Falinger

Im novice rope enthusiast and i would like to know what books maybe you could recommend to read for start and how should i practice firstly without model/partner?

Thank you in advance!

I'm really glad that this was the first question I was asked since joining this platform.

Tbh, most books nowadays are outdated and/incomplete (written before safety, body mechanics, and things of that nature were considered). The start of your journey is by far the most important. Learning good techniques and building proper muscle memory is crucial, and it's far easier to learn good habits the first time, then having to unlearn and relearn in the future.

I would start with learning 3 primary single column ties (the Summerville Bowline (keep in mind, there are 4 directions this can be tied in - exiting up and to the right at an angle; exiting up and left at an angle; exiting down and to the right at an angle, exiting down and to the left at an angle. Most people are never taught this simple fact, and it's responsible for a lot of injuries due to using the incorrect direction can cause the friction to roll and push into the body.)

That's one of the main reasons that I recommend learning in person over books or YouTube videos or other online sources. To go over something as thoroughly as needed, a video would be way too long, and typically the people that are making those videos don't have the experience that they need to be teaching. Just like people in the community says everyone should vet their play partners, everybody should absolutely vet their instructors! Do you know if that person is qualified to be teaching, or if they're just reiterating something they found online to gain try to gain attention, feel important by showing off, or trying to make money off people that don't know any better? Again, learning incorrect practices does more harm than good. At some point, you're going to have to practice unlearning the bad habits while trying to relearn the good ones. Save yourself the time and make sure you're getting good information in the beginning.

The Struggler's Knot (also a bowline, also that exits in for different directions), as a backup for the Summerville (they are very similar, however the Struggler's knot can be easier to untie if it's been loaded under a lot of weight).

And a Yuki Knot. I use these sparingly (the can collapse if not seated correctly, or used in the wrong direction). I use them if I need to exit perpendicular to the single column that I'm tying. They don't exit at an angle like the Summerville bowline or the Struggler's knot.

I practice doing these 300 times a week, and have done so for the last decade. I practice them in any way I can think of to make them more challenging- lying on my back tying over head, tying on hard objects that make tension control more difficult, blindfolded, etc., etc.

You can find how to tie the Summerville and the Yuki at www.noblerope.com. Noble is someone that I've taken lots of classes from, and an excellent instructor, and I'd also highly recommend that you watch the video "It's not about the Rope".

As for finding a partner, keep in mind you can practice single columns on yourself as much as you want. I would recommend joining FetLife. There you can find local munches, and rope groups. I'd recommend when you're starting out, go to the munches and rope groups, listen, and learn. Most often, you'll find lots of people willing to give advice. Be seen in community practicing your best behavior. Build trust. I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "There's a Top shortage in this community". The reality is - There's a shortage of Tops that are willing to put in the effort, treat people with respect and not like (disposable) toys, and form real relationships.

With the exception of safety, I would say that being intentional with rope is the most important thing. Being intentional in what you're doing, what you're planning, being intentional with the person that you're tying with, how you're placing the Rope, where you're placing the Rope, and most importantly the scene that you're trying to create between you and your partner.

If you're doing this to try and get laid, people will be able to tell. If you're doing this because you have a passion for rope, people will also take notice. Don't get me wrong, my Rope/BDSM/Kink is very sexual in nature. It's why I do it, it's why I learned it, it's what I enjoy most about it. No, Rope (and BDSM/Kink) doesn't have to be about sex. And for a lot of people, it isn't. For me it is!

However, when you're first starting out, I'd very much recommend focusing on making friends in the community first, and finding a partner will become much easier! Don't be the thirsty guy in the club trying to use it as a tool to try and hook up. Well, you can. But when it comes to edge play (and Rope is definitely dangerous enough to be considered edge play), keep in mind - it takes years to build trust and people's faith in the BDSM community, it takes one incident to potentially ruin that reputation!

I'm always going to stress learning in person. Don't be afraid to take it slow. Putting rope on another human is not a natural act. Everybody needs practice, everybody starts from somewhere. And if there's one critique I get from partners more than any others, is they want me to slow down. I wanted to do flashy stage performances, and show off around my 6th year in. And I'm still trying to constantly slow myself down so I can focus on my partner and unlearn performing for the crowd. Enjoy the moment! They want to enjoy the time. Savor in the experience! You will be tying slowly in the beginning, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Take your time and don't rush things.

There are things that you just can't learn in videos, from books, things like tension control, tightness (A lot of people use these two things interchangeably, but they mean completely different things. Learn the difference!), and things like that. I know that can seem cost prohibited to some people; I also hear that people don't have a lot of local classes and smaller communities. But to me the cost of somebody's safety (and related hospital bills tends to be far more expensive than a rope class). If you're comfortable dming me your location, send me a message, and I should be able to find some resources in your area. If cost is a factor, I'd highly recommend saving and taking intensive or one-on-one classes from a reputable instructor than trying to take every cheap "peer sharing" class you can find locally. You'll learn better fundamentals, the instruction will be more in depth and concise, and you can learn more from an hour-long one-on-one teaching session then you will in a dozen "Hey, let me show you this thing I learned" peer-sharing class.