AMOTM

i need ilya to be the little spoon so bad. i need shane to be so curled up around him. i need him nuzzling into shane’s chest. i need his curls to be pet and played with. i need him tucked into shane’s neck. i need his back scratched. i need shane cooing in his ear. i need him to have so many soothing kisses. i need him to wake up so wrapped up and loved up, he forgets for a moment that he ever felt lonely.

I do think it’s so funny that rose was like GOD I’m so tired of dating these actors who turn out to be closet cases! I’m going to date a hot pro athlete who plays the one sport where men are actually encouraged to knock each other’s teeth out on the ice as a sign of their aggressive macho man virility. and then shane is like 🥺 it’s ok that I have to fantasize about being being held down and railed by my big strong manly rival to get off when we have sex right? and rose is like oh my fuckinhhggg godddfddddddd

we just dont have divas like this in 2026

anyways. stalkers and paparazzi suck and everyone should start getting meaner towards them right now

ilya would loooove to interrupt someone by slurping really loud through the straw at the last half inch of his big gulp and then going ahhhh. okei you were saying

the very concept of writing an mcu fanfiction in which the winter soldier is a mild mannered smoothie barista

consequences of this post have been that people are trying to explain to me horrible words like shrinkyclinks and shrunkyclunks as if they should mean something to me

i might get things wrong from time to time but i will never be as off the mark as hayden pike was when calling shane virgin mary

hard cider was invented when someone decided to make beer that tastes good instead of bad

stupid fuckin post. People have been making beer since before they even knew how to write and you think that they don’t like the way it tastes?

damn all that time and it still tastes really bad. huge L tbh

It’s the same in Irish! bóín Dé!

in hebrew it’s “our rabbi moses’s cow”

Oh I love this news!!!!

Multiple cultures upon seeing a ladybug for the first time: “Who’s cow is this????”

in German they’re Marienkäfer which also pretty much means “Mary’s Beetle”