She portrayed herself as far too insignificant, whilst she portrayed me as far too great.
The scene unfolds from Homelanderâs perspective: Stillwell is a cold statue, yet he still yearns for maternal love and warmth from herâa morbid attachment. Thus, in his narrative, the cold statue grows twisted, flesh-and-blood hands, solely to embrace and comfort him.
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Imagine youâre crushing on this woman for years and you know sheâs leading you around on a chain and using your desperation to get you to do what she wants, but you canât help but fight for every scrap of affection she throws your way. And you try so hard to prove that you can do more, that you can be useful and good, but itâs becoming increasingly clear that she has no real interest in letting you take a more active role (and whenever you do try to step out of line and take control, she pushes you back). Thereâs this resentment simmering under the surface but you still canât help yielding to her whenever she calls, because the need is just a tad stronger. So in all of this mess, she starts giving you scraps of what you always wanted, wouldnât that feel suspicious? It does feel suspicious. But what are you going to do, say no? After years of pining? But the more sheâs giving you, the more you feel sheâs just using your desperation against you to keep you in check. And then she finally fucks you but youâre so keyed up that you get off way too quickly and apologise the whole way through your orgasm. And then later that night you kill her. JohnMadelyn always on my mind.
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Itâs sooooo fun to write Homelander having a crush. Itâs so fun. Seeing the person he likes and going through a hot flash, heart pounding, sweaty palms moment in secret, but playing it very cool. Itâs so fun.
Naturally, this works for every ship of his, but Iâm currently thinking mainly about his m/f options because theyâre a special kind of fun here.
I love thinking about all the times he had to keep a poker face when he heard Madelynâs heels approaching â which would be very early, so heâs sitting around trying to ignore his fluttering heartbeat for five to ten minutes. Him hearing her step into Vought tower and saying 'good morning' to security on the ground floor, while he's all the way up in their meeting room. Sheâs coming! Calm down. Sheâs coming. That's better. The croc heels by the sound of it. I wonât look. <- fighting to pay attention to what's hppening around him and failing. And then, of course, turning to her as soon as the door opens (seven or so minutes lter), Good morning, we need to talk about â (something he arranged in his mind while she was approaching)
The Stormfront crush was a little different. But I can see him being giddy about seeing her, too â we know he was pathetic about her, after all. Sending flowers and being embarrassed about it when he has time to overthink it. Awesome. You know heâs standing next to her and trying to subtly shift so their arms are brushing while pretending to look somewhere else and secretly hoping sheâll return the touch for some secret pda. (the cute part is that she DID indulge him. Patting his thigh during the interview, you know he was sweating with excitement)
I struggle to imagine what he was like with Maeve, but if we take his moments with Stormfront, I could imagine it being similar. Except the smooth little âshuffling closerâ probably did NOT work because she wouldâve ignored it. I do think that this could explain his controlling behaviour. We (again) see it with Stormfront: heâs vulnerable, realises that thatâs failed (her not being around all day, IGNORING his flowers!), and tightening his grip on her in the process (the fear of looking like a fool, having been too soft etc turning into possessiveness and aggression until she soothes him. We can do a hen/egg discussion here since this comes after heâs been âbetrayedâ by Madelyn and Maeve, but I could imagine him acting like that from the start). With all of that being said, my point is that him being like this with Maeve could point to the fact that he WAS similarly vulnerable with her. But also - Getting to hold her hand for the camera and being so giddy about it, getting a little too hyped with the crowd, "HeheHEY it's so GREAT to see you all here, here with my WONDERFUL- Isn't she just awesome, guys? Queen Maeve!" etc. While she's smiling through it.. Tom Cruise Katie Holmes behaviour.
as for non-canon ships
Sage is fun because he'd have this whole thing of We have to be cool. It's fine. She'll NOTICE we have to be cool. There's nothing to be uncool about, she's nobody, we MADE her, we, oh, oh God. -- I could actually see him overcompensating and being deliberately professional with her, not touching her at all, treating her like he doesn't care at alllll, she's just his smart little advisor, and he's so tense by the end of it that he has to go to his suite and crawl right under his blanket, flag and all, and hide his face for a bit. Oh god she did smell nice again. Did she notice? No. We were so subtle. She's not THAT smart.
I think he could be pissed about it with Annie. Getting angry at himself and her because he can't get at her (Hughie Campbell!!!! growl!). So for her I could actually see him twisting that feeling until he gets satisfaction out of hurting her. But it's still kind of there, simmering in the pit of his stomach. They're playing big happy family on the red carpet, she stumbles little (maybe A-Train nudged her out of the way) and he gets to put his arm! around her! to steady her. Warm soft little star, her hair close to his face. He chews her out for it later (biting her plush lip, shoulders tense) and promptly forces her to stumble himself, next time around. Both of their hearts pounding, almost in time with each other.
Victoria is super interesting because she's the only one not in his grasp, not at Vought. He has no Vought-style power over her and they don't know each other, They don't see that much of each other, either, and I find it sooo funny to imagine him having this whole Alright. Vice President Neumann time. Let's go, let's scare her a little. self pep talk, and then he sees her, sees her see him, a brief moment of eye contact across the room, and his heart leaps, stomach swoops, and he frowns, What the fuck was that? Wait, oh no. What?! But he's already made his way over to her and now he has to compensate, bright smile (too bright), "President Neumann! AhHAHA well, not yet! But don't you worry, we'll get you there, won't we?" Awkward wink as he's shaking her hand and he's sooo glad he's wearing gloves right now because his palms! are! sweaty!!
HI TAGS !!!! i posted ch 9 of mirrored :) theyre calling it the least butchlander chapter in a butchlander fanfic ever, theres literally more maevelander and homewell in it than there is butcher FDGHIGH. but in general, its my take on homelanders sexuality, how it was influenced by vought etc etc . ive been meaning to write smth like this forever and i worked super hard on it !!! đĽş
mirrored is a butchlander-focused retelling of s3, an AU in which butcher doesn't take temp V to fight gunpowder and homelander actually suffers the consequences of his birthday speech. what follows is a very forced team-up that will take them places. many, many places.
âď¸thank u for checking it out if u do!!!! âď¸