AMOTM

so ballsy of shane to be like “that’s not what i asked” when ilya tells him they can’t be something in tampa. he was not fucking around. “that’s not what i asked” like. i’m not letting either of us run from this. i’m not letting your fear take hold. i said “would you want to be, if we could?” if. if in another world, in another life where it wouldn’t jeopardize the lives we’ve built for ourselves, the lives we so tightly cling to, would you be with me? i don’t mean coming out, i mean — would you call me on the phone late at night just to hear my voice? would you call me by name — my real name, in broad daylight, in front of other people? would you spend the precious days of rest you’re allowed each season in my company? would you leave the privacy of this hotel room, your apartment, my apartment, if only to stand beside me at the back of a crowded club, if only for my hand to press against the small of your back when no one else is looking? i’m not asking for forever — i just want more time with you, even if we’re still forced to keep our eyes on the clock. if “something” is all you have to give, i’ll take it, even if it’s just a hypothetical. do you want to be together? i know, that’s not what i asked, but if i did — tell me you’d say yes.

maybe the real world cup was the big gulp we bought along the way