how i feel as a certified FREAK knowing itâs finally kinktober:
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@hislaevv
how i feel as a certified FREAK knowing itâs finally kinktober:

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I think I like when it rains.
??? how did u get in heređ§đž
Has everyone seen the fire and ash trailer by now?
new rule you have to live to be 34. you cant kill yourself until you turn 34. jesus died at 33 you can do better
this is a common law btw. you can check it out by looking up 'rule 34'
Dear God there's pussy here
Thatâs the other reason you canât kill yourself

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iâm obsessed with the mum from ponyo. driving single lane on a cliff edge? drift those turns in your nissan cube. husband has to work an extra shift? tell him to fuck off in morse code. pet fish turned into a child on your driveway? adopt her. town drowned in a tsunami? leave your 5 year old in charge, heâs the man of the house now
ideal woman to me and i am not kidding
SHE SHOULD BE AT THE CLUB
I donât think the club could handle her
i love you kuroo tetsurou the bridge between volleyball and people the hand that lowers the net the one who got kenma into volleyball and pushed tsukishima towards falling in love with the sport again the reliable captain that led nekoma to nationals after a long time the guy who traveled from one country to the other to recruit the monster generation and put up a match that people could enjoy and look forward to
rlly want to write for aone and laios but im #laaaazyyy
gambling with angels is easy. they can't lie but they have addictive personalities; it's easy to clean them out then make them divulge secrets about the business of heaven to call your bets. my dad used to say "hey, watch this" and summon angels to play poker with him with a sort of bone flute he inherited from his grandpa, and they'd be holding horseshit and still want to call him. i'm talking "raise on a two pair" level bad at it, but they couldn't stop trying to win. my dad taught me all the secret names of God before i was out of grade school and i would use them to curse my enemies so they came down with leprosy. you can cure leprosy these days but it still sucks, especially for a child. but they had it coming for pissing me off
Unpopular opinion but I donât like the Miya twins đż

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âthis is killing me.â kuroo mumbled as he tossed his phone to his side. âjust trust me bro,â his best friend-turned roommate bokuto grinned. âthis works everytime for me i swear!â
kuroo sighed before grabbing phone again to refresh his instagram story views once more. several people had already viewed the post-gym mirror selfie heâd taken in attempts to garner attention from one particular follower of his; you. âmaybe itâs too cringeâŚâ he muttered while over analysing the photo that had already gained a couple of likes within the twenty minutes it had already been up for. ânah.â bokuto reassured him and pat his friend on the shoulder. âyou look sexy.â kuroo stared back at the two-toned haired boy. â⌠thanks bro.â
this isnât something kuroo would typically post but times were tough and he was desperate. heâd seen you around campus but luck was not on his side when it came to scheduling and the two of you barely had class time together. yet the little class time you did share, kuroo hung onto it tightly and would let scenes of these weekly one hour classes replay in his head more often than heâd like to admit.
âi feel like a modern jay gatsby,â the ex volleyball captain huffed. âmy selfie is the equivalent of the wild parties heâd throw in hopes to get daisyâs attention except i donât want to post every night, iâve already made myself cringe with this one post.â bokuto stared back at his friend blankly. âyeah⌠whatever that means.â kuroo frowned back âitâs a classic, you should know what i mean!â
how much longer was he going to have to wait? bokuto had promised him quick results with this method and so far heâd felt deceived and lied to. if talking to you when he got the chance wasnât enough to get a conversation going outside the classroom, then social media seemed like the next best attempt to start interacting more.
what were you doing? why werenât you viewing his story? could you even see his story? did he accidentally block you?
these questions ran through his mind as he quickly rushed to check to make sure he hadnât for some reason blocked you from seeing his story. he half wished he did because then at least heâd know what on earth was taking you so damn long to see the photo he was increasingly starting to hate more the longer it was posted.
âthis is stupid.â he stated as he faced bokuto who had zero concerns in his method in gaining someoneâs attention. âit works you just have to wait, trust me.â
kuroo frowned as the little red hearts of others who werenât you fluttered from the bottom corner of the photo. âlook!â his best friend grinned as he leaned over kurooâs shoulder and pointed to the screen of his phone. âyouâre getting likes on it!â
âwhatâs the point if theyâre not likes from the person i posted this for in the first place.â kuroo grumbled back in response. he couldnât believe heâd been subjected to such an attempt to gain some attention from you. it was ridiculous.
it had been about forty five minutes since heâd posted it and he was slowly losing his mind. sure, the post was going to be up for twenty four hours (if he didnât give into the voices in his head telling him to delete it) so forty five minutes was nothing, but the minutes were beginning to feel like hours and he was dying inside. why werenât you viewing it already and what could possibly be keeping you off your phone right now?
âthis is stupid.â he decided as notifications from his old team mates started to flash up on his screen. the last thing he needed was lev replying with âlooksmaxingâ to a post that was secretly dedicated to you. âno, itâs barely been up!â bokuto whined. âyou look hot so you should get some replies anyway whatâs the big deal?â
pinching the bridge of his nose, kuroo huffed. âthe big deal is the person i posted this for hasnât replied!â what was the point in making sure to go to the gym during a rest day just to take this photo if he wasnât going to at least make his existence more known to you? heâd even worked his legs enough to the point of managing to achieve the sweaty but sexy look. the muscles in his legs were dying, but his dignity sure as hell wouldnât.
the college student opened up his phone with the intention to end the mental war inside his head once and for all by deleting the post altogether. bokuto watched his friend in defeat but his eyes flashed. âyes they did!â he yelled and pointed to the screen as your name flashed at the top of his screen.
kurooâs heart jumped at the sight of your profile picture heâd made a daily routine of staring at and the now blue dot indicating a message from your profile in his inbox. to think he was going to delete this post just a second too, what were the chances?
psyching himself up, kuroo took a few quiet deep breathes before letting the time next to your message pass for a few minutes. he wasnât an instagram warrior by any means, but he knew enough about general rules in order to not look desperate online.
bokuto watched over his friends shoulders as the two stared in anticipation awaiting the message kuroo had been dying for. this was it. leg day two times in a row was gruelling and heâd regret it for the next few days but it would have been worth it. the countless messages from his old teammates mocking his attempts at a thirst trap could be looked past now that you had finally given into the bait heâd so carefully laid. this is what heâd been waiting for. days of preparing and deciding how to gain your attention had finally paid off and he was about to reap the rewards heâd sown.
clicking the message with baited breath, his heart raced as bokutoâs grip of his shoulder tightened. finally.
âthe label on your shirt is sticking out, make sure to cut itâ
âa wins a win.â bokuto filled the silence between the pair as kuroo stared at his phone with a blank expression. â⌠a wins a winâŚâ
at my wedding yes i will have a maid of honour but why stop there. ill give all my maids titles. we will have a maid of hope. a maid of horror. a maid of horticulture. a maid of harm. a maid of healing. and of course. a maid of hogs
One time I was working as a waiter at a burger joint where the fries were tossed in salt and coriander and as I was bringing food over to the table for these two huge beefy guys one of them asks what the green stuff is so I go "it's coriander" and his friend goes very seriously "he can't have coriander" and I'm thinking shit ok maybe he's allergic and guy 1 starts pulling up his sleeve to show me something and I'm thinking shit shit shit he's probably breaking out in hives rn and it's my fault but he just shows me his arm and he has this huge cursive font tattoo that just says "I fucking hate coriander"
i know an engineer-type dude who said fiction bored him, because fiction is mostly-formulaic and tropey, and you can generally guess whatâs gonna happen next, and yada yada
so his solution for this problem was⌠to solely read serial web novels in languages that (1) he did not speak, and (2) for which there was no actual translation, fan or otherwise
apparently, the combined forces of âtrying to figure out WTF is going on via the power of Google Translate" + âcultural differences in storytelling conventionsâ + âthe inherent randomness of where the hell amateur authors are gonna take their plotsââthose all mashed up to make stories that were unpredictable enough to keep him guessing all the time
then he described to me this totally batshit-sounding Hungarian story heâd been obsessively reading once a week for years
and god i think about him all the time. like. that is the most wild way to process fiction that i have ever heard of, but also, iâve gotta admire the sheer chaos energy of it
like i tried to tell him suspense isnât about having no fucking clue whatâs going on, itâs about having expectations subverted in novel and interesting ways that nonetheless accord with oneâs understanding of the storyâs universe, etc
and heâs just like âno. Â suspense is when i cannot guess what is happening next, full stop. Â quantum physics is a suspense novelâ
Can authors please make a !challengers au/fics with hot anime duos

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love a girl who talks too much where is your podcast queen
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