ilya’s difference in approaching to fuck shane between ep 1 and ep 2 is really interesting to me. in ep 1 he’s urgent, he tells shane to get on his stomach, presumably to prep and then fuck him like this. he thinks shane is on the same page and wants it as much as ilya, and it feels like it’s an itch he needs to scratch more than anything else. he catches on that shane isn’t on the same page really quickly, though it’s not that shane doesn’t want to fuck, it’s that he doesn’t want to do it here. at the same time, i think ilya’s urgency and the way that penetration seems like such a no-brainer to him in that moment, does scare shane a little. it would be his first time having anal sex, of course he’s a little intimidated (for lack of a better word). it’s not necessarily in the show but in the book and from everything we know about him, there are internalized homophobic thoughts circling through his head for sure that make him tense up as well. but the thing is, ilya clocks his hesitation quickly and pivots accordingly, and we’re not really shown this to a full extent but he does make shane feel safe and seen.
and then in ep 2, shane keeps ilya at arm’s length for two years for reasons (fear, shame, guilt, you know, the shane hollander experience™) but when he finally does let ilya back in/allow himselfs to give in to his own desires, ilya’s approach to him changes. he’s been “aggressive” in his pursuit of shane but once they’re together, he softens. he remembers how anxious shane was, he’s coming off chasing and goading him for two years, and while he still teases shane and is his usual cocky self, which he knows shane is not put off by, he’s treating him with a lot more care. he let’s shane set the pace again and he checks in even before they start because this time, he doesn’t assume that they’re on the same page. he makes sure they are and it isn’t until he has confirmation does he start going further. and i think ilya takes his time prepping shane, probably more than he might have in nashville, and makes it his mission to make this experience as comfortable and pleasurable as possible for him, makes sure that he feels safe and seen and taken care of.
and this time, they start face to face. which arguably creates another layer of intimacy that possibly wouldn’t have been there in nashville. ilya repeatedly checking in might not just have been him being a good partner but also his understanding of shane and how he wants to ensure that he’s not assuming something again and might end up being wrong because he really does want shane to have a good experience, a safe and enjoyable first time.
it goes to show just how much thought he’s put into this this early on in their relationship and how much this informs shane’s perception of him. because as much as shane is masc4masc, jock4jock, hyper turned on by ilya being his hockey equal, im inclined to believe that if shane hadn’t felt (sexually, emotionally) safe with ilya, he wouldn’t have felt as attracted to him.
so yeah, ilya showing shane his true colours so early on is to me what sucking each other’s dicks is to hollanov.
annaxmalina
snowghoul
theartofmadeline
blakekathryn
yousharknotpass
2087
