Hootys Bitch

The Picture of Julian Alfred Pankratz

dicked and ditched the wrong person; cursed to remain youthful until true love’s kiss, at which point he will start to age rapidly :(((

dick too good to die - he’s slept with quite a few gods/goddesses and they wanna keep him in prime shape

unknowingly stumbled on a fountain of youth when he was wandering through some woods one day; he has no idea and never thinks to connect his suspiciously youthful looks with that lovely bath that one time

is the personification of chaos just here for a gr8 time; this greatly pisses yennefer off when she finds out

he’s like a shark - if he stops moving he’ll die; can’t stay in one place for more than a few months before he starts looking a little ragged

only has one very specific weakness that no one has figured out yet

emotional vampire

made a deal with death where they meet up once a year and jaskier has to entertain them with stories and hot goss for the entire night to renew his life subscription

actually a grim reaper

simply refuses to acknowledge the authority of time

body took a screenshot when he sneezed with his eyes open once - he’s actually died many times but he just keeps returning to that biological save point

he is the Beginning of all things and he will be their End when he gets bored please keep him enriched

as long as there’s one person still singing his songs he keeps on kicking

he’s eaten so many açaí berries. so. many. all the berries. his immune system is jacked. any form of disease or deterioration even looks at him funny and they’re immediately consumed by antioxidants

imaginary friend geralt accidentally called into being because he was so lonely :(

blood of his enemies face masks

exchanged his self-preservation instincts for immortality; when he fills up his ‘almost died again’ punch card the universe gives him a free smoothie and ages him one month; the smoothie is worth it

literally gave away his heart in a small posada inn

cheated in a game of cards against the fates and buried his thread of life deep where no one will find it

destiny’s pawn that keeps trying to circumvent her plans and break free but everything he does is like a self-fulfilling prophecy straight from a greek tragedy :(

is actually ebony dark’ness dementia raven way and everybody is in love with me and why couldn’t satan have made me less beautiful?? im good at too many things! WHY CANT I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A FUCKING CURSE!

is allergic to dying

tumblr:

due to relentless bombing for more than 40 continuous days, much of our cities and villages in Artsakh have been destroyed. houses, buildings, streets, churches, cultural centres. on top of the destruction and death this war has brought to my people, we are struggling to cope with covid - number of new cases have been steadily increasing since the war broke out, for obvious reasons. Armenians of the diaspora have been donating since the war broke out (and even before that, because it is with our donations that we built Artsakh after the first war 30 years ago). we are a small country, with limited resources, and this war and pandemic has put a strain on us. we were struggling before, but now we need all the help we can get.

donations are desperately needed - you can donate here: himnadram.org or here: armeniafund.org

other ways to support:

https://helparmenians.carrd.co - a really useful page with plenty of resources, you can learn about armenia/artsakh, there’s petitions to sign, and donation pages

@armenianblog​ also has a lot of posts with helpful infographics to educate yourself and others on the subject.

you can buy System of a Down’s newest album - proceeds are going towards the armeniafund (alternatively, you can stream the songs on Spotify or Youtube)

watch this YouTube video (beginning to the end, don’t skip ads, don’t mute the video, don’t play it on a loop) all proceeds are being donated

Armenian jewlery maker, all proceeds are being donated

Armenian creator on Etsy, all proceeds are being donated (link to tumblr post you can reblog)

My redbubble shop - all proceeds for November and December I will donate to himandram.org (redbubble is currently having a sale of 20-60% with the code GIFTS60, fyi)

Telo Jan, all proceeds made from their ARTSAKH IS ARMENIA, DEFEND ARMENIA and RECOGNIZE ARTSAKH designs are being donated (and at least 10% is being donated from everything else). There are other items where 100% of the proceeds are being donated (shown here*), but if you go through their Instagram or Facebook page other items may have been included since that October 13th post. (*UPDATED)

TruVibe, all proceeds made from the Armenia Collection will be donated to the ArmeniaFund.

Armenian artist gazellian on Etsy, all proceeds made from the ARTSAKH prints collection will be donated to the Hayastan All Armenian Fund.

Armenian creator dvinojewelry on Etsy, all proceeds made from the Artsakh necklace will be donated to the ArmeniaFund.

MidoriMTL on Etsy, all proceeds made from the Artsakh Strong stickers will be donated to the ArmeniaFund.

Armenian creator legendoftamar on Etsy, all proceeds made from the Artsakh Strong stickers will be donated to the ArmeniaFund.

thank you @ottomanliest for finding the creators/artists below (i offered to put them together in this post)

Armenian Artists/Designers/Bakers/Creators

MirelliChocolatier (based in Glendale, CA) donating all proceeds from the sales of these products

Kinarmat, all proceeds from Arstakh collection are being donated to the ArmeniaFund

Tatik.ca, from their website: “In support of Armenia and Artsakh, we partnered with Armenian Artists from around the globe and created a limited time collection ‘ՀԱՂԹԵԼՈՒԵՆՔ’ to donate 100% of profits from the sales to Armenia Fund.“ (they have so many cute designs from a whole bunch of Armenian artists!)

Kristenkesho.com, ‘Armenia strong’ collection - portion of proceeds being donated to various charities to help Armenia and Artsakh

Artsakh flag hat, 100% proceeds donated to ArmeniaFund

Only within Australia - Armenian pomegranate cookies, all proceeds donated to Hayastan All Armenia Fund

Hay-Hay I’m HUMAN charity campaign - 100% of proceeds from sale of the tote bags will go towards the Hayastan All Armenian Fund

QurShop - 100% of all sales will be donated to ArmeniaFund

Coal A - proceeds from հաղթելուենք + IAmArmenian + ArtsakhStrong hoodies will be donated to ArmeniaFund

Etsy creators:

NairiDiary, 100% of proceeds from *featured items* being donated to ArmeniaFund

Noarkstudio, partnered with ArmeniaFund, all proceeds donated

FamilyClothingAlt, sales from Armenian mask/pouch donated to ArmeniaFund

Armenian fundraiser enamel pin by hypepins (they also have a BLM pin and many other cute designs!)

Artsakh buttons, and tote bag, 100% proceeds donated to ArmeniaFund

Armenian wooden letters, all profits donated to ArmeniaFund

Armenian flag, 100% proceeds donated to ArmeniaFund

SilvArt, proceeds from the “Armenian Art” collection will be donated to the Armenia Fund. (seller has a note with amount of money raised so far and will keep updating)

Passively donate

(when watching youtube videos, make sure to not skip any ads, watch beginning from end, do not mute the video, and do not play on a loop)

https://youtu.be/xqrsHQvp4TU - 100% of revenue goes to the My Step Foundation in Armenia (”My Step Foundation is an amazing charity that is spearheading many meaningful initiatives within Armenia focusing on public health, education, culture, social welfare, environment along with other sectors in need, including the current crisis surrounding COVID-19.”)

Updated Link

to my redbubble shop, because apparently tumblr messed up the first link (i have updated in original post, but cant edit in the reblogs lol). if the link doesnt seem to want to fucking work, here: https://www.redbubble.com/people/hugsnguineapigs/shop

or follow the link from here idk im done