Auction Roadhouse

Many of you may be asking- what is rap? Well, to put it simply, rap is the part of the Gorillaz song that sounds- a little different.

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

Menthol cigarettes were invented by a man called Spud who was born in Mingo Junction

she suck me in ways that some are describing as 'orwellian' or 'jesus christ dude go to the hospital'

i just realised i messed up i meant to say 'lovecraftian' she's not sucking me surveillance state style she's sucking me scary incomprehensible horror style she's doing horrible things to my penis be scared

the world is a strange and wonderous place

Once upon a time news broadcasts and newspapers everywhere were obligated to include one genial, good-naturedly befuddled older man rambling about the most inane bullshit imaginable. Notable events, weather, sports, then close on five minutes of someone saying "today's fourth graders will be fifth graders next year" or "I've discovered carrots aren't just for nutrition - but can make a delicious cake" or "VCRs are useful but its dang hard to program one". But all of our gently dopey old men died off and weren't replaced so only British newspaper columnists keep the dream alive

and the devout created idols in reverence of a god they could not reach.