and love dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves

thorne // 22 // genderqueer transsexual freak // if you know me irl interact at your own risk

insanely funny that smoking weed and looking at pictures of ryland grace calmed me down so quickly

i need to write fanfic. or i might die

if i said i was abt to impulse purchase a bong on ebay would you understand me or judge me

also on that note the friends i was actually talking about are Not in attendance it was nobody here lol. just two friends who i met in college who one of them idk if she ever got tumblr. and the other one idk if she has used tumblr in years idk shes twitter based. i dont know how to express things very well half the time but i need to just keep my journal with me and write in it every time smth happens methinks

anyways im feeling much more emotionally regulated so i will be deleting that post but like. basically everyone who follows this blog whom i am mutuals with are like dear friends and to some extent a sort of network of chosen family and community. i really do love ppl in such deep ways and that is difficult to do when your brain is trying to work through years of familial situations which taught you that love is really very fraught with chaos. it is hard to unlearn my gut instincts but i am trying and i am very grateful for the patience and support of my mutuals. hugs for everyone

had 2 dreams in which i either was blatantly ignored by friends or caused a huge family rift on a vacation. what dat mean. and do i need to be secluded for a while to avoid that happening

if i make bacon.... i can add it to the broccoli cheddar noodles we have...