horatio is a ho

Fortinbras–

Fortinbras fucking loves gravity bongs (water bongs, geebs, whatever you call them). He loves them. He preaches their awesomeness to everyone he knows.

Fortinbras cannot function at school if he’s high, but right after school he gets stoned and stays stoned until he falls asleep.

Fortinbras also loves blunts. Horatio and Guildenstern and Fortinbras will chill in Guildenstern’s apartment and smoke blunts and play video games until Rosencrantz kicks them out because the smell gets so strong.

Fortinbras also loves dab pens. Whenever he gets a new flavor cart he makes all of his friends try it.

Really, Fortinbras will smoke anything he can get his hands on.

Fortinbras’s favorite party trick is that when he’s high, he gets really fucking good at skateboarding. Nobody knows how this is possible.

Guildenstern–

Guildenstern shares an apartment with Rosencrantz, and Ros can’t stand the smell of weed.

Guild will go up to the rooftop garden every morning and smoke a joint. He works from home, so he does this again during his lunch break and again after dinner. Before bed, he opens all the windows and smokes a bowl while Ros is in the shower.

Sometimes he invites Horatio and Fortinbras over to smoke blunts. Guildenstern could not ask for a better group to smoke with. These idiots have so much fun.

Rosencrantz–

Rosencrantz got high once at a frat party and had a panic attack and has been timid around weed ever since.

He doesn’t care that Guildenstern smokes, he loves being around Guild when Guild is high.

Rosencrantz will occasionally use Guildenstern’s dab pen, but only when Guild is around to take care of him, and he will ONLY smoke indica. They cuddle up on the couch with lots of blankets and snacks and they watch movies until Ros falls asleep.

More headcanons coming soon

Horatio–

Horatio is a huge stoner, let’s be honest.

He loves to wake and bake, taking his bowl outside and watching the sun rise from his rickety porch swing.

He’s surprisingly very functional when he’s high

He used to hate dab pens but Guildenstern got him one for his birthday once and now he loves them because they’re so convenient. He brings his with him everywhere.

His favorite way to end the day is by smoking a fat joint. Usually he just drives until he finds a spot with a good view and stops there, sitting on the hood of his car and smoking and looking up at the stars.

He loves when Hamlet smokes with him. Their beach smokes are some of his favorite times.

At parties, everyone goes to Horatio for the good weed. He has premium shit.

Hamlet–

Hamlet is more of an alcohol guy, weed usually makes him anxious. He’ll only smoke by himself or with his closest friends

He smokes with Horatio sometimes. Horatio smokes a lot more than Hamlet and has a much higher tolerance. Usually, they’ll drive out to a hidden beach near their houses and sit in the sand and smoke a joint. Horatio typically ends up smoking most of it because Hamlet only takes a few hits; he just likes being there with Horatio. The two idiots will sit there for hours, talking about nothing and making each other laugh until they can’t breathe.

Hamlet will also smoke with Ophelia sometimes. They reserve days to do nothing but get violently high and goof around in Hamlet’s room. They usually use Ophelia’s bong because it gets them the highest.

Hamlet’s favorite time to get high is by himself, in his room. He sets out his snacks and his drinks and some xanax just in case and he watches a movie and smokes a few bowls. When he gets high enough, he sits in his bed and watches baby sensory videos until he falls asleep. This is his perfect high.

When Hamlet thinks of summer, he thinks of sitting on the beach with Horatio laughing, lying on the floor of his room with Ophelia when the whole world feels like it’s spinning, smiling by himself in bed watching dancing watermelons on his computer, and the smell of weed surrounding it all.

Ophelia–

Ophelia loves edibles. She’ll smoke occasionally, but her favorite way to get high is a good edible.

When Ophelia gets high, all of her anxiety goes away. She doesn’t have to worry about her family or her schoolwork or whatever’s been stressing her out. She can just relax, finally.

At parties, she usually chills on the couch with Guildenstern and they people-watch. These two know all the gossip.

Horatio gave her a bong as a gift. It’s pink with little cartoon fruits on it and it’s her prized possession. She doesn’t use it very often because she can’t smoke in her house (her parents would kill her if they smelled anything), but every so often she’ll bring it to Hamlet’s house (his parents don’t give a shit about what he does) and they’ll get high together and ponder the meaning of everything.

pt. 2

Headcanons for more characters coming soon.