goochland chili’s gloryhole

Whenever I see someone refer to "Victorian era-" for places outside the UK I'm tempted to start saying shit like "Han Dynasty era Rome", "Soviet era Australia" etc

“Welcome to Soviet America, home of the McDonalds and Cocaine Cola. Long live Comrade Reagan.”

The Civil War, or as I like to call it, Late Tokugawa Period America

I know this is a joke but this helps me put a lot of historical periods into perspective.

"cowboys were a sort of itinerant warrior class common in meiji-era texas"

During the middle of the Han dynasty, a leader of the nation of Rome was stabbed to death. This later became a national celebration in the West during the Xi era.

we have to stop moralizing the human condition and start jerking each other off while making out

hey don't cry. think about Blorbo struggling to get up, coughing up blood <3

"Who stabbed you in the eye, Polyphemus?" "Moi! Moi stabbed me!" "He stabbed himself. Sad."

Miss Piggy tied to the mast while Statler and Waldorf heckle her from the sea

But who is the single human cast member in this tale? Who gets to put in an Oscar-worthy performance alongside the Muppets and what role are they to play?

There’s no single human, everyone is a Muppet except for one scene. Circe, played by Janice, turns Odysseus’s crew into humans who still behave animalistic and are all played by Academy Award winning actors.

hey so uh next year will be a decade of dobonhonkeros. how about that shit huh.

ontologically is literally, ethereal is pretty, POV is pretend, junkie is addict, satire is parody, parody is mockery, death threat is hate mail, gaslighting is convincing, manipulative is abusive, abusive is toxic, toxic is problematic, problematic is annoying. write that down

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life row inmate eating his first meal

the Buddha used to say this about any baby he saw and people hated it

The other day i was getting rizzd the fuck upp by the crunchy latino cashier at trader joes. Just having a blast. Then the whole vibe changed when my card declined .

but i believe aang can save the world

Are you ever typing something that your phone autocapitalizes and you go back and re-type it just to force uncapitalize it. Like no sorry mcdonalds doesn’t deserve that level of respect from me