blame it on the goose

man i just dont know why im so afraid all the time (<- has the disorder that makes you afraid all the time)

the author’s thinly veiled nothing #notwriting #straightupnotwritingit

does anyone else think about how brave all their friends are and get really emotional about it

I'm glad everyone is alive rn

my names sweetie 3000 because the last 2999 sweeties were all destroyed

Stop, drop, and roll also works when you are wet. It sort of spreads the water over the floor

your boss takes you into his office and grimly informs you that he’s unemploygnant and it’s yours

its kind of fun to uninstall programs you arent using to free up space and see them all beg for their lives

awesome. we have a beetle problem

Wickedpedia

it's totally ok to dislike things. right?

one of my friends is petite-bourgeois and has big boobs. another one of my friends is petite-bourgeois and has small boobs. therefore it’s not the boobs that define petite-bourgeoisie, it’s something else entirely

honest to god fill my uterus with these, how many will fit? how many until its noticeable? lets make a game out of it! get them big ass balls into me

hi

You should all be beaten like piñatas

dont do that bro the fucking boba r gonna shoot out