I get the whole thing of Homelander being "the weakest character mentally on the show", I mean he is, and I get the contrast between the strongest physically and the weakest mentally. But I do think his psychological weakness comes more from being worn out in some ways and inexperienced with others (never mind how much of his insecurity might have been engineered by Vought, so they could take the reins). I mean, sitting through everything he did when he was growing up - when he apparently could have gotten out and didn't - takes mental strength, and I don't care about him being conditioned to mainly care about pleasing the 'keepers' and I don't care about him being a child so they got him used to it and it's all he ever knew - you still have to do it, without your brain just turning to mush. And especially since he was just a kid. You would have to be strong to get through that with your mind even semi-intact, never mind your humanity, which he clearly did. I do think there's ways in which he's pretty strong - even if maybe it needs a structure like 'and you'll get a reward at the end of things - people will love you'. Like, again, you still have to do it. That stuff's not a given, even for a superhuman. He obviously finds ways to get through that stuff.
I will always appreciate the "weakest character mentally" perspective, which I believe came from Antony Starr. In some ways, it is correct, especially if considered in terms of emotional maturity (which Starr said he thought was around that of a thirteen year old for Homelander).
Homelander is definitely very, very strong mentally in other ways. And yeah, his mental framework is built around the mental programming Barbara Findley spoke of but he still deserves credit for holding himself together at all. It is important to remember that unlike every other character on the show, Homelander never had a support system. He did not have a mother, a father, a sibling, or friends. When he was released from the lab it was to just another planned phase of control by Vought. Just because they stopped putting him in an incinerator, let him go outside more often, and gave him a penthouse doesn't mean that he wasn't still being abused, it just was more manipulative than physical because they 1) had already tested and trained him to their satisfaction and 2) had programmed him with compulsions and 3) had brainwashed him thoroughly. But the abuse did not stop for most of his life, not until season 3 and by then he was so locked into the patterns Vought gave him to follow that he literally did not know what to do with his freedom. He just kept on as usual, keeping the company going the best way he knew how until he grew frustrated enough (because the satisfaction parameters of his programming were not being met without a superior to please) to seek out Sister Sage. And she was just yet another selfish manipulator in the end.
People rant that he could have made good choices and they present examples of other traumatized characters from the show that (supposedly) turned over a new leaf. I always marvel at the idiocy of this argument because it is so blindered. Let's take a look at these supposed stronger people, shall we?
Kimiko who was experimented on, forced to fight, and made to be a child soldier, she broke away from bad, right? Well, no, she didn't. With her freedom she continued to kill (in unnecessarily brutal and horrifying ways even), just for her own personal pleasure and some quick cash. Let's take a look at her past too. Ah, yes. A loving family with parents that she remembers from before Shining Light captured her and killed her parents, the comfort of having Kenji with her in the terrorist camp, and the freedom to get to know her fellow prisoner conscripts. These are Kimiko's foundational years and she was far, far better off in emotional support than Homelander ever was. During the series she finds a supportive friend group in the Boys and with Annie. She also meets her future love interest, Frenchie, who was staunchly dedicated to making her comfortable and helping her adapt. Wow, she totally was set up for failure just like Homelander, you guys. She even managed an offscreen mental illness reset in which she overcame her muteness. It's a real shame that Homelander was too mentally weak to perform an offscreen fix for any of his mental issues; he's so pathetic.
Frenchie who was severely abused by his mentally ill father and eventually found himself making a living as a prostitute until he changed tracks to career criminal and assassin. So, his childhood was all unrelenting pain just like Hom--wait a minute. Actually he had a mother that he lived with up until his father kidnapped him. Frenchie even still has fond memories of her. So that's something foundational that Frenchie had and Homelander never did. There are no fond memories from Homelander's childhood. Well, what about Frenchie's life after his father, when he fell in with Little Nina? That's bad certainly, but Frenchie also fell in with Cherie and Jay, his dearest friends, then he was rescued from a prison sentence by Grace Mallory and introduced into the Boys. Even after the team dissolved, Frenchie got to avoid prison and was free to continue his life as he chose and... he still chose crime, murder included. How inspiring. What willpower.
Billy who grew up in an abusive household where he was all alone in suffering and had no refuge outside his home--oh wait, not exactly. He had Lenny, he had Connie, he had Judy, and he had school and presumably had friends there. Then when he was eighteen he got to leave. Really leave; Sam Butcher had no say in his life from there on out. He got to have the companionship of his brothers in arms, and found significant allies like Jock and Joe Kessler. Even after all his suffering, he was socially functional enough to manage to woo Becca Saunders, cheat on her, keep a dog, and enjoy some career success with the CIA. Then after Homelander ruined his life, he got to meet and befriend MM and Frenchie. He also eventually found a second brother in Hughie. Billy really turned his life around and became a real stand-up guy, huh. Right? ...Right?
Important note here: I am not trying to minimize these characters' suffering or say real life abuse is of minimal impact compared to the fantastical and, realistically, fatal abuse Homelander endured. That's really not the point here. After all, I have seen people compare Homelander to other characters (like Eleven | Jane from Stranger Things and Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII) that have gone through science fiction realm abuse too, and use those characters to also criticize Homelander's reactions and maladjustment.
I only believe that people fail to acknowledge the importance of the before (if there is one, and for all The Boys characters, except Homelander, there is), how extreme isolation is also abusive and compounds the rest of the abuse, and how critical a factor a support system (which all these characters had, Eleven | Jane included and even Sephiroth got to have actual friends, but Homelander did not) is to recovery and the development of coping mechanisms and social skills after sustained trauma.
Homelander had to cope all on his own after the lab, while still being abused and often being outright sabotaged. He was set up for failure from birth and there was no one that ever cared enough to try to help him. He was abused and used his entire life. No other The Boys' character's life experience compares. To condemn him for being weak and failing to cope compared to Kimiko, Frenchie, or Billy is a flawed reading of the characters and assignment of inexcusably unrealistic expectations to Homelander.
