Hello From The Magic Fanart

Sigint the Five-Eyed Surveillance Spider

Sigint the Spider is a five-eyed surveillance spider and cryptomancer formerly in the employ of King Albain Belaroth but now working for the Dark Lord. Cryptomancers pull in information from resonance stones through their webs.

Rocky Cocodino

Arnie introduces this week's guest, Rocky Cocodino, a used horse salesman. He's brought a selection of horses with him, on the way to Night of Horses. One of them is magic, and has a backwards head due to a botched counter-spell. It's not really a riding horse. Another beast is missing a back leg. Used does not mean used-up. They just need to be upcycled a bit.

Fangy Yelly the Memory Gremlin

A memory gremlin is a creature that feeds off other creatures and their memories. It can read people's memories and take the form of anything based on those memories. Usually a memory gremlin will assume a form that will help lure their target to its death.

The Memory Gremlin was asked back to the podcast after Usidore's death to imitate him. She is now reformed, and is a vegan and eats only veeg (the stuff between grass and dirt).

Grunkle the Garbage Lady

Grunkle is the garbage lady of Foon. As the Garbage Lady, she eats everyone's garbage. Her human mother was also a garbage eater, and her father was some mud. She sneaks into people’s homes to watch them sleep and eat their garbage.

Grunkle wasn’t allowed in the tavern for 13 years because she once had so much mead, beer, and rotisserie chicken that she diarrhea-ed everywhere and pooped out a diarrhea monster which she had to battle.

Stick the Squire for Hire

Stick works as a squire for hire, serving as an apprentice to try and learn the ropes of different professions, In the Vermilion Minotaur, after some discussion of his wedding plans, Chunt gently reminds Arnie that the future is promised to no one and suggests they train a replacement host as a contingency plan. He introduces Stick, the Squire for Hire. Most of Stick’s masters have met grisly fates, denying him an opportunity to assume their roles. As each master dies, he moves on to a new apprentice gig.

Arnie lets him audition as host, and Stick immediately renames the podcast Chatterstick. Chunt and Usidore love the new direction, but Arnie has feedback. Arnie is also nervous about Stick playing with his very sharp dagger, and it begins to dawn on him that Stick may be murdering all his masters.

Pulcifer & Nudutts

Pulcifer the Unassuming is a scholar who shares a body with a wereboar named Nudutts, who swears he is the body’s original owner. The wereboar is prone to occasionally emerging to spout conspiracy theories like "10-11 was an inside job!" Usidore commented that the only physical difference between the two is that Nudutts wears a really nice watch that disappears into his arm when Pulcifer re-emerges.

Bertramus the Former Bird

Polo &  Bustly The Bibbits 

Polo Tatums is a Bibbit (a more homely type of halfling) in possesion of a trinket of great dark power which draws out the wearer’s negative emotions to the extreme, after having ordered it from an ominous jeweler.

Fig and Maple Milkweed the Herbalists

They are herbalists and seller of remedies which they promise is not a pyramid scheme, such as troll’s hair to get rid of dwarf lung, a condition in which gemstones will form within a dwarf’s lungs. 

Josh Swollensword

Josh Swollensword is an erotic dancer, who performs at mostly bachelor/bachelorette parties, weddings, and funerals. He used to be a Mittens star in high school but he (literally) threw out his hip during a game to distract someone trying to catch a bird. A goblin doctor replaced it with a goblin hip and now he dances very well but can no longer play Mittens.

D'athaniel Quen'yarvin

D’athaniel Quen’yarvin is an Elvish archer from the village of L’Ori L’Oughlin, and is currently middle-aged at 334 years old. He is described as "circus freak tall, but it works."

He is not as skilled an archer as an elf is expected to be, and is mocked by his own people, who call him insulting names like Willowarms or Legman, his father, Darth'raniel Quen'yarvin, disappeared when DQ was only 130 years old. His mother told him that "the trees took him", which he interpreted literally. Initially, DQ wanted to take revenge on the trees for "taking" his father by ironically shooting them with a wooden arrow.

Crone Bakeress

Crone Bakeress is a crone bakeress who runs the Crone Bakeress Bakery. Her baked goods include wizard's dream cookies (which make a wizard's dreams less unpleasant for others to listen to), scrones, cronessants, crookies, crake, and crupcakes.

Arnie thought her laugh sounded suspicious, and noticed what looked like blonde hair poking out of Crone's robes. Usidore pulled down her hood and revealed her to be Braidwynn the warrior elf in disguise.

Mundle the Grundle

Mundle the Grundle plays the "Hello from the Magic Tavern" theme music on his flute live on every episode that takes place at The Vermilion Minotaur. He has many arms and mouths for playing his many instruments.

Mundle is also mute. Besides playing the theme music, he has only been heard responding by playing the vibraslap Arnie gave him as a Chris-Must gift.

Axelrod Remax

Axelrod ReMax is a real estate agent in Foon, and has homes in the Northeast, the Southwest, the Northwest and the Southeast.

He is frequently employed for dark deeds, such as assassinations and robberies, as he can provide accurate floor plans of anyone’s home, but he is willing to look the other way provided enough compensation. A flag is raised whenever he enters a town as to alert the people of his presence, but he prefers not to be seen by anyone.

Gracie, the Last of the Singled Out Folk

Dopel the Doppelgänger 

and Lurm

The Doppelgängers are a secretive family of spies, assassins, and masters of mimicry, capable of copying someone’s appearance simply by touching them, but Dopel was separated from his family as a child by his evil twin Ropel and raised in the sexual land of Swizzenbaum, known for their sex baskets made to carry their sex hats. As such, he has missed out on years of training, and his mimicry skills are a clear development opportunity. Now Dopel feels like a stranger in both worlds and longs to find his true identity.

Crystal the Genie

Crystal Glass Shantaleer is a genie who can grant three wishes to whoever rubs her lamp. When she first appeared on the podcast she was rather introverted until Chunt used a wish to make her more outgoing, and later Arnie wished her to be happy.