Back From The Dead

Donkey about to get the fuckin drop on father konstaninos - photographer unknown

Prelude to an ass kicking

the role of the person in the passenger seat is not only navigator but secretary as well. you have to type up the drivers messages to random ladies on facebook about cbd cream & google whether that billy joel song was the theme song for that show or not

you also have to provide a henchmans disdainful scowl at whoever the driver is flipping off in the target parking lot

You should never forget the Tommy Gun

World Heritage Post

mind you before sinners we didn’t have definitive proof that it was possible to successfully make a movie in 2025

reblog to summon godzilla directly into washington dc

the vivid sensory-memory of sucking water out of a washcloth as a child

World Heritage Post

World Heritage Post

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

Every time I go they put me in a chair and they say look into this machine there's a hot air balloon or a farmhouse in there and I do and I'm like you're right I see it and they're like yeah keep admiring that hot air balloon or farmhouse and I do and I'm like this shit's quaint as fuck and then do you know what happens next they attack me they jumpscare me with air directly into my eyeballs and i fall out the chair and they say sorryyyy but they're NOT they wanted this to happen they KNEW about the jumpscare well now I'm wise to it now I know better when I go in and they say look at this bodacious hot air balloon I'm like NO WAY DUDE that balloon wishes me harm have at thee and I attack them and push them on the ground and spit on them

"i'm doing this for my wife and kids" justifications are so so so fucking funny like even ignoring the patriarchal arrogance the naked desperation to have an excuse to commit acts of heinous violence and the implications of the family unit as property to be defended and butchered like livestock it's like. if you want a hole to die in so badly grab a shovel and go outside. why are you digging the fucking trenches in our living room man.

I still think it's fucked that this website used to color the direct message window based on the other person's blog theme colors. and then they removed it? Like it was a harmless change but. It was such a charming and fun feature that basically no other website has and they got rid of it for no apparent reason?

got chased by a skeleton but when they caught me they just gave me a kiss and hug. turns out it was an xoskeleton.