Look, I may not be an explorer or an adventurer or a treasure seeker or a gunfighter, Mr. O'Connell.
The Mummy (1999) dir. Stephen Sommers

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@honey-bunchesofgoats
Look, I may not be an explorer or an adventurer or a treasure seeker or a gunfighter, Mr. O'Connell.
The Mummy (1999) dir. Stephen Sommers

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I confess that after the first tweet my mind automatically went to the notion that the orc would be hired as a gym teacher. perhaps I have some deep thinking to do
My local museum of natural history doesn't have a Tumblr page, but I know Tumblr will appreciate their post:
If you're on FB on Instagram, please give them (Nova Scotia Museum of Natural History) a follow, they're great.
Got this from a friend! by purplerain_1313
Entirely appropriate reaction

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Welsh singer Bonnie Tyler, best known for her hit Total Eclipse of the Heart, has died aged 75.
one if my favorite gifs right now the blankest eyes ive ever seen the lights are on but no ones home. and the other thing like grooming its snout but i don't think its even aware of what its doing. i dont think either of them know anything or know that theyre alive
Take a closer look at that snout!
TE COMO LA NADIZZZ ΓAMΓAMΓAM ΓAΓAM ΓAM ΓA ΓAMAΓAM ΓAMM
it's "TE COMO LA NADIZZZ ΓAMΓAMΓAM ΓAΓAM ΓAM ΓA ΓAMAΓAM ΓAMM" thursday
Ye knowe eek, that in forme of speche is chaunge With-inne a thousand yeer, and wordes tho That hadden prys, now wonder nyce and straunge Us thinketh hem; and yet they spake hem so, And spedde as wel in love as men now do.
chaucer, Troilus and Criseyde c. 1380
How is it that you can a music library of like 1,200+ absolute bangers but as soon as you put it on shuffle in a group setting it's like. anime opening you added in 2010. homestuck parody song. musical artist who was cancelled last year for kidnapping and eating children in his basement. Hamilton
I can't believe some people are actually reblogging this like "Tch. Omg, so embarrassing OP, I can't believe you would ever admit to liking Hamilton π " like ok, first of all congratulations for hatching as a fully formed adult in 2022 from the pure white egg of a virgin swan i guess. Raised in a cave on a diet consisting solely of nuts and berries and leftist twitter clapbacks. "ooooooh, I've never had a complicated relationship with a piece of art that was phenomenally well-received at the time but aged like milk as later reflection revealed the fundamental flaws in its premise that were in fact present from its inception but which I didn't notice because I was 17 and hadn't heard of neoliberalism yet" Should we throw a party? Should we invite Anthony Fantano? Anyway second of all. you draw the line at Lin Manuel Miranda but you're fine with basement guy?
[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

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Walgreens texts you your prescription is ready and then immediately calls you like PICK UP YOUR DAMN PRESCRIPTION NEOW OR THE PHARMACY TECHNICIAN GETS IT
I meant "gets it" as in they will kill him but I like your idea of Drugs Georg better
I think this one runs into the Floral Spuzzem problem a bit. All well and good until Dave casts a card that needs targets declared.
slap another "at random" on there it's fine
getting kicked off love island for just swimming in the pool and not talking to anyone

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Art forgery imo is a sort of carnivalesque of the art market, an essential part of the ecosystem of art is that whenever art becomes valuable there will be people who can fake that art and bring its value into question. The art forger is a performance artist in the mode of the court jester