be boneless beneath Ilya warming his softening cock, enough that Ilya is ripped out of his own post sex contentment to notice and ask what’s wrong, and then he’s gasping at the redness around Shane’s hole, afraid he’d been much more rough than he thought. And maybe coincidentally they’d just opened a new bottle of lube, or used an oil based one they usually couldn’t with condoms or something, so they both think that’s the issue, a change in ingredients or some kind of batch recall; their theory seems to be confirmed when cleaning up seems to help soothe the burn, and they go back to fucking with condoms and water based lube because that seems safer.

Anyway this happens a few times but they still don’t quite work it out until Ilya gives Shane a facial and bright red welts appear on his face exactly where his cum had landed (and we can imagine Shane fielding questions about what caused those marks as he waits for them to fade, his cheeks blazing so hot you can’t even see where the welts are anymore) Several frantic google searches later and the pair of them are going through the five stages of grief at the idea that Shane might be allergic to Ilya’s semen now, so of course Shane is googling specialists at 3am and getting them to sign extensive NDAs so they can fix this problem as soon as possible because he will NOT let his allergies ruin this for him.

And then the doctor recommends the (actual! Real life!) treatment plan of desensitisation therapy where Shane is prescribed a regime of slowly increasing his exposure to Ilya’s cum, first diluted and then in increasing strengths to get Shane’s body used to it again, and obviously Hollanov get all horny about it because of course they do. And then when they succeed, the literal medical advice is to continue having unprotected sex a few times a week so the sensitisation doesn’t return and so they put it in their joint calendar and Ilya treats it with the seriousness he treats all of Shane’s shallergy stuff while they’re both like ❤️yay ❤️ at having medically necessary raw nasty sex.

But now, he gets so tired whenever Ilya is around. His eyelids start to droop and, even though he's spent days or weeks looking forward to reuniting with his boyfriend, all he wants to do is fall asleep in Ilya's arms.

He decides to go to the doctor for some labs, checking for conditions that would make him fatigued. Words like leukemia and lupus came up on his Google searches, so he braces for the worst.

"Everything is perfect, Shane," his doctor tells him over the phone a week later. "But, you know, if you're worried about it, you could talk to a psychiatrist."

He makes an appointment for the next day with the first psychiatrist he finds. He explains the issue again: extreme sleepiness, maybe even narcolepsy, if Web MD is right. After more prompting, he specifies that this happens specifically around his partner.

The psychiatrist smiles at him. "Do you know much about nervous system regulation?" she asks gently. When he shakes his head, she explains further. "There are some people or settings that cause our nervous systems to feel calmer, and, especially for people who spend a lot of their lives in a state of fight or flight, those soothing feelings can make us tired and sleepy. Maybe your body finally feels safe and able to rest."

Bc so many ppl focus on the idea of telling A Trusted Adult, but even a well-meaning individual can fuck up and let abuse fall through the cracks or not know what to do

Whereas if a child tells LOADS of adults AND other kids, there's far less opportunity for an abuser to do damage control

Consistently telling their story and spreading it around disempowers the abuser to control and coerce the flow of information, or to utilise gaps and weaknesses in systems of reporting or welfare to isolate the child

Mostly because he’s loud. If you’ve ever heard athletes get these massages, they hurt/feel amazing and it is common for athletes to moan/groan/gasp loudly throughout.

So when they’re living together, Ilya is white-nuckled in the kitchen gripping the counters as his husband is laying on his massage table sounding like he’s getting fucked six ways to Sunday.

He can’t even watch because Amanda is there and Ilya doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

He finally caves and heads to the shower when Shane gasps out, “yeah, right there, fuck.”

connor storrie comments on his first Emmy nomination 🏆✨️ (orig from The Hollywood Reporter via email)