Aro and ace activism is healthcare reform, so that no one needs to rely on a spouse for health insurance, so that healthcare is available to everybody regardless of income, so that no one’s lived experiences or basic dignity are dismissed or overridden by doctors

Aro and ace activism is well-funded and expansive public transit, so that you don’t need to have someone on hand to drive you places if you are incapacitated, so that you don’t have to pay for an ambulance if you need to get to the hospital quickly

Aro and ace activism is disability and elder care services, so that no one needs a spouse to care for them, so that no one needs children to care for them, so that marriage is not a bind for disabled people, so that people on disability who want to and can live alone can

Aro and ace activism is community-building, it’s public events, it’s free social activities, it’s mutual aid, it’s activities that bring community members together without socializing relying on just a romantic partner

Aro and ace activism is developing a culture of believing when people tell you who they are and what they want rather than assuming you know them better than they know themselves

Amatonormativity affects everyone.

Fighting amatonormativity is an everyone thing.

Making sure everyone can get healthcare regardless of if they have a family member (expected to be a spouse, if you are an adult) who can care for you when you’re ill or injured, can drive you to your doctors’ appointments, who can pay for your medication and medical care when you can’t work, is disability activism. The fact that we have woefully inadequate infrastructure for most of that because your spouse or romantic partner is expected to provide it is, among other thing, amatonormativity.

Untying basic rights in finances, healthcare, housing, immigration, and hospital visitation from marriage so that those tights can’t be taken away if gay marriage is restricted is gay activism. The fact that these rights are tied to marriage in the first place is amatonormativity.

Untying these things from marriage is also polyamorous activism, so in a poly relationship you’re not left with one partner who gets full rights and another partner who does not. It is activism for anyone with any kind of intimate relationship with more than one non-blood-related person. (Hell, it’s activism for people who have a spouse and a sibling all part of the same household.) The fact that marriage, the only taken-seriously relationship you can legally form between individuals as adults, is between two non-blood-related people in a romantic relationship and no other options, is amatonormativity.

Making it easier to survive on your own without a familial support system is queer activism, for all the queer people who don’t have those support systems! And the fact that your spouse is supposed to be your entire support system as an adult is amatonormativity.

Making it so elderly people who don’t have a spouse or children can still get care when they can no longer take care of themselves is elder activism. The fact that your spouse and children are supposed to be the ones who handle that and if you don’t have any then fuck you I guess, is amatonormativity.

Making it possible for a woman to leave her abusive husband, and not lose everything, to live on her own, maybe with her children, and have a place to live and money to live on and infrastructure to support her living without a spouse, is just about the most basic feminist activism that there is. And the fact that society is structured such that staying in an abusive relationship can look like a better option than trying to leave is because of—imagine it!—amatonormativity!

You also just… don’t need to be aro to be single. Plenty of single people are not aromantic and they deserve to have a house and healthcare too.

"Miss" means an unmarried woman. "Mrs." means a married woman. (both of these have origins in the word "mistress" as in "mistress of the house".)

I've had people (usually children) ask me at work if I'm a missus or a miss. I have replied that I am a miz, full stop. And when they pressed for which one I was REALLY, I have replied, "Why? Are you going to treat me differently depending on whether there's a ring somewhere?"

That's what Ms. is for. That is its linguistic function. It says, "This is an adult woman," and nothing else. Nothing else is necessary, and in my case, nothing else is desired.

I also use miz for other women unless and until they express a preference for something else because I don't magically know everyone else's marital status when I meet them. That's a courtesy—I'm declining to assume marital status and allowing them to decide whether they wish to declare it.

anyway i wanted a memento of my first pride, you know, and this one vendor was selling keyrings, and i liked it, so i bought one. do you remember those italian charm bracelets that were all the rage like 10-15 years ago? it was a keychain like that, and it had a rainbow rooster, a rainbow cat, and then just a rainbow, and so I bought it.

i run into my mom a couple of vendors over and she goes oh you bought something? what’d you get? so i showed her, and i was like, “I’m not sure why it’s a rooster and a cat. Seems kind of random. But I liked the rainbows.”

and my mom, who was some form of minister’s wife for most of my childhood and teenagerhood, stares at me like she thinks i’m joking.

“What?” i say.

…relic…